We are told to strive for unattainable lifestyles and to model ourselves after unrealistic, airbrushed models.

Sometimes you need to step back from this virtual reality and ponder what life is really about. Will that Mercedes or those anti-anxiety medications really make you happier, or are they only temporary solutions to deeper issues? Examine these five myths about how you should be living your life and start living the way you want to live.

Myth 1: Material Things Prove Your Worth

Someone once said, “One reason it’s so hard to save money is that our neighbors are always buying something we can’t afford.” Keeping up with the Joneses is certainly no way to live, and the desire to do so stems from a belief that material things prove your worth. Extravagant clothing, houses, and cars oftentimes serve as status symbols in today’s society, but when it comes down to it, what you have in your heart and mind is worth much more than what you’ve got in your wallet. Furthermore, comparing yourself financially to your friends and family will only cause envy and strife. Remember that while luxuries may be enjoyable, they don’t make you who you are.

Myth 2: You Should Always Take an Expert’s Opinion at Face Value

How many times have you taken your car in for a simple oil change, only to be told you need hundreds of dollars worth of repairs in other areas? Have you taken the mechanic’s word for it and shelled out the cash or gone in for a second opinion elsewhere? We tend to rely on experts for advice, whether they are doctors, lawyers, financial consultants, or repairmen, but you can’t forget that even though they are experts, they still don’t know everything. You always retain the power to do your own research or seek out another form of advice. You may find that separate individuals offer different yet complementary opinions that allow you to shape a more informed decision on the issue you are having.

Myth 3: When in Doubt, Medicate

It’s hard to make it through a 2-minute commercial break without seeing an advertisement for some sort of prescription drug. The prescription drug industry has exploded in the past decade, and Zoloft, Prozac, and Ritalin are now part of most Americans’ vocabulary. While there is something to be said for the positive benefits medications have to offer, they are certainly not quick fix on the road to happiness. Before asking your doctor about the latest mood-altering drug you saw on television or in a magazine, consider seeking therapy and using self-improvement strategies to alter your moods instead. Even if prescription drugs are a feasible option for your treatment plan, it’s important to remember that they are not a cure-all. Healing takes time and a repertoire of varying strategies in order to truly come about.

Myth 4: It’s Hip to Be Forever Young

The world today is filled with Peter Pans – adults who don’t want to grow up. Whether they are lacking in emotional maturity or in wrinkles, growing old has become a faux pas for a lot of people. Don’t get the wrong idea. It’s great to feel young at heart and to be physically fit, but it’s possible to do so and still age gracefully. Aging with class involves learning from your past. What’s the point of a life long-lived if you want to act like a child and look like one, too? Gray hair, laugh lines, and a cultivated point of view are things to be embraced, not shunned.

Myth 5: You Can Do It All

Society tends to tell us that multitasking and the ability to juggle lots of things at once is a good thing, but when you have too many things in the air, something is bound to get dropped. Ambition is a good thing, but you have to know when enough is enough. Yes, it’s possible to be a wife, a mother, a businesswoman, and the best baker at the church bazaar, but it’s also okay to say no when your best friend asks you to help her plan a charity gala. When you take on more than you can handle, the quality of your projects often suffers. Don’t feel pressured to be a yes-man. Even the best of us can’t do it all.

There are so many self-improvement blogs, magazines, and websites out there these days, everyone has an opinion on the way you should be living your life. It’s important not to focus on the myths flooding the media but to analyze your situations carefully and live the way that is right for you.

NEWSFLASH: I’ve added another chapter to my life by joining C.A.S.T. Recovery, a Los Angeles based national outpatient drug rehab program which specializes in designing highly individualized recovery plans with appropriate professionals to support a client’s health, accountability, and success.

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Suppose someone hands you a five-pound box of paper and tells you that it’s part of a project that’s due next week!

Or what about if you’re creating a business model for your own company – that’s a pretty voluminous project.

Here are some must-have tips for streamlining the work so that things get done right and move forward according to schedule.

Create a plan

A house builder doesn’t just show up at the site and start building. He works closely with an architect, creating blueprints–a plan on how the structure will be created and built. The same holds true for any type of project you’re working on. You need to have a big picture view of the project and then sit down and plan out how you’re going to get from start to finish.

While planning may seem like an extra step when you can just get right to it, it can actually save you a lot of time and mistakes in the long run, making it faster to get from start to finish than if you just wing it as you go along.

Form a team

Teamwork is an ideal way to streamline a project — in fact, many small business owners form teams of freelance professionals to churn out work faster, please clients with their expertise, and pull in more profit in less time.

Each team member should bring something unique to the table, so assign tasks that utilize these talents. Not only will you get the task completed quicker, but you’ll get it done effectively because you’ll have the best people working on what they do best. If you’ve ever attempted to “do it all alone,” you know how disconcerting that can be, not to mention what a time and energy drainer. When you form a team, even if you’re paying money to those people, you’re giving yourself back the gift of time and energy to focus on other important things.

Create a timeline

While a plan lists out the tasks required to get the project done, a timeline adds deadlines to the tasks. Creating a timeline lets everyone know when each task has to be completed, and also gives a sense of cooperation – because you’re depending on another person’s expedience before you can move forward with your portion of the work. Timelines also helps to eliminate procrastination. If everyone involved strives to meet the deadlines, the project begins to take on momentum and a sense of accomplishment – while fuels expedience even more!

Create procedures

Now that you know where you’re going with the project (plan) and when you need to get there, you’ve got to figure out how this will be pulled off. Will you automate certain parts of this by utilizing the appropriate computer programs? Will you outsource to other people who can offer part-time help for less than you would have paid a full-timer? What about communication – is it worth mapping out explicit instructions for people to follow, so that each person takes the shortest distance to success?

Each time you tap into another productive solution, document it and turn it into instructions that other members of the team can use to help move things along. By creating procedures, you’re creating the directions, the road map if you will, on how to get from one task to the next, finally bringing the project to completion. Also – if someone else brings a new idea to the table on how to get something done even faster or more efficiently – hear them out. Procedures should be adhered to, but also offer some flexibility. After all, you want to do what truly works, not what you think will work! This is how great companies continue to innovate new solutions every day!

Keep track of the progress

It’s not enough to just create a plan and run with it. It also streamlines the process if you keep track of how the project’s progressing. As a task is completed, check it off or highlight it before moving on to the next task. If the group reaches a milestone, pump in some fresh energy with a little celebrating and some kudos all around – this keeps spirits fresh and motivation levels high.

If a deadline is looming, make sure that everyone working on the project is reminded of what has to be completed and when — this way, there can be no excuses or oversights. If deadlines are being missed, try to figure out why so that the problem can be corrected and avoided as you move along. Don’t forget to document your solution as part of the procedure or “order of operations.”

Have a back-up plan

Even the perfect plans run into snags, so make sure you have a back-up plan in place. During the planning process, try to anticipate problems or issues that may come up during the project and prepare for how you’ll deal with these snags.

In order to streamline a project, you’ve got to take control. Plan before you jump in with both feet. Form a team and assign tasks to various people to get the job done faster and more effectively. Set deadlines and stick to them. Figure out how you’re going to carry the plan out. In case something goes wrong, make sure you have a back-up plan in place. If you do these six things, you’ll be well on your way to seeing your project finished a lot faster than if you muddle through it as you go.

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One-liners are often meaningful and memorable, but what about the context they were taken from? While it’s great to be remembered for snippets of brilliant conversation, it’s better to be memorable for being a great conversationalist as a whole.

If you’d like to heighten the value of your conversations, here are some tips to consider.

Think Before You Speak

People often have a tendency to blurt out whatever pops into their minds before thinking about the impact it may have on their conversational audience. While flashes of genius may occur occasionally, it’s more likely that a well-thought-out comment will have a greater impact.

Furthermore, when you allow yourself to air your thoughts without consideration to who you’re speaking to or how it may affect them, you can end up saying things you may regret later on, whether it be hurtful comments or simply viewpoints you are not prepared to defend. Instead, take the time during your conversations to carefully consider your remarks. You will find that not only do you become more a memorable speaker, but you won’t have to spend time backpedaling later on comments you didn’t mean.

Know Your Audience

What do you think would be more memorable to a stay-at-home parent – a talk about healthy cooking and recipes for families on a budget or a discussion on the facts and fiction of high-fructose corn syrup? While both topics may contain beneficial knowledge, the former is more likely to keep a parent’s attention and interest because it relates more directly to things a parent may be experiencing.

The point is, to be memorable, you must know who you’re talking to and what will stay with them after the conversation is finished. Whether you are giving an informal lecture to a group of college students or meeting for coffee with your neighbor, being memorable in conversation is all about relating to your audience and talking about things that are of importance to them.

Listen

Contrary to what you may think, memorable conversations do not have to be one-sided. If your conversations become more like soliloquies, the person or people you are speaking to are more likely to tune you out. Great discussions require an even (or close to it) share of the speaking time. That means you need to listen as much as you talk.

When you feel strongly about a subject, it may be hard to take the time to hear what another person is saying, but doing so will allow you to analyze their point of view and respond accordingly, rather than having a one-track mind. If your partner in conversation feels like you acknowledge and understand his perspective, he is also more likely to attribute value to your statements.

Be Sincere

Last but most certainly not least, you absolutely have to be sincere about your topics of conversation in order to be memorable. People are perceptive, and they will know if you are faking it. Conversely, however, they will also know if you are truly passionate and genuine in what you are saying. Everyone appreciates earnest conversation, and they will be more likely to let what you are saying sink in and affect them if they believe you mean it.

Becoming a memorable conversationalist is not difficult, but it does take thought and consideration. Always think about the impact of your statements before they come out of your mouth, and try to know what matters to your listeners so that you can converse about topics that relate to their interests.

Furthermore, be a listener yourself. Don’t allow your knowledge on a subject or fervent feelings about it to overshadow the thoughts and opinions of others. And lastly, always be sincere when you speak. Try these tips and you never know – you just may find your words of wisdom next to those of Eleanor Roosevelt or Albert Einstein on Bartleby.com!

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Here are the 12 Most-Read Numbered Posts in 2008 at Slow Down FAST:

12.    5 Tips for Becoming a Better Listener
11.    5 Qualities of Successful Relationships
10.    6 Ways for Effecting Change in Your Life
9.      6 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Busting Out of the Rat Race
8.      5 Signs It’s Time to Slow Down Fast
7.      6 Ways to Be a Friend Without Involving Money, Gifts or Obligation
6.      5 Ways to Reconnect to Your Inner Child
5.      10 Great Productivity Web Sites
4.      5 Signs You’re a Pleaser and What to Do About It
3.      5 Simple Tricks To Make You Smarter
2.      8 Essential Ingredients to Master Your Time
1.      The Causes and Cures of Procrastination

Thank you all for your support throughout the year, and best wishes in all your future endeavors.

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So, after 700+ posts in 2008, I’m publishing the 12 Most Read Posts at Slow Down FAST so we can all get a jump on the new year.

Thank you all for your support throughout the year.

Here they are:

1. The Causes and Cures of Procrastination
2. Mindhacks: 5 Ways to Increase Creativity, Productivity and Intelligence
3. How to Overcome the #1 Fear: Public Speaking
4. 8 Essential Ingredients to Master Your Time
5. Do Not Wage Psychological Warfare
6. Stuck in a Rut? Fire Up Your Creativity with These 7 Steps
7. What Are You Passionate About?
8. See How Easily You Can Handle Change
9. How to Maintain Professional Boundaries
10. 5 Simple Tricks To Make You Smarter
11. 5 Signs You’re a Pleaser and What to Do About It
12. From Greedy to Grateful – Appreciating What You Have

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No one seems to realize the power of honesty. You are only as good as your word. No one will believe or trust you if you play verbal games. Honesty is morally right and efficient. And ultimately, always the best policy.

So when they are caught with their pants down and are backed into a corner, the slippery politicians come up with phony apologies. But, bad apologies are worse than no apology at all. In our personal and professional lives, we wouldn’t stand for this. We wouldn’t let people off the hook with bad apologies. Once your friend, partner, or business associate is caught in a lie or bad apology after the fact, your trust factor is severely reduced!

Saying the words when apologizing is often not enough. For an apology to be acceptable, you have to mean it and show it; and it should contain the 3 Rs:

Responsibility – the person must take responsibility for making the mistake and for having done harm. Admitting you are wrong is the first step in making an acceptable apology. If you live in a world of blame and complain, you are not living in the world of responsibility. Ultimately the truth will come out, so why not save the guilt and loss of trust by admitting your wrong-doing and moving on?

There’s more to an apology than just saying, “I’m sorry.” You need to swallow your pride and say, “I know I messed up.” That’s difficult for most people to admit, because we seem to strive for perfection–that ever unreachable spot on the ever distant horizon. If you truly want to make amends, acknowledge the action you took that may have hurt, humiliated, or disrespected the other person.

Of course, the level of responsibility you take in order to make your apology may vary based on the circumstances. There may be contributing factors from both parties that need to be sorted out before you both can move forward. An example might be that John is always late for meetings, and after the third time finally offers an apology to his boss, Tom. However, if Tom sent an e-mail with the meeting time and it didn’t get to John, there are contributing factors on both sides.

Remorse – they have to sincerely feel badly that their actions caused you pain. How do you demonstrate your regret or remorse for the action that you are apologizing for? First, when you take responsibility and admit your error, the person you harmed will see that you are being sincere. The injured party wants to see that the person apologizing is really sorry for the transgression they committed.

The way you deliver your apology–in person rather than by phone, letter, or e-mail–can also make a difference in the apology being accepted. If you’re apologizing, be straightforward and humble about it. Provide an explanation rather than an excuse, and don’t trivialize the situation by laughing or joking while asking for forgiveness.

You want to show the offended party that you are remorseful about what you have done. Suppose the situation entailed your forgetting to take in your neighbor’s mail while they were on vacation. You may have had good reason, like working long hours at work, or you might have merely forgotten. You would show your remorse by saying how sorry you were, admitting you messed up, and professing that you will do much better next time–if there is one.

Restitution – offer a remedy and take specific action, to right the wrong that’s been perpetrated. Aside from asking for forgiveness, you also need to face the consequences of your actions. If what you did was truly hurtful, make amends and clean up your act. You must demonstrate that you don’t intend to repeat the offense.

The best course would be to follow up the apology with positive action. For example, if you accidentally erased an important file at work, promise to retype the whole document and update your back up system — and then stick to your word. Whatever you do, don’t postpone apologizing. It is most effective when done within a relatively short time of the offending action. Otherwise, you’re living a lie and you’ll create stress on your relationship. Rather than making excuses or being evasive, swallow your pride and offer your apology. Then together, figure out what you can do to make things right between you.

Without these 3 Rs, the politician, friend, business partner, or even you, are not being honest and not being forthright with an apology. If you want to accept an apology and you want your apologies accepted, follow this simple formula.

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Don’t know what to do?

You can tell the intentions of those close to you. If your boss is tirelessly waving that promotion under your nose but never seems to deliver no matter how hard you work, do not feel guilty about leaving work early to spend time with your family. Don’t schedule lunch with your girlfriend anymore if she can’t seem to find the time to show up. Do not put yourself into the situation of being disappointed when it is in some people’s character to disappoint you and countless others. Your local representative promised lower taxes and less government involvement but the record shows the exact opposite…vote that politician out of office! Not as difficult as it might seem given that the record is there for public scrutiny.

Wonder if all absolute fact has been lost in today’s world?

I’m amazed by how difficult it is to figure out what the candidates in today’s presidential election stand for… especially with the press pushing their “unbiased” agenda. The only real solution is to not only expose yourself to all coverage (national media, cable television, talk radio, newspapers, and political journals) but to also do your own research. By cruising the candidates’ websites, you can see the consistencies and inconsistencies in their rhetoric.

It’s also interesting to see the difference in news coverage. If you watch NBC, you’ll see constant attacks on John McCain and Sarah Palin and glossing over the facts with Barack Obama and Joe Biden. When listening to Sean Hannity or Rush Limbaugh, you will see accusations thrown at the Obama-Biden ticket and more positive spin towards the republicans.

It is a difficult task, but siphoning through the nonsense for the consistent message can be done. The basics in their intentions can be seen in their parties’ politics. If you’re looking for a candidate who supports public welfare programs through higher spending and tougher government regulations, you know where to find him. If you are looking for a candidate who promotes less government involvement and the “take care of yourself first” mentality, you know where to find him, too. The trick is weeding through the issues (economy, foreign policy, healthcare, etc.) and pushing away the none-issues.

Ignore what people say and watch what they do.

Although history isn’t always an accurate guide in determining what will happen in the future, it’s a very precise indicator of what people will do. Yes, people do change, but you won’t take notice of it until you see the change in their actions. The friend that is constantly disappointing you might take notice when you stop inviting her to do things with you and mend her ways. Your boss will notice if you call him out on your constant delivery and his constant lack thereof. Check out the bills that your congressperson did and did not vote for…you might find pork barrel spending was the reason for their Yeah or Nay vote. If not, you can still hold them accountable by voicing your opinions to their office and staff.

Look for the best in everybody – IN THEIR ACTIONS TOWARDS YOU. You might not initially like what you find, but sometimes, if you wait long enough, people will surprise and impress you. Be patient.

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Down Economy Got You Way Down? It doesn’t have to!

Join me for a FR.EE teleseminar THIS WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 15th, 2008 – 7:00 PM Central.

We all see what’s going on in the world.  It sure isn’t pretty.

The markets and economy are in the tank. Foreclosures, hiring freezes, salary cuts, and layoffs are a given.

We’re hunkered down in our bunkers waiting for the storm to blow over.  Is that the right approach?

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Think about this:  When businesses feel the heat of the bad economy and decreasing sales, do they hunker down?  No!  They get very proactive.  They look for ways to cut costs and increase efficiencies.

AS INDIVIDUALS, WE SHOULD DO THE SAME THING.

• Take this time to engage in some self-assessment instead of using all your energy for self-preservation.

• Build some self-confidence, self-equity, and a foundation for your future – so that you can handle good times and bad.

Now is the best time to engage in a concentrated period of personal evaluation.

1.   Figure out where you are and where you want to go.
2.   Add things to your life that are important to you.
3.   Get rid of the things that just aren’t working anymore.

You don’t have to take it on the chin and allow the bad economy to control every aspect of your life.

Come out of the basement.  Take control.  Empower yourself!

Join me for a FR.EE teleseminar THIS WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 15th, 2008 at 7:00 PM Central.

WEBCAST REPLAY NOW AVAILABLE – Sign up below.

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Alex just completed a redesign of his blog, including a blogroll. Here’s The Next 45 Years blogroll:

• Goal Setting College
• I Will Change Your Life
• LifeHacker
• Pick The Brain
• Powerfull Living
• Slow Down Fast
• Steve Pavlina
• Synergy Institute
• Think Simple Now
• Today Is That Day
• Urban Monk
• We The Change
• Zen Habits

Thanks Alex. I’m honored to be included in such good company.

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