Fatten Up Your EQ: 6 Exercises to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

angry.jpgfrom Life Coach David Bohl

Have you ever felt out of touch with your own emotions? Do you wish you could emphathize more with the way others feel? Try these six exercises to improve your emotional intelligence and become an emotional Einstein!

Take an Emotional Inventory

During a typical day, you probably feel dozens of emotions, and these emotions influence your actions. It is easy to go about your business without examining why you do the things you do, but for one day, attempt to track your feelings. When you notice you are conducting an activity on autopilot, take a moment to analyze your thoughts and the way you feel and write them down in a journal. When you develop an ability to identify the emotional motivation behind your actions, you will grow a much better understanding of yourself and the ways you feel.

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Is Negativity Needed?

moon.jpgDon’t get me wrong; I’m all for looking on the bright side. But have you ever noticed… without the dark side, there can BE no bright side?

As Election Day edges closer, there’s an awful lot of negativity brewing. At first people seemed to thrive on pointing out how Candidate Obama didn’t do this, or Candidate McCain mismanaged that.

But now… I’m getting the distinct sense that people from both sides are just tired of hearing the criticism.

We know that the state of our country’s finances is grave. We know that something needs to change in order to fix it, and everything else that’s been or will be affected.

As the Obama campaign aptly points out, “It’s time for Change.”

But now we’ve got to figure out WHAT to do differently. And we can ONLY do that by exploring what we didn’t do right before.

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Lifestyle Coach Puts His Money Where His Mouth Is – Offers FR.EE Teleseminar: How the Average American Can Weather the Financial Crisis Without Becoming Emotionally Overwhelmed

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Down Economy Got You Way Down? It doesn’t have to!

Join me for a FR.EE teleseminar THIS WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 15th, 2008 – 7:00 PM Central.

We all see what’s going on in the world.  It sure isn’t pretty.

The markets and economy are in the tank. Foreclosures, hiring freezes, salary cuts, and layoffs are a given.

We’re hunkered down in our bunkers waiting for the storm to blow over.  Is that the right approach?

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Think about this:  When businesses feel the heat of the bad economy and decreasing sales, do they hunker down?  No!  They get very proactive.  They look for ways to cut costs and increase efficiencies.

AS INDIVIDUALS, WE SHOULD DO THE SAME THING.

  • Take this time to engage in some self-assessment instead of using all your energy for self-preservation.
  • Build some self-confidence, self-equity, and a foundation for your future – so that you can handle good times and bad.

Now is the best time to engage in a concentrated period of personal evaluation.

1.   Figure out where you are and where you want to go.
2.   Add things to your life that are important to you.
3.   Get rid of the things that just aren’t working anymore.

You don’t have to take it on the chin and allow the bad economy to control every aspect of your life.

Come out of the basement.  Take control.  Empower yourself!

Join me for a FR.EE teleseminar THIS WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 15th, 2008 at 7:00 PM Central.

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6 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Busting Out of the Rat Race

butterfly.jpgby David Bohl, Lifestyle Designer

The nine to five grind… you’ve been a participant since your late teens, early twenties. Is it time to take a hike? Here are six questions to ask yourself BEFORE you ditch those bennies.

Take an extended vacation… how does it feel?

Do you have some extra vacation stored up for a rainy day? Most of us do! This is the perfect time to see how you can really handle not going through the daily grind. Spend some leisurely time with your family and your hobbies. Find a hobby if you don’t already have one…reading, writing, biking, hiking, cooking. See how you handle your extended break, and make the determination of whether you want to leave the structure of your job to pursue other things.

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6 Signs It’s Time to Move On

freedom.jpgThinking about breaking up with your girlfriend, your job, or even your lifestyle? These 6 indicators can give you insight on whether to stick it out or throw in the towel.

You’re unhappy.

Seems to be a no-brainer, right? And yet, sometimes we’re so used to being unhappy in a job or a relationship that we never even realize there is any other way to feel.

Do you dread Monday morning by the time Sunday rolls around? Do you find that you have nothing positive to say or even think at your meetings during the week? In your personal life, do you choose to go out with friends because you don’t want to be alone with your wife or girlfriend? These are all signs that you need to either figure out how to improve your situation, or work on getting out of whatever you’re stuck in, and creating something new.

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Friend or Foe: How to Determine Who’s Really on Your Team

football.jpgby David Bohl

Did you ever hold someone in high regard as a friend, confidant, and/or advisor, only to have that person turn out to be nothing like who you thought they were? No doubt, a break in trust like this can be devastating.

Unfortunately, once we’ve been “burned,” it can be tough to start over with a clean slate and a fresh pair of rose colored glasses. And yet, that’s exactly what we need to do if we plan on living a happy and successful life!

The truth is, as much as we’d like to say that we’re independent, people need other people. We need them for comfort, we need them for connection (between each other, and as a bridge to other great minds who might be able to enrich us in some way)… we need them for inspiration. And quite simply, we need other people to help us get where we want to be in life.

Knowing this, when is the last time you asked yourself: Who’s on my team? Who can I count on when the going gets tough… who accepts me for who I am? Who opens up their mind and heart to my thoughts and feelings… who is willing to share their dreams with me?

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5 Books to Read on the Quest for a Better Life

reading.jpgfrom Personal Coach David Bohl

When I was thinking about writing on this subject, I thought about how subjective this actually is. Anyone who is on the quest for a better life most likely has their bookshelves overflowing with “self-help” or “personal growth” books. And if you’re just beginning the journey on your quest for a better life, then you may be looking for someone to help you find the best books out of the thousands that shout down at you from the bookshelves in the personal growth section of your local bookstore.

You may also have gotten recommendations from friends and associates claiming, “You’ve got to read this book. It’s changed my life!” So either you said, “I’m so happy for you,” and ignored their request, or you ran to the bookstore or Amazon.com, bought the book, only to leave it languishing on your already full bookshelf. Or you read it and said, “What’s the big deal? I don’t get it.”

Therefore, choosing a reading list for you is a difficult task. The books we read are a very personal choice. We listen to recommendations, yet, what affects others may not affect us in the same way. Additionally, your quest might be to improve your physical well-being, your wealth, your relationships, your business, or your mental or emotional health. Whatever your focus is on, will ultimately determine the books that will have the greatest impact on you.

That said, the ones I have chosen are classics, so millions of people have endorsed them. Still that doesn’t mean they will change your life, but they may have some impact on you, at least to get you thinking and reading, and maybe lead you to other books that will support your quest for a better life.

So here is my list. With these 5 books, you can’t go wrong. They may become some of your top favorites as well.

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What if the President Had a Life Coach?

lincoln.jpgHow would Americans react to a presidential candidate who has a life coach?

Are you surprised to learn that political leaders hire personal coaches to help them deal with the pressures of being a public figurehead?

If you Google the terms “political leadership coach” or “political coach” in quotation marks, you’ll see a decent 500-800 page list of results that come up. Most of it is from organizations that offer leadership grooming and personal coaching for politicians and those who are on the path to a political career.

Even though coaching is for the most part an emerging field, there are enough types of coaches to say that the trend is continuing to grow. Coaching has been big in the corporate world for some time. Companies bring in motivational consultants to groom their future leaders, work on emotional intelligence and team dynamics, and empower both individuals and groups. When done right, this works to improve sales performance by fueling the organization to achieve more in less time and using less resources.

(I recently launched a group coaching program that is currently being delivered to professionals, in both online and in-person workshop formats. Check out The Intensive Empowerment System and tell me what you think!)

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Technology is Your Friend: Now How to Manage it All?

womanoncell.jpg

Technology can seem like your best friend or your worst enemy. The truth is that technology is always your friend–you just have to know how to manage it. By taking control of the technological tools available to you, you can streamline your life, effectively manage your time, and essentially get your life back. This article provides some of the technology tools you can use and the ways you can manage the technology in your life better.

All-in-one systems

There are several all-in-one technology systems to help to streamline and organize your life. For example, many cell phones now have multiple features such as calendars, contact systems, email, notes and more. Imagine all this functionality, packed into a little device that fits in your purse or pocket. The drawback of an all-in-one system is that if something happens to the device then all of your information goes with it, right? Not exactly. Sync this device with your computer and create an automatic backup file that will protect your precious data.

Taking it one step further, you can also sync this with your email system (Outlook, Yahoo!, Gmail, etc.). Most email systems have a calendar, notes section, and contact system, which creates an additional backup of all your information. This prevents you from having to double-enter information like email addresses and appointments, and provides anytime, anywhere access from any computer or mobile device.

Let’s use Mary as an all-in-one device user example…..

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Are Your Projects Failing

Because of Group Dynamics?

“If you’re working in a big group, you’re fighting human nature.” So says Nathan Zook in a recent article for 37 Signals. (http://www.37signals.com/svn/posts/995-if-youre-working-in-a-big-group-

youre-fighting-human-nature). In fact, the research shows that the most effective and efficient project groups tend to be in the range of 8 to 14 people.

istock_000005799789xsmall.jpgReferring to a report on business author Antony Jay’s book, “The Corporation Man,” Zook says that the ideal group size has historically hovered around what Jay calls a “ten-group.” Apple calls these groups “2-pizza teams,” meaning that the entire team can be fed with two pizzas – most of their best products have been the result of 2-pizza teams. Within a group that size, decisions are made quickly and collectively, effort is evenly distributed and actions are highly mobile and quickly maneuverable.

Let the group get larger than that, however, and it gets unwieldy. Decisions have to be formally discussed in a series of meetings, as members of a larger group are often out of the loop. Some members may slack off or have their voices drowned out by other more charismatic members. Eventually, larger groups devolve into cliques and other subgroups as the group dynamic tries to equalize itself around the ideal, slowing the work and stymieing progress.

Whether you’re leading a project team at work, organizing a church committee or starting a political action group, you should keep this dynamic in mind when choosing your team. But what is it, exactly, that makes a ten-group such an effective size? And how can you successfully staff your team for best effect?

Here are a few factors you should be aware of: (more…)