The Secret to Getting Everything You Want: Just Ask!
In their amazing book The Aladdin Factor, bestselling authors Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen claim that the secret to getting everything you want is to just ask. There are many reasons people don’t do this. They sometimes don’t realize that’s all they have to do–it seems too easy. Or they don’t know what to ask for. If you’re not exactly sure what you want, then you won’t know what to ask for. We don’t know what’s available, so we don’t ask, or we think it’s not available to us. Maybe we feel it’s out of our reach.
We also don’t know what we don’t know, so when going after a goal, we are sometimes clueless as to what resources are available. Or maybe we ask one person and they say no, or they don’t know and we stop there. A good question to ask when that happens is, “Who do you think might know?” Then you can keep going and ask others for help.
Sometimes we don’t know how to ask. Should we be tactful or direct, how do we get through gatekeepers, should we call or email, what is the best offer of value to get the information we want? Maybe we have asked before and been rejected so we’re reluctant to risk again.
Or we fear looking stupid, being humiliated, embarrassed, obligated, or unworthy. Maybe we fear looking weak or needy, or in the case of many men, their pride gets in the way. You know the common joke about men not asking for directions.
There are many ways to ask, benefits to asking, and reasons to ask. For a full picture of the best information on the subject read The Aladdin Factor. Here are a few things you can ask for that will aid you in getting more of what you want:
1. Ask for the business. When you are in business for yourself or are in sales, you need to ask for the business to get it. Sometimes a customer will be eager and give you the sale. Usually, though, when you’re negotiating to close a sale, all you have to do is ask: Would you like to pay by check or PayPal? Would you like to set up our first session on Tuesday or Wednesday? How would you like that shipped?
2. Ask for information. There’s something you need to know that will help you will your goals. Maybe it’s the best way to set a goal, or design an action plan, or stay accountable to your daily actions. Maybe it’s how to track your progress or what to do when you hit obstacles. Find the people who’ve done it before you. They are usually most willing to share the secrets of their success.
3. Ask for directions. Besides street directions, how about asking how that appliance or new software works. How do I download my iPod? How can I load that photo onto my Facebook profile? Online there are tutorials to answer our questions, and there are people who have more expertise than you and are willing to explain what you need to know. Ask for directions so you can get on with your quest to get what you want.
4. Ask for support. You could do it alone, but it’s not as much fun or as effective. Who could you ask for support as you go after your goals? A good friend, someone who’s achieved the same goals, a coach? Coaches will hold you accountable for your actions and help you overcome obstacles.
Thanks to Working at Home on the Internet for including this article in the Working at Home Blog Carnival.
This is an area where I’ve had trouble in the past. I could ask God for help, but not people.
As I work to grow my business and enhance my life, I’ve become more comfortable with asking for help. In her book, Refuse to Choose, and her seminars, Barbara Sher emphasizes that you can accomplish whatever you want if you get enough people to help you. I now subscribe to that approach and find that people are delighted to help you achieve a worthy goal.
Nice article, David,
I think the other side of asking is expecting and/or letting in the asked for item or condition. What I call the “yes, but” syndrome is all too prevalent.
Sometimes the words “yes” and “but” are in the speech or thought pattern and sometimes not. For example, “Yes, I really want a new job, but I don’t think I can get it.”
Or, “She/He is really wonderful, except for ___” Or, “I really want more money flowing in my life. Now, how can I get that product/service for free?”
So, yes, ask for want you want and then let the Universe deliver by being in a state of happiness, eagerness, and expectancy.
Along the same lines, a lot of times people don’t allow themselves to ask for what they really want. They pre-edit their requests for fear that it is not acceptable. I know I’ve done that myself. It’s a tough habit to break.
But really — we gotta get to the heart of the matter, always. Skirting around the issue only delays getting what you need.
ari
So true. I’m reminded of the teaching of Jesus here when he says to “Ask and it will be given to you. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened to you.” There is a fundamental truth in the world in which we live that we most often can find the good things we desire if we dare to simply ask and open ourselves up to receive them. Thanks for the post!
yep eventhough it’s possible that we can succeed on our own. Why take the hard way when there’s an easy way out?
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