We are told to strive for unattainable lifestyles and to model ourselves after unrealistic, airbrushed models.

Sometimes you need to step back from this virtual reality and ponder what life is really about. Will that Mercedes or those anti-anxiety medications really make you happier, or are they only temporary solutions to deeper issues? Examine these five myths about how you should be living your life and start living the way you want to live.

Myth 1: Material Things Prove Your Worth

Someone once said, “One reason it’s so hard to save money is that our neighbors are always buying something we can’t afford.” Keeping up with the Joneses is certainly no way to live, and the desire to do so stems from a belief that material things prove your worth. Extravagant clothing, houses, and cars oftentimes serve as status symbols in today’s society, but when it comes down to it, what you have in your heart and mind is worth much more than what you’ve got in your wallet. Furthermore, comparing yourself financially to your friends and family will only cause envy and strife. Remember that while luxuries may be enjoyable, they don’t make you who you are.

Myth 2: You Should Always Take an Expert’s Opinion at Face Value

How many times have you taken your car in for a simple oil change, only to be told you need hundreds of dollars worth of repairs in other areas? Have you taken the mechanic’s word for it and shelled out the cash or gone in for a second opinion elsewhere? We tend to rely on experts for advice, whether they are doctors, lawyers, financial consultants, or repairmen, but you can’t forget that even though they are experts, they still don’t know everything. You always retain the power to do your own research or seek out another form of advice. You may find that separate individuals offer different yet complementary opinions that allow you to shape a more informed decision on the issue you are having.

Myth 3: When in Doubt, Medicate

It’s hard to make it through a 2-minute commercial break without seeing an advertisement for some sort of prescription drug. The prescription drug industry has exploded in the past decade, and Zoloft, Prozac, and Ritalin are now part of most Americans’ vocabulary. While there is something to be said for the positive benefits medications have to offer, they are certainly not quick fix on the road to happiness. Before asking your doctor about the latest mood-altering drug you saw on television or in a magazine, consider seeking therapy and using self-improvement strategies to alter your moods instead. Even if prescription drugs are a feasible option for your treatment plan, it’s important to remember that they are not a cure-all. Healing takes time and a repertoire of varying strategies in order to truly come about.

Myth 4: It’s Hip to Be Forever Young

The world today is filled with Peter Pans – adults who don’t want to grow up. Whether they are lacking in emotional maturity or in wrinkles, growing old has become a faux pas for a lot of people. Don’t get the wrong idea. It’s great to feel young at heart and to be physically fit, but it’s possible to do so and still age gracefully. Aging with class involves learning from your past. What’s the point of a life long-lived if you want to act like a child and look like one, too? Gray hair, laugh lines, and a cultivated point of view are things to be embraced, not shunned.

Myth 5: You Can Do It All

Society tends to tell us that multitasking and the ability to juggle lots of things at once is a good thing, but when you have too many things in the air, something is bound to get dropped. Ambition is a good thing, but you have to know when enough is enough. Yes, it’s possible to be a wife, a mother, a businesswoman, and the best baker at the church bazaar, but it’s also okay to say no when your best friend asks you to help her plan a charity gala. When you take on more than you can handle, the quality of your projects often suffers. Don’t feel pressured to be a yes-man. Even the best of us can’t do it all.

There are so many self-improvement blogs, magazines, and websites out there these days, everyone has an opinion on the way you should be living your life. It’s important not to focus on the myths flooding the media but to analyze your situations carefully and live the way that is right for you.

NEWSFLASH: I’ve added another chapter to my life by joining C.A.S.T. Recovery, a Los Angeles based national outpatient drug rehab program which specializes in designing highly individualized recovery plans with appropriate professionals to support a client’s health, accountability, and success.

Please subscribe to the Slow Down FAST RSS feed:

Bookmark to:

Hide Sites

Suppose someone hands you a five-pound box of paper and tells you that it’s part of a project that’s due next week!

Or what about if you’re creating a business model for your own company – that’s a pretty voluminous project.

Here are some must-have tips for streamlining the work so that things get done right and move forward according to schedule.

Create a plan

A house builder doesn’t just show up at the site and start building. He works closely with an architect, creating blueprints–a plan on how the structure will be created and built. The same holds true for any type of project you’re working on. You need to have a big picture view of the project and then sit down and plan out how you’re going to get from start to finish.

While planning may seem like an extra step when you can just get right to it, it can actually save you a lot of time and mistakes in the long run, making it faster to get from start to finish than if you just wing it as you go along.

Form a team

Teamwork is an ideal way to streamline a project — in fact, many small business owners form teams of freelance professionals to churn out work faster, please clients with their expertise, and pull in more profit in less time.

Each team member should bring something unique to the table, so assign tasks that utilize these talents. Not only will you get the task completed quicker, but you’ll get it done effectively because you’ll have the best people working on what they do best. If you’ve ever attempted to “do it all alone,” you know how disconcerting that can be, not to mention what a time and energy drainer. When you form a team, even if you’re paying money to those people, you’re giving yourself back the gift of time and energy to focus on other important things.

Create a timeline

While a plan lists out the tasks required to get the project done, a timeline adds deadlines to the tasks. Creating a timeline lets everyone know when each task has to be completed, and also gives a sense of cooperation – because you’re depending on another person’s expedience before you can move forward with your portion of the work. Timelines also helps to eliminate procrastination. If everyone involved strives to meet the deadlines, the project begins to take on momentum and a sense of accomplishment – while fuels expedience even more!

Create procedures

Now that you know where you’re going with the project (plan) and when you need to get there, you’ve got to figure out how this will be pulled off. Will you automate certain parts of this by utilizing the appropriate computer programs? Will you outsource to other people who can offer part-time help for less than you would have paid a full-timer? What about communication – is it worth mapping out explicit instructions for people to follow, so that each person takes the shortest distance to success?

Each time you tap into another productive solution, document it and turn it into instructions that other members of the team can use to help move things along. By creating procedures, you’re creating the directions, the road map if you will, on how to get from one task to the next, finally bringing the project to completion. Also – if someone else brings a new idea to the table on how to get something done even faster or more efficiently – hear them out. Procedures should be adhered to, but also offer some flexibility. After all, you want to do what truly works, not what you think will work! This is how great companies continue to innovate new solutions every day!

Keep track of the progress

It’s not enough to just create a plan and run with it. It also streamlines the process if you keep track of how the project’s progressing. As a task is completed, check it off or highlight it before moving on to the next task. If the group reaches a milestone, pump in some fresh energy with a little celebrating and some kudos all around – this keeps spirits fresh and motivation levels high.

If a deadline is looming, make sure that everyone working on the project is reminded of what has to be completed and when — this way, there can be no excuses or oversights. If deadlines are being missed, try to figure out why so that the problem can be corrected and avoided as you move along. Don’t forget to document your solution as part of the procedure or “order of operations.”

Have a back-up plan

Even the perfect plans run into snags, so make sure you have a back-up plan in place. During the planning process, try to anticipate problems or issues that may come up during the project and prepare for how you’ll deal with these snags.

In order to streamline a project, you’ve got to take control. Plan before you jump in with both feet. Form a team and assign tasks to various people to get the job done faster and more effectively. Set deadlines and stick to them. Figure out how you’re going to carry the plan out. In case something goes wrong, make sure you have a back-up plan in place. If you do these six things, you’ll be well on your way to seeing your project finished a lot faster than if you muddle through it as you go.

Please subscribe to the Slow Down FAST RSS feed:

Bookmark to:

Hide Sites

While this is not true of all work environments, there are some people in your professional crowd that you definitely want to avoid. Learn the traits of these professional piranhas, and stay out of their treacherous pond at work, so you don’t get eaten alive and watch your career go down in flames.

Idea Thief

The idea thief is the one who takes your great ideas and somehow turns them into his or her own great ideas. He recognizes a good idea when he swipes one, and runs straight to the powers that be to sell them on his grand plan before the creator gets a whiff of what just happened.

How to Deal With Him:

Whatever you do, don’t sell yourself short! Never give away your great ideas for free. Make sure you share them with the appropriate person and not someone who has the opportunity to use your own information against you. Once you identify who the credibility crook is, steer clear!

If you’re forced into a situation where you must work directly with an idea thief, be protective and proactive. Share your work with your boss before the idea thief gets his dirty little paws on it. If you’re brainstorming on email, be sure to CC your boss on all original work created by you. This way, the idea thief will get the hint, and go sponge off someone else’s smarts!

Slacker Steve

These are the workers that sit on a committee or a team, but don’t contribute anything to the project or job task. A group project is the ideal situation for this person, because the rest of the team that has to pick up the slack of Slacker Steve if they want to get the job done. And the worse part is that the slacker gets just as much credit for completing the job task as all of the people who actually worked!

How to Deal with Him:

Nobody likes to be the office tattletale, but if you get stuck bearing the burden of a tough project with only Slacker Steve to offer assistance, take the matter to someone higher up on the food chain. Explain that you feel more comfortable working independently, or perhaps you’d be better paired with someone else in the group who matches your level of industriousness. If that doesn’t work, come right and say that you don’t feel like Steve is pulling his weight. In general, slackers make things draining and frustrating for the rest of us, so stay clear of working with with these toads if you can!

The Control Freak

Next, you have those in the crowd who have to control everything. From what time the meeting is scheduled to assigning tasks to nitpicking the grammar and then changing it back again, the control freak has to have their hands on all aspects of the task at hand. Even when they assign the tasks to a group, the work is never as good as if they had done it themselves, so they end up doing your work for you, or redoing work you’ve already done.

How to Deal With Him:

You have one of two choices when stuck working with the Control Freak. One, you can take a passive role in the project and simply let him micro-manage you. However, this tends to come back and bite you, because if the Control Freak gets out of control, you’ll likely be the one blamed for whatever he messed up. Another option is to somehow finagle a situation where the control freak becomes so engrossed in whatever he’s doing that he can’t possibly have time to pick on your work.

Or, there is always option three, which is to direct his attention to a lesser individual in the group – someone with less experience, who is more likely to actually NEED his constant instructions. In general though, being in the driver’s seat is the control freak’s power feeder, so don’t add fuel to the fire.

Debbie Downer

The power of positive thinking works. If you surround yourself with positive people and have a positive attitude of your own, you’ll go a lot farther than if you hang with a crowd of Negative Nellies. Unfortunately there is always the Debbie or Nellie of the crowd… the one who, if there’s an open parking spot close to the building, will complain that now everyone can watch her as she eats lunch in her car. You all got bonuses, but according to Debbie Downer, it’s not enough… you know the type I refer to! If you get wrapped up in her negativity, she’s going to drag you down.

How to Deal With Her:

If you find yourself stuck under the same raincloud, bring an umbrella! Or, I should say a pair of earphones. Listening to music while working is a great way to drone out the Debbie Downers of the world. Also, make it known (in a polite way of course) that you do not share her pessimistic attitude.

Keep your mind focused on the good things. Use that energy to motivate the rest of the team. Or, at the very least… if Debbie Downer criticizes a certain aspect of work that’s fixable… why not take her advice and work toward improvement! Keep it up, and who knows… you might even get a pay raise for your effort.

Bootlicker Bob

Bootlicker Bob only cares about himself and his success, so he’ll do anything to get ahead. Also known as brownnosers, bootlickers focus all of their energy on making themselves look good and their colleagues look bad. They’re usually the ones trailing the boss, answering to his or her every whim.

How to Deal With Him:

Bootlicker Bob is probably the least harmful out of all the workplace weasles you may encounter. He’s annoying more than anything else – so find ways to avoid him and/or drown him out. If you see that Bootlicker Bob’s sucking up has outed you from a few opportunities to be noticed for your good work, then be the squeaky wheel and make some (positive) noise of your own. If he’s a snitch, keep your nose clean and document everything you do. It’s a good practice to get into anyway, regardless of whether there’s a brownnoser sniffing about.

Backstabber Betty

Similar to bootlickers, backstabbers will do anything it takes to get ahead. They’ll throw you and other colleagues under the bus in a heartbeat, if it means getting that promotion, earning the boss’s praise, or snagging that pay raise.

How to Deal with Her:

Avoid backstabbers like the plague and you’ll avoid becoming one of their casualties in the workplace. Also, play your cards close to the vest, just as you would with the Idea Thief. Keep communication reserved for you and your boss, and try to pair up on projects with someone else, who won’t try to take your credit or steal your thunder. Again, ask if you can go it solo for certain tasks – it will certainly allow you to prove your own competence without old Betty knifing you when you’re not looking, just so she can claw her way to the top!

At work, you have to deal with a lot of different types of people. While there are many good folks that you probably enjoy working with, others can be toxic to you and your career. Stay clear of these six types and you’re sure to soar ahead without any workplace drama.

Please subscribe to the Slow Down FAST RSS feed:

Bookmark to:

Hide Sites

One-liners are often meaningful and memorable, but what about the context they were taken from? While it’s great to be remembered for snippets of brilliant conversation, it’s better to be memorable for being a great conversationalist as a whole.

If you’d like to heighten the value of your conversations, here are some tips to consider.

Think Before You Speak

People often have a tendency to blurt out whatever pops into their minds before thinking about the impact it may have on their conversational audience. While flashes of genius may occur occasionally, it’s more likely that a well-thought-out comment will have a greater impact.

Furthermore, when you allow yourself to air your thoughts without consideration to who you’re speaking to or how it may affect them, you can end up saying things you may regret later on, whether it be hurtful comments or simply viewpoints you are not prepared to defend. Instead, take the time during your conversations to carefully consider your remarks. You will find that not only do you become more a memorable speaker, but you won’t have to spend time backpedaling later on comments you didn’t mean.

Know Your Audience

What do you think would be more memorable to a stay-at-home parent – a talk about healthy cooking and recipes for families on a budget or a discussion on the facts and fiction of high-fructose corn syrup? While both topics may contain beneficial knowledge, the former is more likely to keep a parent’s attention and interest because it relates more directly to things a parent may be experiencing.

The point is, to be memorable, you must know who you’re talking to and what will stay with them after the conversation is finished. Whether you are giving an informal lecture to a group of college students or meeting for coffee with your neighbor, being memorable in conversation is all about relating to your audience and talking about things that are of importance to them.

Listen

Contrary to what you may think, memorable conversations do not have to be one-sided. If your conversations become more like soliloquies, the person or people you are speaking to are more likely to tune you out. Great discussions require an even (or close to it) share of the speaking time. That means you need to listen as much as you talk.

When you feel strongly about a subject, it may be hard to take the time to hear what another person is saying, but doing so will allow you to analyze their point of view and respond accordingly, rather than having a one-track mind. If your partner in conversation feels like you acknowledge and understand his perspective, he is also more likely to attribute value to your statements.

Be Sincere

Last but most certainly not least, you absolutely have to be sincere about your topics of conversation in order to be memorable. People are perceptive, and they will know if you are faking it. Conversely, however, they will also know if you are truly passionate and genuine in what you are saying. Everyone appreciates earnest conversation, and they will be more likely to let what you are saying sink in and affect them if they believe you mean it.

Becoming a memorable conversationalist is not difficult, but it does take thought and consideration. Always think about the impact of your statements before they come out of your mouth, and try to know what matters to your listeners so that you can converse about topics that relate to their interests.

Furthermore, be a listener yourself. Don’t allow your knowledge on a subject or fervent feelings about it to overshadow the thoughts and opinions of others. And lastly, always be sincere when you speak. Try these tips and you never know – you just may find your words of wisdom next to those of Eleanor Roosevelt or Albert Einstein on Bartleby.com!

Please subscribe to the Slow Down FAST RSS feed:

Bookmark to:

Hide Sites

The 21st-century world can be a dangerous place. The wide reach of the Internet and other technological developments makes people more interconnected than ever before. Though this interconnectedness can oftentimes be a positive thing, it opens the doors for identity thieves, child predators, and scam artists to take advantage of unsuspecting victims.

Furthermore, when news headlines are filled with stories of morally bankrupt business leaders and dishonest politicians, it makes the path to righteousness seem like an uphill battle. However, you can start the climb and hopefully have an effect on others by buckling down and beginning to live right.

Know Your Ten Commandments

The Ten Commandments brought down by Moses from Mount Sinai are often referenced when people cite their personal rules for living. Whether or not you use the Bible as your ethical measuring tape, it is important to have your own code of ethics to live by.

Survey your life and the world around you. What do you believe is right or wrong? Subjects such as abortion and the death penalty are hotly contested moral issues in the public eye, but when it comes to how you live on a daily basis, attempt to formulate guidelines that you feel comfortable with and then put them into action.

Find Your Purpose

If you work full-time, you likely spend over 2,000 hours at your place of employment in one year. Sure, some of those hours are spent eating lunch and chatting with colleagues around the water cooler, but the bulk of your time spent at work is used to contribute to your company’s purpose. When you spend such a huge amount of time on something, isn’t it only natural that you should feel useful in your position?

If you don’t feel fulfilled and like you have a purpose at work, it could be time to seek out a change that will allow you to feel more satisfied. Think of your personal code of ethics and what you value. Do you see these values coming into play in your work week? Having a job that helps you feel constructive and effective in the broader sense of things will certainly help you on your way to living right.

Do Unto Others…

Everyone knows the Golden Rule, “do unto others as you would have others do unto you,” but not everyone lives by it. It’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind and let stress rule your attitude and the way you treat others, but living right requires a determination to override negative feelings and focus on treating others with respect.

So, the next time your server at a restaurant brings you a hamburger cooked medium-well instead of the rare you asked for, or a newly licensed teenager rear-ends you at a traffic light, think back to a time when you got yourself into a situation that required a little grace and channel that energy.

Give Back

Anyone who has spent time volunteering can tell you that to give is better than to receive. No matter what stage of life you are in – rich or poor, young or old – opportunities abound in your community to help those in need. Volunteering can be a one-day, one-year, or even one-hour commitment, but its impact is sure to last much longer.

If you have plenty to give but don’t know where to allocate your resources, try searching the VolunteerMatch website. VolunteerMatch allows you to search by location and also by keyword. You can even search for virtual volunteering opportunities! Whether you choose to donate blood, tutor a child, or build a home, giving back to your community is a surefire way to start living right.

Buckling down and living right is not a fast process, but it certainly is a life-changing one. Don’t underestimate the power of your own resolve and the changes you can make in the world. Begin by analyzing your personal code of ethics and finding a purpose in your work, but continue the process by treating others how you would like to be treated and giving back to your community.

In the end, you will find your own life has been changed and the positive ripples that flow outward from your actions will in turn change the lives of others.

Please subscribe to the Slow Down FAST RSS feed:

Bookmark to:

Hide Sites

You’re never too old to learn! Once we graduate from high school, college, or even beyond, many of us never take another class. We may have decided that school is meant for the youth of our culture, and we assume that for the rest of our lives, we’ll only be getting our lessons from the school of hard knocks. While it’s true we learn an awful lot from life experience–that is if we are open to the lessons–there’s every reason to continue learning in school, through books, and now even on the Internet.

The opportunities for learning today are unlimited. However you like to learn, there’s a way to do it. Whatever you want to learn, there’s a place to learn it.

How do you like to learn? Some of the ways include: going to school and taking classes; taking weekend seminars; reading books; listening to audio tapes; working with a coach or mentor; or taking an online class. Can you think of some other ways you like to learn?

What do you want to learn? For business you may want to keep up your learning in your industry; maintain your skill set in your area of expertise; or continue to study business skills if you run a business. For personal interests you might want to hone existing skills like golf or guitar; or you might want to take up a new hobby like ballroom dancing or a foreign language. What would you like to learn now as an adult?

Why should you keep your head in the learning game? Some people are information junkies and others are content with limited data. You might fall somewhere in between. The reason I’m in favor of ongoing learning is that we live in a time where information is more accessible than ever before and technological advances are causing rapid changes in the knowledge base. If you want to keep up with what’s going on in the world, in your personal life, and in your business or work environment, you’ve got to keep your head in the learning game.

If you’re still not sure what you could be learning about at this age and stage of your life, here are 5 areas I would suggest for your ongoing education:

1. Health – Staying healthy today can be somewhat complicated. What foods are best? What exercises can keep you fit? What healing methods are most effective? This kind of information changes on a daily basis. One day red wine is the panacea for all ills, the next day it’s a detriment to your health. One day running is the rage, the next it’s bad for your knees. The only way to keep abreast of the latest on health is to stay informed. Read books, journals, and periodicals; attend seminars, talks, and conferences. Pursue the areas that interest you most whether it’s traditional or alternative medicine.

2. Finances — Lately we have been going through challenging economic times. The better informed you are, the better chance you have of preserving your assets and knowing what to do with your finances now and in the future. Anyone can learn about saving, spending, and investing. There are more books and seminars available on these subjects than you can imagine. Whether you want to learn about starting and running a business, getting a loan or grant, budgeting and tracking your income and expenses, or investing in real estate, stocks, or bonds, someone is teaching this somewhere.

3. Career – If you own your own business or work as an employee, many opportunities present themselves to you for continuing education in your field of expertise. Often employers bring in training companies to keep their employees well trained in their skills and in their industry. Business owners have access to seminars, conferences, and teleclasses to keep up on their area of expertise as well as current business and marketing practices.

4. Relationships — If you’re in an intimate relationship, you and your spouse may enjoy taking classes together that either enhance your relationship or where you can learn something new like a sport or hobby. If you’re looking to build an intimate relationship, plenty of classes are available for singles looking for love in all the right places!

5. Leisure — As I’ve already mentioned, you may want to brush up on an existing skill or take up a new one. As boomers enter retirement, they need to stay active both physically and mentally. Continuing your education is one of the best ways to do this. A client of mine who was bored in retirement took a pottery class at the local adult school and showered his family and friends with his creations–whether or not they wanted them. He’d never done anything artistic in his life but became fairly accomplished at making mugs, vases, and sculptures.

What have you always wanted to learn but never had the time? What’s stopping you now? Keep your head in the learning game, and you’ll never be bored–or boring!

Please subscribe to the Slow Down FAST RSS feed:

Bookmark to:

Hide Sites

~ Aristotle

I was shocked to read a recent study that reported less than 30% of people interviewed said they were deeply happy, and that 25% of Americans and 27% of Europeans claimed they are depressed. As a naturally happy person, I was amazed at how many unhappy people there are. Generally when I work with my coaching clients, they are not unhappy about everything in their life; they usually just have one area they are working on or one challenge to overcome.

So why are so many people unhappy? And why are so many people just going through the motions, appearing to be happy, pretending to be happy, when they’re really not?

The first step in determining if you’re happy or how happy you are is to define happiness. To some, it means doing what they want, having what they want, and being who they want, that is, fulfilling their dreams and desires. To others, it’s a state of mind that is not dependent on the outside world, but more on an inner contentment. And to still others, it’s about being responsible for their choices and accepting responsibility for whatever shows up in their lives, even if it didn’t seem like a conscious choice.

Ultimately, happiness can be defined as an emotional state, a feeling of peace, contentment, well being, joy, and connection. Most people have felt happy at some point in their lives, maybe under certain circumstances. They started a new relationship, won a valuable gift, or reached a worthwhile goal. The secret to continuing and lasting happiness I have found, is in knowing you can CHOOSE to be happy–in any circumstance, for any reason, and for no reason.

Have you ever taken a “time out” to check in with yourself to see if you’re really happy or just going through the motions? You know what I mean. People ask you every day, “Hi. How are you?” and you unconsciously say, “Fine,” when that may not be the case at all. Or you “put on a happy face” at work or with your family, just to “keep the peace,” to avoid conflicts or explanations. Or to avoid looking inside to figure out why you’re not really all that happy–at least not as happy as you appear to be. What I notice with people who are just going through the motions, is that they’ve become disconnected from their feelings. For whatever reason–traumas, upsets, frustrations–they’ve shut down and are walking zombies, the living dead.

Once you’ve shut down your feelings, it will take awareness and desire to reignite them and reconnect to your feelings. So how can you determine if you’re really happy or just going through the motions? And how can you choose more happiness in your life? Here are some ideas that I’ve used successfully with my clients.

1. Define happiness for yourself:

Knowing your own definition of happiness can help you assess your level of happiness. Some people have described happiness as lightness, aliveness, flow, love, passion, gratitude, being present, being responsible, open, accepting, optimistic, free, and connected. Until you establish your own definition, it will be difficult to determine how happy you are.

2. Examine your lifestyle:

Are you doing what you love, living where you want, hanging around people you enjoy? If not, why not? Although happiness starts from within, a lot of people gauge their level of happiness on what satisfactions they receive from the outside world. If you’re not enjoying the work you do five days a week, it’s no wonder you’re not happy! If you hate the city where you live, the house you live in, or your neighbors, you have good cause for unhappiness. And if you’re surrounded by a lot of negative people, that will drain anyone’s ability to be happy. Change the circumstances of your life that you can, so you can start bringing in more reasons to be happy.

3. Check your attitude:

Although the nice things in life bring us happiness, like our home, car, clothing, job, and people, if we have a negative attitude in general, we won’t even find happiness in the things we love. The happiest people are loving, accepting, giving, positive, optimistic, and live in the present rather than the past or future. Happiness is a moment-by-moment choice, which can only be made in the present. And yes, happiness can be a choice. I’ve seen some of my clients turn their attitudes around once they decided they could and they would choose to be happy–regardless of life circumstances. I know that sounds like a big leap, but just know it is possible.

4. Look at your relationships:

Relationships are one of the most common sources for our happiest times. Intimate relationships especially provide us with a deep connection that in most cases allows us to feel loved and appreciated. We can also have satisfying relationships that add to our happiness with our family, friends, associates, pets, and most importantly ourselves. I also notice that people who give to others, especially through charity work, are deeply happy.

5. Set happiness goals:

Are you committed to being happier? Do you want to get to the bottom of why you’re just going through the motions, why you’ve buried your feelings? Then it’s time to take action. Read some books, take some classes, work with a coach, meditate, journal, spend time in contemplation. Create your action plan for building a happier life. It’s your choice!

What Does Happiness Mean to You? 

Explore the possibilities with the Happiness Trilogy from Slow Down Fast. Self-Coaching in electronic format. Includes tons of tips, tricks and exercises designed to help you become the master of your own destiny and orchestrator of your personal well being!

Please subscribe to the Slow Down FAST RSS feed:

Bookmark to:

Hide Sites

Here’s a little history of Charles Schultz and A Charlie Brown Christmas:

Would it surprise you to know that Charles Schultz, the creator of the extremely successful and enduring Peanuts cartoon, battled many of the same disenchantments and struggled with self-confidence as did his comic-strip characters? He did.

Additionally, he stirred controversy with A Charlie Brown Christmas. CBS executives wanted a comedy from Schultz, but he found he couldn’t be true to himself by compromising his message. The network was reluctant to use children for the characters’ voices. Moreover, they didn’t want that religious message.

But Schultz held strong, and Charlie Brown, Lucy, Linus, and Snoopy’s version of Christmas became one of the most popular and dearly loved specials of all time, including today.

The single biggest lesson to be learned from Charles Schultz: Persistence.

PERSISTENCE is defined as continuing despite difficulties, opposition, or discouragement.

• Stick to your intuition even when struggling with opposition and self-doubt.
• Be true to yourself. Don’t comprimise your beliefs.

Happy Holidays to all of you, and Merry Christmas Charlie Brown !!!

Bookmark to:

Hide Sites

Here are the 12 Most-Read Numbered Posts in 2008 at Slow Down FAST:

12.    5 Tips for Becoming a Better Listener
11.    5 Qualities of Successful Relationships
10.    6 Ways for Effecting Change in Your Life
9.      6 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Busting Out of the Rat Race
8.      5 Signs It’s Time to Slow Down Fast
7.      6 Ways to Be a Friend Without Involving Money, Gifts or Obligation
6.      5 Ways to Reconnect to Your Inner Child
5.      10 Great Productivity Web Sites
4.      5 Signs You’re a Pleaser and What to Do About It
3.      5 Simple Tricks To Make You Smarter
2.      8 Essential Ingredients to Master Your Time
1.      The Causes and Cures of Procrastination

Thank you all for your support throughout the year, and best wishes in all your future endeavors.

Bookmark to:

Hide Sites

What, exactly, causes post-holiday blues?  For many, the simple reason is that the day doesn’t fulfill expectations.  Disappointment leads to the big let-down that many of us feel the day after Christmas (or any big event), and the best way to avoid it is simple:  lower your expectations.

Unrealistic expectations can lead to repeated disappointment, but the good news is that “lowering the bar” can reduce, if not eliminate post holiday blues and help you achieve your goals of peace on earth and good will toward men.  Some examples may include:

• If your family has never given you a standing ovation when you present your Christmas feast, the standing rib roast with tinsel on the bones probably won’t bring them to their feet either.
• The touch screen Blackberry will probably not make your sullen teenage daughter wrap her arms around you and say, “I love you Daddy.”
• If Uncle Bob drinks too much every year, he’s probably going to this year.

So, what’s the secret?  For me, it lies in using some self awareness and pinpointing what disappoints me year after year and adjusting my own expectations to meet reality.

I recently realized that my wife doesn’t like getting things that weren’t on her Christmas list.  This “light bulb moment” came after I planned a trip for her and her girlfriend tailored to suit interests I knew she had.  The trip received a lukewarm reception, and she wound up giving the gift away.  Since then, my expectations are much closer to reality.  I get links to websites selling the gifts she wants, I order them, and everyone is happy.

So where do your disappointments lie?  What are the patterns?  Family relationships?  Gift giving?  Gift receiving? Even if your expectations seem reasonable to you, (no food fight at the dinner table), if they consistently aren’t met, then they are, by definition, too high.

If we can stop expecting a perfect Christmas, with perfect food, perfect family, perfect gifts, then we can actually enjoy the day with festive music, good food, and, even, Uncle Bob.

Where have your expectations of the big day not met with reality?  Share your experiences here on the Slow Down FAST blog!

Thanks to Zen Habits for including this post on the Zen Habits Tumblelog.

Please subscribe to the Slow Down FAST RSS feed:               

Bookmark to:

Hide Sites