The WORKPLACE SURVIVAL Dialog
By David B. Bohl | May 8, 2007 | 6 Responses
Today’s workplace is weighed down by jerks, bullies, tyrants, and despots is what Robert Sutton author of The No Assholes Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One that Isn’t says is just euphemisms for what others really call those creeps. Sutton defines “assholes” as those who make colleagues feel less-than and who use their authority over those less powerful. Brave enough to take the Asshole Rating Self-Exam (ARSE)? Go ahead I did!
I’m an admirer of Robert Sutton, the Stanford University professor of Management Science and Engineering who wrote the book The No Assholes Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One that Isn’t. You’ll see Bob’s blogs, The Working Life and Work Matters, listed in my Blogroll.
Professor Sutton’s premise is a simple one: today’s workplace is weighed down by “jerks,” “bullies,” “tyrants,” and “despots,” – sorry, these are merely, as Sutton says, “just euphemisms for what people really call those creeps”. Sutton contends that “assholes” - those who deliberately make colleagues feel less-than and who wield their authority over those less powerful - are toxic and destroy the work environment, diminish productivity, and provoke capable employees to leave - are a danger to business and everyone around them.
Sutton and Guy Kawasaki have collaborated to create the ARSE (Asshole Rating Self-Exam). To date, 83,644 have dared to take the exam online. Give it a go! I did.
I communicate and interrelate with many people who work with and for these types of people. It’s never easy, and many mornings they aren’t exactly looking forward to work when that alarm clock goes off. It’s difficult to maintain, let alone achieve, life balance when such a large part of their lives is so clearly and heavily out of balance. And when they do get through their days, there’s often negative spillover from work into their private lives – they are feel like they’re constantly walking on eggshells because they feel their work position is in jeopardy, or they cannot enjoy the present time with family and friends because their minds are preoccupied with work, or they’re having problems sleeping, or – the list goes on.
The fact of the matter is that not everyone is fortunate enough to love his or her job. Do you need to love your job? Not necessarily. Most people don’t love their work. Many like it, some tolerate it. For most, it simply supports their lifestyle.
The WORKPLACE SURVIVAL Dialog – You’re Invited to Participate
We may now be dealing, or at some point in our lives we’ve all had to deal, with a workplace that is less than civilized. How have we handled it? What have we done to get through the toughest times?
That’s the subject of The WORKPLACE SURVIVAL Dialog:
How do we deal with a less-than-ideal work situation?
How do we keep those unpleasant circumstances from affecting every aspect of our lives?
Here’s your chance to weigh in on the issue.
REFLECTIONS on Balance Readers – Simply leave a comment. Hint: HTML is permitted in the comment area and will be converted into links (for example, if you include http://www.yourcompany.com in the comment box, it will appear as a link on my blog). In addition, be sure to include your Web site address, if you have one, where it asks for one on the comment form.
Bloggers:
- Write a post on your blog about how you’ve dealt with a troubling work situation.
- Link to other posts or blogs on this topic or include comments properly credited.
- Link back to this post if you’d like to be included and linked back to in future posts on this topic. Please help me to help you by emailing me notice of your post.
- Include “workplace survival dialog” in your Technorati tags (if you use them).
- Spread the word. Feel free to use the Workplace Survival banner with proper acknowledgment.
The deadline for this project is May 21, 2007.
Before I contribute to the dialog, I’d like to thank Ben Yoskovitz at the Instigator Blog for his inspirations.
I’ll start this dialog off:
Regardless of how bad one’s situation is at work – no matter how powerless you may feel at the moment, you have the ability to define what the rest of your life will look like. Change may not happen overnight, but it can definitely happen in increments.
Focus on living in the present. When you’re at work, approach it with integrity. Give the most to it instead of making the best of it. Take satisfaction in the way you do your job. Be passionate about the way you do your job.
Work is only one part of your life. Remember to live the rest of your life as well. Focus on what’s important to you and set goals for all the many roles you play in life:
Family — these goals give us the chance to show love, take on responsibility, share responsibility, and make a positive contribution to society.
Friends — these goals give you the chance to share, to care, and to bare your soul and bond with people you like.
Solitude — these goals earmark quiet time for you to recharge your batteries, calm yourself, rest up, and make plans.
Developmental — these are your goals that allow you to improve your emotional and intellectual development. Self-improvement is the name of the game here.
Financial — these goals allow you to plan for and buy a new car, a new boat, a great new home, a fun family vacation, retirement income, or anything else you want…or to achieve financial freedom so that you needn’t work for others. You can also set a financial goal to retire early if you like.
Leisure — these goals exist to make sure you don’t burn out. By making time for recreation, you restore your health. This category includes fun activities that help you blow off steam and give you chances to socialize, meet new friends, and develop new skills.
Health — these goals should never by neglected by entrepreneurs, but too often they are. If you’re not physically healthy, your brain function suffers, and your spirits sag. Therefore, you need to set goals for your diet, exercise, resistance training, and sufficient sleep.
Spiritual — these goals give us the chance to tap into power that is much greater than our own and that provides a source of inspiration and strength. From this, we gain morals and a sense of wonder and awe at the whole of creation.
Change will never happen unless you consciously choose it, set goals, and take steps. It starts with self-assessment.
Decide where you want to be and take action to get there. Build your life plan and your work plan will become much easier to manage, integrate, or create meaning in.
Copyright 2008 David Bohl and SlowDownFast.com. All rights reserved.
About the Author:
Husband, father, friend, Life Coach and Lifestyle Designer David B. Bohl is the creator of Slow Down FAST at www.slowdownfast.com.
Sign up for his online newsletter, The Bohl Report: Free Work-Life Balance, Productivity and Happiness Tips today:
Categories: Technology, Values, Relationships, Partners, Mothers, What Do You Want?, Women, Corporate Culture, Management Attitudes, Your Passion, Work-Life Balance, Work-Family Balance, Men, Life Balance, Communication, Couples, Children, Career Changes, Business Owners/ Self-Employed, Daily Living, Distractions, Fathers, Keep it Simple, Families, Expectations, Executives, Weblogs
Trackback URL for this post | Print This Post
Related Posts:
- How often do you take a personal day from work? - WORKPLACE SURVIVAL DIALOG
- WORKPLACE SURVIVAL Dialog - New Contributions
- WORKPLACE SURVIVAL Dialog - First Contributions
- A Final Word on Workplace Survival
- Surviving (Tolerating, Accepting, and Eluding) Negative People, Places, and Situations
- Understanding Today’s Career Work-Life Balance Needs
- U.S. Workers Whine About Work-Life Balance
- How Praise Inspires Others to Succeed
- What Women Need: Is it Really that Different From What Men Need?
- Flowing With Change
6 Responses to “The WORKPLACE SURVIVAL Dialog”
Comments
« The Test of a Good Partner I’ll Take “Life Balance” for $100,000 Alex »
May 9th, 2007 at 4:44 pm
Hi David, I am so glad you mentioned solitude as an important part of your life. So few people build this kind of “alone” time into their day (or at least their week).
Quiet time alone is necessary to be creative. When I am over-scheduled I stop getting fresh new ideas. You need time to think — brain time.
If, like me, you happen to be an introvert on the Myers Briggs personality scale, you will have an extra strong need for quiet time. Being around people too much will sap your energy if you are an introvert, and the only way to generate more energy is to think and reflect.
Best,
Anita
May 9th, 2007 at 9:20 pm
Anita,
Thank you for your comments.
You’re absolutely right. That has been my experience as well.
I was speaking with my personal coach yesterday (Yes, I too have a coach! Many people are surprised by this, but shouldn’t be. I grow through that relationship just like anyone else can if they make the commitment), and I shared with her how I had been doing a great deal of reading lately.
I had gone through a period where I became so busy that I was feeling a bit overwhelmed. Once I made some time for myself and plunged into a few books that had been sitting next to my desk gathering dust, I felt rejuvenated - my energy and creativity seemed to come back in droves.
I’ve come to call it “dipping back into the well” because it’s a place I can go for my refreshment.
David
May 11th, 2007 at 4:58 am
Hi David,
Great topic! I remember the corporate lumps and bumps rather well. For the most part, we had good people with good intentions. But, just like a family who gets “in each others’ business” from time to time, there were more than a few gnarls that had to be worked out.
My natural reaction, in those situations, is to take a more proactive stance and open the lines of communication. I know it sounds cliche, but everyone has their certain “thing” that they do, and I believe mine is bringing people together and offering encouragement, fostering cooperation.
Specifically, I can recall a time in my working life when one of our staff copywriters was having some trouble getting up to speed. In an attempt to help this person along but not make him/her feel singled out, I developed a “headline-writing tutorial.” Everyone in our group was invited to participate in this growth/creativity exercise. The manager approved the lessons I drew up, and everyone there got a much-needed refresher course, including me.
Thinking back, that individual might have been in the wrong profession, and that’s certainly not uncommon. I guess one way to find out for certain is with a bit of exploration, such as in the exercise I described above.
As I mentioned, communication and involvement is a strong point for me. I know that I can’t always move the mountains like I want to, but at least I know that I tried.
Of course, communication may not be for everyone. I think that if you put forth your best effort in whatever area you shine, you really can’t help but to improve the situation. And if it doesn’t work out, at least you know you did your best and learned something from the experience.
Thanks for opening up this dialogue!
Dina
May 11th, 2007 at 11:55 am
Dina,
Great lessons here. Thanks for sharing.
Your last paragraph reminded me of my first real job. I started as at the Chicago Board Options Exchange “back in the day” when the options and futures markets were in their infancy. I was just kid out of college and was attracted to the zoo-like atmosphere and pure capitalism I witnessed there.
Anyway, I jumped at the first job offer I received – that of being a runner for a member firm for a whopping $9,000 per year (no, that wasn’t even a respectable amount of money in 1982), but I saw it as an opportunity become exposed to bigger and better things.
What I was exposed to were two bosses who were into money, power, prestige, and doing as little work as possible. They’d show up every morning hung over and screaming at everyone, work for an hour or so, then head across the street to the local bar for most of the day, only showing up to create more chaos around them.
I became one of their go-to-guys – someone they could rely on to get their work done. Before long, however, they wanted to include me in their “good-old-boys” club, I guess as a way of somehow rewarding me.
I wanted nothing to do with this. I knew that my present and future would be limited by my association with them (if it wasn’t already).
My mission then became keeping my head down, doing my job to the best of my ability, and supporting the people around me. It was a simple matter of working and functioning in that environment without becoming a product of it.
May 24th, 2007 at 7:48 am
Hi David,
Wow, thanks for that revealing peek into your past. I applaud your ability to rise above the situation - you really did make it work for you!
May 29th, 2007 at 9:49 am
I finally added my own!
I know, it took forever, but thanks again for the great idea. Sorry if you got this message twice. I sent it before, but I don’t think it worked. Hope all is well with you 
-Kate