We are told to strive for unattainable lifestyles and to model ourselves after unrealistic, airbrushed models.

Sometimes you need to step back from this virtual reality and ponder what life is really about. Will that Mercedes or those anti-anxiety medications really make you happier, or are they only temporary solutions to deeper issues? Examine these five myths about how you should be living your life and start living the way you want to live.

Myth 1: Material Things Prove Your Worth

Someone once said, “One reason it’s so hard to save money is that our neighbors are always buying something we can’t afford.” Keeping up with the Joneses is certainly no way to live, and the desire to do so stems from a belief that material things prove your worth. Extravagant clothing, houses, and cars oftentimes serve as status symbols in today’s society, but when it comes down to it, what you have in your heart and mind is worth much more than what you’ve got in your wallet. Furthermore, comparing yourself financially to your friends and family will only cause envy and strife. Remember that while luxuries may be enjoyable, they don’t make you who you are.

Myth 2: You Should Always Take an Expert’s Opinion at Face Value

How many times have you taken your car in for a simple oil change, only to be told you need hundreds of dollars worth of repairs in other areas? Have you taken the mechanic’s word for it and shelled out the cash or gone in for a second opinion elsewhere? We tend to rely on experts for advice, whether they are doctors, lawyers, financial consultants, or repairmen, but you can’t forget that even though they are experts, they still don’t know everything. You always retain the power to do your own research or seek out another form of advice. You may find that separate individuals offer different yet complementary opinions that allow you to shape a more informed decision on the issue you are having.

Myth 3: When in Doubt, Medicate

It’s hard to make it through a 2-minute commercial break without seeing an advertisement for some sort of prescription drug. The prescription drug industry has exploded in the past decade, and Zoloft, Prozac, and Ritalin are now part of most Americans’ vocabulary. While there is something to be said for the positive benefits medications have to offer, they are certainly not quick fix on the road to happiness. Before asking your doctor about the latest mood-altering drug you saw on television or in a magazine, consider seeking therapy and using self-improvement strategies to alter your moods instead. Even if prescription drugs are a feasible option for your treatment plan, it’s important to remember that they are not a cure-all. Healing takes time and a repertoire of varying strategies in order to truly come about.

Myth 4: It’s Hip to Be Forever Young

The world today is filled with Peter Pans – adults who don’t want to grow up. Whether they are lacking in emotional maturity or in wrinkles, growing old has become a faux pas for a lot of people. Don’t get the wrong idea. It’s great to feel young at heart and to be physically fit, but it’s possible to do so and still age gracefully. Aging with class involves learning from your past. What’s the point of a life long-lived if you want to act like a child and look like one, too? Gray hair, laugh lines, and a cultivated point of view are things to be embraced, not shunned.

Myth 5: You Can Do It All

Society tends to tell us that multitasking and the ability to juggle lots of things at once is a good thing, but when you have too many things in the air, something is bound to get dropped. Ambition is a good thing, but you have to know when enough is enough. Yes, it’s possible to be a wife, a mother, a businesswoman, and the best baker at the church bazaar, but it’s also okay to say no when your best friend asks you to help her plan a charity gala. When you take on more than you can handle, the quality of your projects often suffers. Don’t feel pressured to be a yes-man. Even the best of us can’t do it all.

There are so many self-improvement blogs, magazines, and websites out there these days, everyone has an opinion on the way you should be living your life. It’s important not to focus on the myths flooding the media but to analyze your situations carefully and live the way that is right for you.

NEWSFLASH: I’ve added another chapter to my life by joining C.A.S.T. Recovery, a Los Angeles based national outpatient drug rehab program which specializes in designing highly individualized recovery plans with appropriate professionals to support a client’s health, accountability, and success.

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So, after 700+ posts in 2008, I’m publishing the 12 Most Read Posts at Slow Down FAST so we can all get a jump on the new year.

Thank you all for your support throughout the year.

Here they are:

1. The Causes and Cures of Procrastination
2. Mindhacks: 5 Ways to Increase Creativity, Productivity and Intelligence
3. How to Overcome the #1 Fear: Public Speaking
4. 8 Essential Ingredients to Master Your Time
5. Do Not Wage Psychological Warfare
6. Stuck in a Rut? Fire Up Your Creativity with These 7 Steps
7. What Are You Passionate About?
8. See How Easily You Can Handle Change
9. How to Maintain Professional Boundaries
10. 5 Simple Tricks To Make You Smarter
11. 5 Signs You’re a Pleaser and What to Do About It
12. From Greedy to Grateful – Appreciating What You Have

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Maybe you have a talent that you are offering as a service to clients such as massage, consulting, or financial planning. Or maybe your business is selling a product like clothing, wines, or information products. Whatever your plan involves–services or products–managing your own business takes certain skills beyond the specialized knowledge that makes you good at what you do.

If you don’t learn the skills of running and managing your business, you may find yourself experiencing some of these common pitfalls. If you do experience them, acknowledge where you are, then take measures to overcome them.

 Common Pitfalls of Managing Your Own Business:

1. Not having a business plan and a marketing plan.

A business plan is a roadmap for success and a marketing plan is a schematic for every day marketing activities. Many entrepreneurs believe they can get away without a business plan if they’re not seeking outside funding, but business plans are not just for investors. They guide you to where you want to go in your business. If you don’t have a plan, find a business consultant or SCORE counselor to help you write one. You can work with a marketing consultant or SCORE counselor to develop quarterly marketing plans to track what marketing activities give you the greatest results.

2. Not doing financial projections and monthly reports.

Most business owners are only concerned with how much money is coming in. But that’s only gross profit, and your business success is based on net profit–how much is left after expenses. A major pitfall of business owners is not doing financial projections. You need to chart out for one year what income you expect and your estimated expenses, both fixed and variable. Use an Excel spreadsheet or have your accountant do it in QuickBooks. When they run your monthly profit and loss statement, make sure they explain what the numbers mean. You must know your bottom line each month to manage your business successfully.

3. Not having enough capital or reserves.

Some businesses need an infusion of capital when they start out. You may need to borrow funds for renting your location, purchasing inventory, or outfitting your office. If you were unable to borrow, you might have gotten personal loans or you started on a shoestring. With little capital, you probably don’t have much in reserve. Business advisors suggest having at least six month’s to a year’s worth of expenses in the bank. This pitfall causes the demise of many businesses. Build up your reserves whenever you have any surplus.

4. Not being knowledgeable in your field or about business.

Do you have formal training in your industry? Have you studied how to run a business? Not having enough knowledge, skill, or training in your specialty or in business is a major pitfall. How will you compete against more skilled practitioners? How will you know the best quality products to buy and the best prices? You can open a business and then get more training and education as you go along, because ongoing training will keep your skills sharp and current. And you’ll want to get educated in all the nuances of managing a business from financials, to customer service, to employee relations, and more.

5. Not checking the competition or staying current with industry trends.

You can’t ignore the competition or pretend you don’t have any. It’s not spying, but you must know who your competition is and what they are up to. Can you provide better, faster, or a different service? Can you offer deeper discounts, better quality, or follow-up support? Find out what your competition is doing and offer something more. Read industry journals and stay current with what is going on in your industry. You have to be the best to stay on top, and it only takes a little time each week to do your homework.

6. Not tracking, measuring, following up, or following through.

How can you know how successful you are if you don’t track your results? Did this marketing campaign attract more visitors to my website? If not, what can I do to improve my results? Learn how to track and measure your business and marketing activities. Also, make sure you follow up and follow through. If you send out postcards and offer a free 30-minute consultation, make sure you provide it to those who respond. If you advertise an open house for client appreciation day, follow through and hold the event. Clients and prospects will lose faith in you if you don’t keep your word.

7. Poor customer service.

Have you heard the expression, the customer is always right? I have some coaching clients who run retail operations and they say that they train their staff to give 110% when it comes to customer service. Satisfied customers provide additional revenue in the form of return business and referrals. However, dissatisfied customers can do a lot of damage by spreading the word about your poor service. See the long-term value of happy customers and do everything in your power to make this a top priority. Without customers, you have no revenue!!!

8. Burnout from overworking and doing everything yourself.

Enthusiastic entrepreneurs wear a big “S” on their chests thinking they are Super Business Owner! I can do everything myself. If I want it done right, I have to do it. That works fine until you find yourself getting about five hours of sleep a night and making errors during the work day. Start looking at what you can delegate and find top quality, affordable contractors or employees to take some of the load off. After all, all work and no play makes for a very unhappy business owner. If you’re so stressed out, how can you enjoy the fruits of your labor?

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“I finally learned that you cannot help people unless they really need help, are willing to be helped, want you to help them and ask you to help them. Even then, you can only help them to help themselves.” ~ Vincent Collins

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Don’t know what to do?

You can tell the intentions of those close to you. If your boss is tirelessly waving that promotion under your nose but never seems to deliver no matter how hard you work, do not feel guilty about leaving work early to spend time with your family. Don’t schedule lunch with your girlfriend anymore if she can’t seem to find the time to show up. Do not put yourself into the situation of being disappointed when it is in some people’s character to disappoint you and countless others. Your local representative promised lower taxes and less government involvement but the record shows the exact opposite…vote that politician out of office! Not as difficult as it might seem given that the record is there for public scrutiny.

Wonder if all absolute fact has been lost in today’s world?

I’m amazed by how difficult it is to figure out what the candidates in today’s presidential election stand for… especially with the press pushing their “unbiased” agenda. The only real solution is to not only expose yourself to all coverage (national media, cable television, talk radio, newspapers, and political journals) but to also do your own research. By cruising the candidates’ websites, you can see the consistencies and inconsistencies in their rhetoric.

It’s also interesting to see the difference in news coverage. If you watch NBC, you’ll see constant attacks on John McCain and Sarah Palin and glossing over the facts with Barack Obama and Joe Biden. When listening to Sean Hannity or Rush Limbaugh, you will see accusations thrown at the Obama-Biden ticket and more positive spin towards the republicans.

It is a difficult task, but siphoning through the nonsense for the consistent message can be done. The basics in their intentions can be seen in their parties’ politics. If you’re looking for a candidate who supports public welfare programs through higher spending and tougher government regulations, you know where to find him. If you are looking for a candidate who promotes less government involvement and the “take care of yourself first” mentality, you know where to find him, too. The trick is weeding through the issues (economy, foreign policy, healthcare, etc.) and pushing away the none-issues.

Ignore what people say and watch what they do.

Although history isn’t always an accurate guide in determining what will happen in the future, it’s a very precise indicator of what people will do. Yes, people do change, but you won’t take notice of it until you see the change in their actions. The friend that is constantly disappointing you might take notice when you stop inviting her to do things with you and mend her ways. Your boss will notice if you call him out on your constant delivery and his constant lack thereof. Check out the bills that your congressperson did and did not vote for…you might find pork barrel spending was the reason for their Yeah or Nay vote. If not, you can still hold them accountable by voicing your opinions to their office and staff.

Look for the best in everybody – IN THEIR ACTIONS TOWARDS YOU. You might not initially like what you find, but sometimes, if you wait long enough, people will surprise and impress you. Be patient.

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Down Economy Got You Way Down? It doesn’t have to!

Join me for a FR.EE teleseminar THIS WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 15th, 2008 – 7:00 PM Central.

We all see what’s going on in the world.  It sure isn’t pretty.

The markets and economy are in the tank. Foreclosures, hiring freezes, salary cuts, and layoffs are a given.

We’re hunkered down in our bunkers waiting for the storm to blow over.  Is that the right approach?

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Think about this:  When businesses feel the heat of the bad economy and decreasing sales, do they hunker down?  No!  They get very proactive.  They look for ways to cut costs and increase efficiencies.

AS INDIVIDUALS, WE SHOULD DO THE SAME THING.

• Take this time to engage in some self-assessment instead of using all your energy for self-preservation.

• Build some self-confidence, self-equity, and a foundation for your future – so that you can handle good times and bad.

Now is the best time to engage in a concentrated period of personal evaluation.

1.   Figure out where you are and where you want to go.
2.   Add things to your life that are important to you.
3.   Get rid of the things that just aren’t working anymore.

You don’t have to take it on the chin and allow the bad economy to control every aspect of your life.

Come out of the basement.  Take control.  Empower yourself!

Join me for a FR.EE teleseminar THIS WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 15th, 2008 at 7:00 PM Central.

WEBCAST REPLAY NOW AVAILABLE – Sign up below.

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If time is money, then you need to learn how to free up as much of it as possible by delegating or outsourcing tasks that take you away from your work.

Here are 3 areas to consider:

1. Accounting. When entrepreneurs start out they normally handle all of the day to day business activities, like accounting, by themselves. It’s easy when you’re just getting your feet wet, but the deeper you go the tougher it is to tread water. As your business grows, so does the amount of paperwork. Paying vendors, billing clients, keeping track of tax-deductible purchases and such can become an all-day job, which takes away time where you could be making money.

If you find yourself spending more and more time for accounting work, then it’s time to take a look at outsourcing. However, rather than go for Joe Accountant down the street, consider using an online service like ecratchit.com. The great thing about these companies is that you pay only when you need their service as opposed to hiring a full-time person you may only use twice a month.

2. Errands. No matter what type of business you’re in, there are always errands that need to be run. Trips to the post office, the office supply store, the bank and other running around are necessary, but take away from your valuable work time.

Consider hiring someone to make these runs for you. You can schedule someone to come by once a week, hand them a to-do list and then get back to work with minimal time lost.

3. Technical work. If your business is primarily web-based then you know how much time it takes to maintain a web site or blog AND drive traffic to them – it’s practically a career in itself. While you should always be responsible for the content on your site, the technical work that goes on behind the scenes can be passed off to a virtual assistant. A virtual assistant is generally someone you work with online who provides their services on an as-needed basis.

Elance is a good place to find web designers, SEO specialists and other virtual assistants. And, since it’s a bidding site, you’re in the driver’s seat when it comes to how much you want to pay. What you should know before you outsource:

Remember: The whole idea behind outsourcing is to free up more time so you can accomplish more. You certainly don’t want more headaches, which is why it’s important to do your research before hiring any company or assistant to be as sure as possible that they’re reputable, and are going to do the kind of work you expect.

Also, consider what you’re outsourcing and why. The late Dick Benson, a top direct marketing consultant once said, “You should only do what you do best in-house, and outsource the rest.”

Thanks to Working at Home on the Internet for including this article in the Working at Home Blog Carnival.

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Actress Mandy Moore credits her family and friends with keeping her grounded as she grew up in the spotlight. Being grounded and balanced is important to her, so much so that she chairs uPumpItUp.com, a site aimed at helping women balance their lives. Moore wants women to realize that they’re worthy of taking time for themselves. “Having that sense of balance in life between personal and all that other stuff is kind of essential to leading a happy life,” she says.

Francis Ford Coppola doesn’t believe in a life half-lived. His advice is to “only do it if you have the passion for it. Only do anything for that reason.”

Trust – Balance – Passion: Three essentials to meaningful daily achievement and enjoyment. Do you feel as though you’re rushing through life, too busy to really enjoy it? At the end of the day, do you feel you’ve achieved something worthwhile? If not, what can you do to build trust, balance and passion into your daily routine?

Delegate. Outsource. If you are trying to do it all yourself, STOP. At work, rely on your team or build a team you can rely on. At home, divide the workload fairly between all family members or consider hiring someone to help with regular or seasonal chores.

Be “in the moment” whether at work or with your family. Straddling the fence by never really leaving work shortchanges your family. If you have children at home, find activities that you can enjoy together as a family. Schedule date nights and special weekends with your significant other. Stay focused … no checking email … no answering business calls. Business can wait for a couple of hours while your family enjoys your top priority.

Add “me time” into your daily schedule. Guard that time and use it creatively. “Me time” is not the same as TV time. Read, write, draw, build, exercise – whatever you choose, allow it to lift you up and recharge your batteries.

Each day is a journey toward something. Begin today to create or find meaningful daily achievement and enjoyment in your work, with your family and friends, and in your personal goals.

Thanks to Denim Den for including this article in the All About Celebrities Blog Carnival, to Mila Johnas Fashion for featuring this post in the All About Celebrities Blog Carnival, to Blog My Looks for publishing this post in the All About Celebrities Blog Carnival, and to Top Model for inclusion in the All About Celebrities Blog Carnival.

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Find out the latest Tips in Creating the Life you Want in the most effortless way!

Tune in to 1130 AM in Milwaukee from 3-4 PM Central Time this Saturday, or click here ( http://www.newstalk1130.com/pages/streaming.html) to listen live via the Web.

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