We are told to strive for unattainable lifestyles and to model ourselves after unrealistic, airbrushed models.

Sometimes you need to step back from this virtual reality and ponder what life is really about. Will that Mercedes or those anti-anxiety medications really make you happier, or are they only temporary solutions to deeper issues? Examine these five myths about how you should be living your life and start living the way you want to live.

Myth 1: Material Things Prove Your Worth

Someone once said, “One reason it’s so hard to save money is that our neighbors are always buying something we can’t afford.” Keeping up with the Joneses is certainly no way to live, and the desire to do so stems from a belief that material things prove your worth. Extravagant clothing, houses, and cars oftentimes serve as status symbols in today’s society, but when it comes down to it, what you have in your heart and mind is worth much more than what you’ve got in your wallet. Furthermore, comparing yourself financially to your friends and family will only cause envy and strife. Remember that while luxuries may be enjoyable, they don’t make you who you are.

Myth 2: You Should Always Take an Expert’s Opinion at Face Value

How many times have you taken your car in for a simple oil change, only to be told you need hundreds of dollars worth of repairs in other areas? Have you taken the mechanic’s word for it and shelled out the cash or gone in for a second opinion elsewhere? We tend to rely on experts for advice, whether they are doctors, lawyers, financial consultants, or repairmen, but you can’t forget that even though they are experts, they still don’t know everything. You always retain the power to do your own research or seek out another form of advice. You may find that separate individuals offer different yet complementary opinions that allow you to shape a more informed decision on the issue you are having.

Myth 3: When in Doubt, Medicate

It’s hard to make it through a 2-minute commercial break without seeing an advertisement for some sort of prescription drug. The prescription drug industry has exploded in the past decade, and Zoloft, Prozac, and Ritalin are now part of most Americans’ vocabulary. While there is something to be said for the positive benefits medications have to offer, they are certainly not quick fix on the road to happiness. Before asking your doctor about the latest mood-altering drug you saw on television or in a magazine, consider seeking therapy and using self-improvement strategies to alter your moods instead. Even if prescription drugs are a feasible option for your treatment plan, it’s important to remember that they are not a cure-all. Healing takes time and a repertoire of varying strategies in order to truly come about.

Myth 4: It’s Hip to Be Forever Young

The world today is filled with Peter Pans – adults who don’t want to grow up. Whether they are lacking in emotional maturity or in wrinkles, growing old has become a faux pas for a lot of people. Don’t get the wrong idea. It’s great to feel young at heart and to be physically fit, but it’s possible to do so and still age gracefully. Aging with class involves learning from your past. What’s the point of a life long-lived if you want to act like a child and look like one, too? Gray hair, laugh lines, and a cultivated point of view are things to be embraced, not shunned.

Myth 5: You Can Do It All

Society tends to tell us that multitasking and the ability to juggle lots of things at once is a good thing, but when you have too many things in the air, something is bound to get dropped. Ambition is a good thing, but you have to know when enough is enough. Yes, it’s possible to be a wife, a mother, a businesswoman, and the best baker at the church bazaar, but it’s also okay to say no when your best friend asks you to help her plan a charity gala. When you take on more than you can handle, the quality of your projects often suffers. Don’t feel pressured to be a yes-man. Even the best of us can’t do it all.

There are so many self-improvement blogs, magazines, and websites out there these days, everyone has an opinion on the way you should be living your life. It’s important not to focus on the myths flooding the media but to analyze your situations carefully and live the way that is right for you.

NEWSFLASH: I’ve added another chapter to my life by joining C.A.S.T. Recovery, a Los Angeles based national outpatient drug rehab program which specializes in designing highly individualized recovery plans with appropriate professionals to support a client’s health, accountability, and success.

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Suppose someone hands you a five-pound box of paper and tells you that it’s part of a project that’s due next week!

Or what about if you’re creating a business model for your own company – that’s a pretty voluminous project.

Here are some must-have tips for streamlining the work so that things get done right and move forward according to schedule.

Create a plan

A house builder doesn’t just show up at the site and start building. He works closely with an architect, creating blueprints–a plan on how the structure will be created and built. The same holds true for any type of project you’re working on. You need to have a big picture view of the project and then sit down and plan out how you’re going to get from start to finish.

While planning may seem like an extra step when you can just get right to it, it can actually save you a lot of time and mistakes in the long run, making it faster to get from start to finish than if you just wing it as you go along.

Form a team

Teamwork is an ideal way to streamline a project — in fact, many small business owners form teams of freelance professionals to churn out work faster, please clients with their expertise, and pull in more profit in less time.

Each team member should bring something unique to the table, so assign tasks that utilize these talents. Not only will you get the task completed quicker, but you’ll get it done effectively because you’ll have the best people working on what they do best. If you’ve ever attempted to “do it all alone,” you know how disconcerting that can be, not to mention what a time and energy drainer. When you form a team, even if you’re paying money to those people, you’re giving yourself back the gift of time and energy to focus on other important things.

Create a timeline

While a plan lists out the tasks required to get the project done, a timeline adds deadlines to the tasks. Creating a timeline lets everyone know when each task has to be completed, and also gives a sense of cooperation – because you’re depending on another person’s expedience before you can move forward with your portion of the work. Timelines also helps to eliminate procrastination. If everyone involved strives to meet the deadlines, the project begins to take on momentum and a sense of accomplishment – while fuels expedience even more!

Create procedures

Now that you know where you’re going with the project (plan) and when you need to get there, you’ve got to figure out how this will be pulled off. Will you automate certain parts of this by utilizing the appropriate computer programs? Will you outsource to other people who can offer part-time help for less than you would have paid a full-timer? What about communication – is it worth mapping out explicit instructions for people to follow, so that each person takes the shortest distance to success?

Each time you tap into another productive solution, document it and turn it into instructions that other members of the team can use to help move things along. By creating procedures, you’re creating the directions, the road map if you will, on how to get from one task to the next, finally bringing the project to completion. Also – if someone else brings a new idea to the table on how to get something done even faster or more efficiently – hear them out. Procedures should be adhered to, but also offer some flexibility. After all, you want to do what truly works, not what you think will work! This is how great companies continue to innovate new solutions every day!

Keep track of the progress

It’s not enough to just create a plan and run with it. It also streamlines the process if you keep track of how the project’s progressing. As a task is completed, check it off or highlight it before moving on to the next task. If the group reaches a milestone, pump in some fresh energy with a little celebrating and some kudos all around – this keeps spirits fresh and motivation levels high.

If a deadline is looming, make sure that everyone working on the project is reminded of what has to be completed and when — this way, there can be no excuses or oversights. If deadlines are being missed, try to figure out why so that the problem can be corrected and avoided as you move along. Don’t forget to document your solution as part of the procedure or “order of operations.”

Have a back-up plan

Even the perfect plans run into snags, so make sure you have a back-up plan in place. During the planning process, try to anticipate problems or issues that may come up during the project and prepare for how you’ll deal with these snags.

In order to streamline a project, you’ve got to take control. Plan before you jump in with both feet. Form a team and assign tasks to various people to get the job done faster and more effectively. Set deadlines and stick to them. Figure out how you’re going to carry the plan out. In case something goes wrong, make sure you have a back-up plan in place. If you do these six things, you’ll be well on your way to seeing your project finished a lot faster than if you muddle through it as you go.

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One-liners are often meaningful and memorable, but what about the context they were taken from? While it’s great to be remembered for snippets of brilliant conversation, it’s better to be memorable for being a great conversationalist as a whole.

If you’d like to heighten the value of your conversations, here are some tips to consider.

Think Before You Speak

People often have a tendency to blurt out whatever pops into their minds before thinking about the impact it may have on their conversational audience. While flashes of genius may occur occasionally, it’s more likely that a well-thought-out comment will have a greater impact.

Furthermore, when you allow yourself to air your thoughts without consideration to who you’re speaking to or how it may affect them, you can end up saying things you may regret later on, whether it be hurtful comments or simply viewpoints you are not prepared to defend. Instead, take the time during your conversations to carefully consider your remarks. You will find that not only do you become more a memorable speaker, but you won’t have to spend time backpedaling later on comments you didn’t mean.

Know Your Audience

What do you think would be more memorable to a stay-at-home parent – a talk about healthy cooking and recipes for families on a budget or a discussion on the facts and fiction of high-fructose corn syrup? While both topics may contain beneficial knowledge, the former is more likely to keep a parent’s attention and interest because it relates more directly to things a parent may be experiencing.

The point is, to be memorable, you must know who you’re talking to and what will stay with them after the conversation is finished. Whether you are giving an informal lecture to a group of college students or meeting for coffee with your neighbor, being memorable in conversation is all about relating to your audience and talking about things that are of importance to them.

Listen

Contrary to what you may think, memorable conversations do not have to be one-sided. If your conversations become more like soliloquies, the person or people you are speaking to are more likely to tune you out. Great discussions require an even (or close to it) share of the speaking time. That means you need to listen as much as you talk.

When you feel strongly about a subject, it may be hard to take the time to hear what another person is saying, but doing so will allow you to analyze their point of view and respond accordingly, rather than having a one-track mind. If your partner in conversation feels like you acknowledge and understand his perspective, he is also more likely to attribute value to your statements.

Be Sincere

Last but most certainly not least, you absolutely have to be sincere about your topics of conversation in order to be memorable. People are perceptive, and they will know if you are faking it. Conversely, however, they will also know if you are truly passionate and genuine in what you are saying. Everyone appreciates earnest conversation, and they will be more likely to let what you are saying sink in and affect them if they believe you mean it.

Becoming a memorable conversationalist is not difficult, but it does take thought and consideration. Always think about the impact of your statements before they come out of your mouth, and try to know what matters to your listeners so that you can converse about topics that relate to their interests.

Furthermore, be a listener yourself. Don’t allow your knowledge on a subject or fervent feelings about it to overshadow the thoughts and opinions of others. And lastly, always be sincere when you speak. Try these tips and you never know – you just may find your words of wisdom next to those of Eleanor Roosevelt or Albert Einstein on Bartleby.com!

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Here are the 12 Most-Read Numbered Posts in 2008 at Slow Down FAST:

12.    5 Tips for Becoming a Better Listener
11.    5 Qualities of Successful Relationships
10.    6 Ways for Effecting Change in Your Life
9.      6 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Busting Out of the Rat Race
8.      5 Signs It’s Time to Slow Down Fast
7.      6 Ways to Be a Friend Without Involving Money, Gifts or Obligation
6.      5 Ways to Reconnect to Your Inner Child
5.      10 Great Productivity Web Sites
4.      5 Signs You’re a Pleaser and What to Do About It
3.      5 Simple Tricks To Make You Smarter
2.      8 Essential Ingredients to Master Your Time
1.      The Causes and Cures of Procrastination

Thank you all for your support throughout the year, and best wishes in all your future endeavors.

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So, after 700+ posts in 2008, I’m publishing the 12 Most Read Posts at Slow Down FAST so we can all get a jump on the new year.

Thank you all for your support throughout the year.

Here they are:

1. The Causes and Cures of Procrastination
2. Mindhacks: 5 Ways to Increase Creativity, Productivity and Intelligence
3. How to Overcome the #1 Fear: Public Speaking
4. 8 Essential Ingredients to Master Your Time
5. Do Not Wage Psychological Warfare
6. Stuck in a Rut? Fire Up Your Creativity with These 7 Steps
7. What Are You Passionate About?
8. See How Easily You Can Handle Change
9. How to Maintain Professional Boundaries
10. 5 Simple Tricks To Make You Smarter
11. 5 Signs You’re a Pleaser and What to Do About It
12. From Greedy to Grateful – Appreciating What You Have

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“I finally learned that you cannot help people unless they really need help, are willing to be helped, want you to help them and ask you to help them. Even then, you can only help them to help themselves.” ~ Vincent Collins

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I don’t even know where to begin to explore the kind of impact the Internet has had on life as we know it in the last several years. You might find some people who feel the impact has been negative, that it has posed threats to our privacy, corrupted youth, and hurt traditional business by competing with price and speed.

Yet, I feel, overall the Internet has offered so many more positive opportunities than negative ones, and has impacted more people than any other technological innovation this century. And you know with me, everything is perception. You can choose to see the detriments or you can see the benefits. I choose to use the Internet for the powerful medium that it is.

Because I believe just about anything is possible with the Internet, I make the most of it. I use it to improve all areas of my life and those of my coaching clients.

Below, I’ve summarized 6 Ways the Internet can help you live smarter, happier, and better!

Get an Education.

This was the original intent of the Internet, to connect universities around the globe sharing knowledge. Now, the educational possibilities are endless. Many people get their news online reading newspapers, subscribing to news feeds, or reading news-oriented websites. Others can study just about anything that strikes their interest with online education, webinars, and sites like Wikipedia, the virtual dictionary/encyclopedia. And websites, articles, forums, and other sites dedicated to education are available on any subject you can imagine.

Be Entertained.

After education, I think entertainment in a wide variety of formats was the next major use of the Internet. Gamers from around the globe compete against each other in this virtual medium, and many regular Internet users have their favorite games or entertainment sites. I have coaching clients who tell me they have ongoing competitions with friends for the highest score in FreeCell, a popular card game. I’m sure I don’t even know all the various forms of entertainment available online, since that’s not my focus, but you can be sure, if you can imagine it, it’s available on the Internet.

Shop for What You Need.

With the emergence of eBay and Amazon, the Internet became the place to shop. I do believe there is nothing you cannot purchase online. Amazon is the world’s largest bookstore and has virtually made shopping at your mall bookshop obsolete. After all, you can find the book you’re looking for at the tap of your keyboard, rather than wandering aimlessly through rows and rows of bookshelves. (Of course, some of us still enjoy the tactile experience of picking up books and leafing through them!)

You can get almost any item you’re looking for on Amazon, who has partnered up with other merchants. On eBay, if you like the thrill of an auction, you can get new or used items at bargain prices by bidding against other shoppers. eBay has also become a successful outlet for those who want to clean out their garages and closets, since just about anyone can sell just about anything on eBay and other auction similar sites.

Do Your Research Homework.

This is one usage for which I praise the Internet. Here is one place where you can do research on just about any subject. Google, the king of search engines, is gold when it comes to research. Before the Internet, you had to sit for hours in the library searching for the right resources to find what you were looking for or spend countless hours making phone calls.

For example, you can research the best travel opportunities for airfares, hotels, rental houses, things to do when you get there, and more. You can research almost any subject for almost any purpose–writing a book, developing your website, making a career change, building a business, planning a diet, comparing financial opportunities, and so much more.

Build and Manage a Virtual Business.

You can start an online business or you can expand your offline business. Local businesses from chiropractors and dentists to global businesses like web designers and consultants all benefit from websites. They can provide a professional presence to display their expert status, and they can use their site as a lead generator.

Additionally, the explosion of Internet based businesses, those primarily selling both tangible and intangible products, has seen no equal in terms of new business growth. Selling information in the form of e-books, e-courses, audio files, teleclasses, and more has spawned the new “infopreneur,” an entrepreneur who sells information.

Meet and Connect With Great People.

The explosion of social media or social networking in the last few years is a cultural phenomenon. It began with MySpace, and exploded into an ever-expanding list of networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and for the more business-minded LinkedIn and Plaxo. Through the amazing reach of the Internet you can find old college roommates, connect with long-lost relatives, and make a lot of new friends.

Besides the social sites, there are message boards, chat rooms, and communities on Yahoo groups where people can communicate with those of like interests or like industries. And we can’t forget the communication phenomenon of e-mail, which connects anyone with everyone. New on the scene is Skype, where you can instant message or talk live for free to anyone anywhere. And my favorite social connector on the Internet is the blog, which is where you are most likely reading this article.

Can you think of anything that is not possible with the Internet? I can’t! The only limits are your imagination–and technology!

You’ve Got the Tools in Front of You… Now, Where to Start?

Personal Coaching can get you where you want to be in life!

From spot coaching to unlimited lifestyle design, there’s something here to fit your needs. Explore our coaching plans today, then get in touch to schedule your first talk with David Bohl.

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Do single people really have goals that are different from married couples?

Certainly they do when it comes to relationships. Yet, their career goals may be similar, as are their personal and health goals.

However, because of their single status, unmarried folks have more time to focus on building a future that might indeed include not being single. Or on building a fulfilling lifestyle as a single person, whether or not they remain that way or change their status.

When I coach singles, I encourage them not to put any part of their life on hold, waiting for the day they are not single any more–if indeed that day ever comes. Since none of us is really in control of whether or not we get married, if you are single, set goals for what you want now and in the near future, being realistic about the unknown status of your relationship future.

Here are some realistic goals that make sense for happy, successful, single people to strive for……..

1. Optimum health.

If we don’t have our health, we can’t enjoy life, so I think that’s a great goal for anyone. Singles often have more time to go to the gym, work out with a trainer, or spend time with a favorite sport. They can also eat healthier since they don’t have to compromise what food comes into the house. No temptations from a spouse with a sweet tooth. Although, I do caution singles not to rely heavily on take out. Because their lives can be hectic with lots of activities filling the “single” spaces, they often resort to fast food and eating on the run. I enjoy hearing singles who tell me how much they like to experiment with new recipes and keep only healthy foods at home. If you don’t like eating alone, invite some other singles over and show off your cooking talents.

2. Healthy relationships.

Without a significant other in the picture, a lot of singles consider their other relationships less significant. But friends are there for the long run, while unfortunately some romantic relationships aren’t. Cultivating intimate friendships should not be done to take the place of a relationship with a spouse, but because they are fulfilling on their own. And ultimately the most important relationship to heal is the one with yourself. While you are single, you have time to devote to becoming your own best friend. This is critical to a healthy twosome, where you want to bring two whole people together to form a healthy union.

3. Personal growth.

In between relationships is the best time to grow. We are often licking our wounds after a break up, looking at what went wrong, what was our contribution to the end of the relationship, what could we learn so our future connections are improved. Reading books, taking seminars, and working with a coach are all going to add to your increased self confidence so you can walk into your next relationship with a greater chance for lasting success. Or you can just fully enjoy your current status as a happy, fulfilled single.

4. Ongoing education.

Being single offers such a great opportunity to go back to school, take continuing education classes, teach a class, learn an instrument, or a participate in a new sport. And don’t just take golf lessons because you want to meet guys, or ballroom dancing because you want to meet gals. Take the class because you really want to learn the new skill. And if you meet others, that’s great because you’re having fun.

5. Career advancement.

While you’re single is also a good time to move up the career ladder or take a risk and make a change. Since you’re not supporting another person (unless you have children), you can take more chances with your career. You might be thinking about a 180 degree change say from banking to teaching. Or you may be fed up with the corporate world and ready to hang out your shingle as an entrepreneur. I have a client who was so sick of being around sick people in his job as a radiologist, that he quit and bought a wine shop. Talk about a turnaround. But he’s ecstatic. And if he does get married, he’ll have more energy to share with his spouse because he’s happy and not burned out at the end of each day.

6. Financial well-being.

I’ve talked to some single women who still hold hope in the back of their mind that a man will take care of them someday. And I know some single men who spend every dollar they earn. Neither position is healthy for a single person today. Everyone needs to be responsible for their financial well-being and that means being smart about finances. Spend responsibly, save regularly, and invest wisely. That’s a simple formula for everyone’s financial health–single or married.

Get on the Path to Success, Wealth and Happiness! Contact Personal Coach David Bohl Today.

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There’s a saying in recovery/treatment/12-step programs that goes: “TREAT THE DISEASE, not the symptoms.” What are the diseases causing your stress? The current economic “crisis”? The political race? The politics in your office? Your son’s report card? Making your next credit card payment? You hold the power. Once you get clear in your mind, you have the opportunity and ability to deal with the anxiety and stress of today’s world by keeping your side of the street clean.

Financially Speaking

No, you didn’t singlehandedly cause the current financial crisis. So don’t take the blame for it, don’t feel guilty about it, and, by all means, don’t think that you have to fix it. Just look out for you and your family. Your only job as a responsible consumer is keeping your end of the bargain.

If you have a credit card payment that you are not sure you can make, find time to work some extra hours. Around the holidays there are plenty of seasonal jobs and you CAN make ends meet. If this is not an option, make sure you cut back on your spending. You can brew coffee at home for 1/20th the price of the designer coffee houses. Washing and ironing your own shirts for a month can save you at least $20. Pants, too, and you are looking at almost $100 or more! Cheaper cuts of meat, generic store brands, clipping coupons, can all get you to where you need to be especially if the situation is temporary.

Politically Speaking

The political race can be a toughie. There are many of you out there that are very passionate about the outcome… but are you really in a situation to make a difference? Your responsibility ends at the ballot box. You can have a clear conscience if you have done your job and supported the candidate that you believe has your best interests at heart. If you are in a swing state, it is important for you to get out there. In a traditionally red or blue state? Volunteers are always needed. You can do your part and some more by helping out the campaign of your choosing.

Professionally Speaking

Office politics is something that affects everyone differently. If you’re not happy with what’s going on, try to distance yourself from it. Make it known that you really do not care to participate in office chit-chat that can either be disruptive or hurtful. Find peace in the knowledge that you have controlled the situation and your stress levels can be lower each time you walk into the workplace. If people know that you are not interested (which is different than being offended by it) in the gossip, they will make sure that they talk to you about the things that matter in the day to day runnings of the office.

Personally Speaking

If your son has his sights on Harvard but is consistently achieving grades that will never get him there, you can find a different approach to reducing stress… not only for you, but the rest of your family. Either make sure that he understands the requirements to get into such an institution and let him know that there are plenty of other options and not to set all of his eggs in one basket, or (if you are not already) make sure you invest time in his education. Working side by side with your child not only gives him the added benefit of your support, but will also help him learn how to study and learn how to trust his instincts. After all, our job as parents is to put all of our best into our children and hope that they use it to their advantage.

All you can do is to be proactive. Accept what you can’t control. Enhance what you can.

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Thanks to Rich Life Carnival for featuring this post, to Insight Writer for including this post in the Carnival of Personal Development, and to pinkblocks for publishing this post in the Blog Carnival on Personal Power.

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