The 21st-century world can be a dangerous place. The wide reach of the Internet and other technological developments makes people more interconnected than ever before. Though this interconnectedness can oftentimes be a positive thing, it opens the doors for identity thieves, child predators, and scam artists to take advantage of unsuspecting victims.

Furthermore, when news headlines are filled with stories of morally bankrupt business leaders and dishonest politicians, it makes the path to righteousness seem like an uphill battle. However, you can start the climb and hopefully have an effect on others by buckling down and beginning to live right.

Know Your Ten Commandments

The Ten Commandments brought down by Moses from Mount Sinai are often referenced when people cite their personal rules for living. Whether or not you use the Bible as your ethical measuring tape, it is important to have your own code of ethics to live by.

Survey your life and the world around you. What do you believe is right or wrong? Subjects such as abortion and the death penalty are hotly contested moral issues in the public eye, but when it comes to how you live on a daily basis, attempt to formulate guidelines that you feel comfortable with and then put them into action.

Find Your Purpose

If you work full-time, you likely spend over 2,000 hours at your place of employment in one year. Sure, some of those hours are spent eating lunch and chatting with colleagues around the water cooler, but the bulk of your time spent at work is used to contribute to your company’s purpose. When you spend such a huge amount of time on something, isn’t it only natural that you should feel useful in your position?

If you don’t feel fulfilled and like you have a purpose at work, it could be time to seek out a change that will allow you to feel more satisfied. Think of your personal code of ethics and what you value. Do you see these values coming into play in your work week? Having a job that helps you feel constructive and effective in the broader sense of things will certainly help you on your way to living right.

Do Unto Others…

Everyone knows the Golden Rule, “do unto others as you would have others do unto you,” but not everyone lives by it. It’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind and let stress rule your attitude and the way you treat others, but living right requires a determination to override negative feelings and focus on treating others with respect.

So, the next time your server at a restaurant brings you a hamburger cooked medium-well instead of the rare you asked for, or a newly licensed teenager rear-ends you at a traffic light, think back to a time when you got yourself into a situation that required a little grace and channel that energy.

Give Back

Anyone who has spent time volunteering can tell you that to give is better than to receive. No matter what stage of life you are in – rich or poor, young or old – opportunities abound in your community to help those in need. Volunteering can be a one-day, one-year, or even one-hour commitment, but its impact is sure to last much longer.

If you have plenty to give but don’t know where to allocate your resources, try searching the VolunteerMatch website. VolunteerMatch allows you to search by location and also by keyword. You can even search for virtual volunteering opportunities! Whether you choose to donate blood, tutor a child, or build a home, giving back to your community is a surefire way to start living right.

Buckling down and living right is not a fast process, but it certainly is a life-changing one. Don’t underestimate the power of your own resolve and the changes you can make in the world. Begin by analyzing your personal code of ethics and finding a purpose in your work, but continue the process by treating others how you would like to be treated and giving back to your community.

In the end, you will find your own life has been changed and the positive ripples that flow outward from your actions will in turn change the lives of others.

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You’re never too old to learn! Once we graduate from high school, college, or even beyond, many of us never take another class. We may have decided that school is meant for the youth of our culture, and we assume that for the rest of our lives, we’ll only be getting our lessons from the school of hard knocks. While it’s true we learn an awful lot from life experience–that is if we are open to the lessons–there’s every reason to continue learning in school, through books, and now even on the Internet.

The opportunities for learning today are unlimited. However you like to learn, there’s a way to do it. Whatever you want to learn, there’s a place to learn it.

How do you like to learn? Some of the ways include: going to school and taking classes; taking weekend seminars; reading books; listening to audio tapes; working with a coach or mentor; or taking an online class. Can you think of some other ways you like to learn?

What do you want to learn? For business you may want to keep up your learning in your industry; maintain your skill set in your area of expertise; or continue to study business skills if you run a business. For personal interests you might want to hone existing skills like golf or guitar; or you might want to take up a new hobby like ballroom dancing or a foreign language. What would you like to learn now as an adult?

Why should you keep your head in the learning game? Some people are information junkies and others are content with limited data. You might fall somewhere in between. The reason I’m in favor of ongoing learning is that we live in a time where information is more accessible than ever before and technological advances are causing rapid changes in the knowledge base. If you want to keep up with what’s going on in the world, in your personal life, and in your business or work environment, you’ve got to keep your head in the learning game.

If you’re still not sure what you could be learning about at this age and stage of your life, here are 5 areas I would suggest for your ongoing education:

1. Health – Staying healthy today can be somewhat complicated. What foods are best? What exercises can keep you fit? What healing methods are most effective? This kind of information changes on a daily basis. One day red wine is the panacea for all ills, the next day it’s a detriment to your health. One day running is the rage, the next it’s bad for your knees. The only way to keep abreast of the latest on health is to stay informed. Read books, journals, and periodicals; attend seminars, talks, and conferences. Pursue the areas that interest you most whether it’s traditional or alternative medicine.

2. Finances — Lately we have been going through challenging economic times. The better informed you are, the better chance you have of preserving your assets and knowing what to do with your finances now and in the future. Anyone can learn about saving, spending, and investing. There are more books and seminars available on these subjects than you can imagine. Whether you want to learn about starting and running a business, getting a loan or grant, budgeting and tracking your income and expenses, or investing in real estate, stocks, or bonds, someone is teaching this somewhere.

3. Career – If you own your own business or work as an employee, many opportunities present themselves to you for continuing education in your field of expertise. Often employers bring in training companies to keep their employees well trained in their skills and in their industry. Business owners have access to seminars, conferences, and teleclasses to keep up on their area of expertise as well as current business and marketing practices.

4. Relationships — If you’re in an intimate relationship, you and your spouse may enjoy taking classes together that either enhance your relationship or where you can learn something new like a sport or hobby. If you’re looking to build an intimate relationship, plenty of classes are available for singles looking for love in all the right places!

5. Leisure — As I’ve already mentioned, you may want to brush up on an existing skill or take up a new one. As boomers enter retirement, they need to stay active both physically and mentally. Continuing your education is one of the best ways to do this. A client of mine who was bored in retirement took a pottery class at the local adult school and showered his family and friends with his creations–whether or not they wanted them. He’d never done anything artistic in his life but became fairly accomplished at making mugs, vases, and sculptures.

What have you always wanted to learn but never had the time? What’s stopping you now? Keep your head in the learning game, and you’ll never be bored–or boring!

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~ Aristotle

I was shocked to read a recent study that reported less than 30% of people interviewed said they were deeply happy, and that 25% of Americans and 27% of Europeans claimed they are depressed. As a naturally happy person, I was amazed at how many unhappy people there are. Generally when I work with my coaching clients, they are not unhappy about everything in their life; they usually just have one area they are working on or one challenge to overcome.

So why are so many people unhappy? And why are so many people just going through the motions, appearing to be happy, pretending to be happy, when they’re really not?

The first step in determining if you’re happy or how happy you are is to define happiness. To some, it means doing what they want, having what they want, and being who they want, that is, fulfilling their dreams and desires. To others, it’s a state of mind that is not dependent on the outside world, but more on an inner contentment. And to still others, it’s about being responsible for their choices and accepting responsibility for whatever shows up in their lives, even if it didn’t seem like a conscious choice.

Ultimately, happiness can be defined as an emotional state, a feeling of peace, contentment, well being, joy, and connection. Most people have felt happy at some point in their lives, maybe under certain circumstances. They started a new relationship, won a valuable gift, or reached a worthwhile goal. The secret to continuing and lasting happiness I have found, is in knowing you can CHOOSE to be happy–in any circumstance, for any reason, and for no reason.

Have you ever taken a “time out” to check in with yourself to see if you’re really happy or just going through the motions? You know what I mean. People ask you every day, “Hi. How are you?” and you unconsciously say, “Fine,” when that may not be the case at all. Or you “put on a happy face” at work or with your family, just to “keep the peace,” to avoid conflicts or explanations. Or to avoid looking inside to figure out why you’re not really all that happy–at least not as happy as you appear to be. What I notice with people who are just going through the motions, is that they’ve become disconnected from their feelings. For whatever reason–traumas, upsets, frustrations–they’ve shut down and are walking zombies, the living dead.

Once you’ve shut down your feelings, it will take awareness and desire to reignite them and reconnect to your feelings. So how can you determine if you’re really happy or just going through the motions? And how can you choose more happiness in your life? Here are some ideas that I’ve used successfully with my clients.

1. Define happiness for yourself:

Knowing your own definition of happiness can help you assess your level of happiness. Some people have described happiness as lightness, aliveness, flow, love, passion, gratitude, being present, being responsible, open, accepting, optimistic, free, and connected. Until you establish your own definition, it will be difficult to determine how happy you are.

2. Examine your lifestyle:

Are you doing what you love, living where you want, hanging around people you enjoy? If not, why not? Although happiness starts from within, a lot of people gauge their level of happiness on what satisfactions they receive from the outside world. If you’re not enjoying the work you do five days a week, it’s no wonder you’re not happy! If you hate the city where you live, the house you live in, or your neighbors, you have good cause for unhappiness. And if you’re surrounded by a lot of negative people, that will drain anyone’s ability to be happy. Change the circumstances of your life that you can, so you can start bringing in more reasons to be happy.

3. Check your attitude:

Although the nice things in life bring us happiness, like our home, car, clothing, job, and people, if we have a negative attitude in general, we won’t even find happiness in the things we love. The happiest people are loving, accepting, giving, positive, optimistic, and live in the present rather than the past or future. Happiness is a moment-by-moment choice, which can only be made in the present. And yes, happiness can be a choice. I’ve seen some of my clients turn their attitudes around once they decided they could and they would choose to be happy–regardless of life circumstances. I know that sounds like a big leap, but just know it is possible.

4. Look at your relationships:

Relationships are one of the most common sources for our happiest times. Intimate relationships especially provide us with a deep connection that in most cases allows us to feel loved and appreciated. We can also have satisfying relationships that add to our happiness with our family, friends, associates, pets, and most importantly ourselves. I also notice that people who give to others, especially through charity work, are deeply happy.

5. Set happiness goals:

Are you committed to being happier? Do you want to get to the bottom of why you’re just going through the motions, why you’ve buried your feelings? Then it’s time to take action. Read some books, take some classes, work with a coach, meditate, journal, spend time in contemplation. Create your action plan for building a happier life. It’s your choice!

What Does Happiness Mean to You? 

Explore the possibilities with the Happiness Trilogy from Slow Down Fast. Self-Coaching in electronic format. Includes tons of tips, tricks and exercises designed to help you become the master of your own destiny and orchestrator of your personal well being!

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Here are the 12 Most-Read Numbered Posts in 2008 at Slow Down FAST:

12.    5 Tips for Becoming a Better Listener
11.    5 Qualities of Successful Relationships
10.    6 Ways for Effecting Change in Your Life
9.      6 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Busting Out of the Rat Race
8.      5 Signs It’s Time to Slow Down Fast
7.      6 Ways to Be a Friend Without Involving Money, Gifts or Obligation
6.      5 Ways to Reconnect to Your Inner Child
5.      10 Great Productivity Web Sites
4.      5 Signs You’re a Pleaser and What to Do About It
3.      5 Simple Tricks To Make You Smarter
2.      8 Essential Ingredients to Master Your Time
1.      The Causes and Cures of Procrastination

Thank you all for your support throughout the year, and best wishes in all your future endeavors.

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So, after 700+ posts in 2008, I’m publishing the 12 Most Read Posts at Slow Down FAST so we can all get a jump on the new year.

Thank you all for your support throughout the year.

Here they are:

1. The Causes and Cures of Procrastination
2. Mindhacks: 5 Ways to Increase Creativity, Productivity and Intelligence
3. How to Overcome the #1 Fear: Public Speaking
4. 8 Essential Ingredients to Master Your Time
5. Do Not Wage Psychological Warfare
6. Stuck in a Rut? Fire Up Your Creativity with These 7 Steps
7. What Are You Passionate About?
8. See How Easily You Can Handle Change
9. How to Maintain Professional Boundaries
10. 5 Simple Tricks To Make You Smarter
11. 5 Signs You’re a Pleaser and What to Do About It
12. From Greedy to Grateful – Appreciating What You Have

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Are you aware that you are at choice in every area of your life?

When I ask that question of my personal coaching clients they sometimes get very quiet, then say, “No. I don’t feel like I make all my own choices.” That’s a very common response. Many people feel like other people make choices for them, dictate what they “should” do, how they should do it, when they should do it, what they should eat, what they should wear, etc.

It begins, of course, with our parents. Until we’re at an age where they can trust us to make our own, correct decisions, they make our choices for us. If they were controlling, over-protective parents, they may not have instilled in us the opportunity to develop our ability to make our own wise decisions. Thus, we may have grown into adults still looking to others to choose our life situations. Or they may have taught us how to choose and take responsibility for our choices and we became confident, self-assured adults.

After parents, we had our teachers make choices for us. They taught us what and how to think, and hopefully the better teachers, taught us how to think for ourselves. During school peer pressure was at its height, so we dressed like our friends or the most popular kids in school, we hung out where the crowds hung out, and if we succumbed to peer pressure we may have taken up smoking or even worse!

As adults, we’re constantly bombarded with society’s messages through the media. TV, newspapers, and magazines shout at us to buy this product, eat or drink this, wear this, do that. It’s no wonder so many of us forget we have the ability to choose for ourselves. It’s just that we’ve forgotten how because so many others have been doing it for us for so long.

If you are ready to say “YES” to personal choice, great! It’s time to sit down and take an honest look at your life and see what areas are working for you, and what areas are ones that you have chosen and are happy with. And then look and see where you are living someone else’s choices–maybe for your work, your home, your lifestyle. You may still be living your parent’s choices, or your spouse’s choices, or your community’s.

If you are ready to say “YES” to personal choice, here are some actions you can take:

1. KNOW that you have free will and personal choice.

Yes, we all have free will and we can all make our own choices. If this is something new for you, it may take a while to get used to it. If you live in an oppressive environment, perhaps with a spouse who “tries” to make your choices, you will have more of a challenge breaking free. But as you come to believe this, begin with small choices. Notice when you eat something, or do something, or go somewhere and it’s not your choice. Ask yourself, “What would be my choice in this situation?” Then order the meal YOU want to eat, or choose the movie YOU want to see, and notice how that feels. As you practice making your own choices, you will get better at it and feel more comfortable.

2. GIVE UP victimhood and become the victor.

If you have been playing victim for years, under the thumb of a controlling parent or spouse or other, it’s time to break free. Your first step is to acknowledge your situation, then make a decision that you will no longer put up with it. You may choose to work with a life coach who can help you make new choices on your own. No one should ever stay in the victim role when through personal choice you can switch your role to victor.

3. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for everything in your life.

If you’ve always thought others were responsible for your life, you can change that belief. We are all responsible for our lives, for our choices, for our results–for everything. You are even responsible for giving up responsibility and turning it over to another person. You may have felt that abdicating responsibility felt safer because being responsible is too much power and not everyone wants that. But it’s also a place of great freedom. You no longer have to blame others for your circumstances–you are free to choose your own. When you take responsibility for everything in your life, if you don’t like the outcome, you can change the choices you made and create a different outcome.

4. TAKE RISKS, step outside all that’s safe and familiar.

When you say YES to personal choice, you can exercise your freedom to say and do and be and have whatever you want. If you’ve always eaten spaghetti and meatballs at an Italian restaurant, next time try lasagna or eggplant parmesan. If you’ve always vacationed at your time share in Hawaii, next year go to Paris. As you step more and more into personal choice and get comfortable with it, test yourself by doing new, exciting things with your life.

5. MONITOR YOUR THOUGHTS, they are your power of creation.

Personal choice begins with knowing yourself, knowing what you like, who you are. If you’ve never been introspective, start to listen to your thoughts. Take five minutes every day and sit quietly and listen. Ask yourself questions and listen for the answers. Write in a journal. As you get more comfortable listening to your inner dialogue, keep your thoughts positive and supportive. As you step into your power and exercise your personal choice, your positive thoughts will support you in creating positive outcomes.

Enjoy your life to the fullest as you say YES to personal choice.

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When Halloween candy hits the shelves before Labor Day and animatronic Santas are ho-ho-ho-ing at you before you’ve even had a chance to carve your Thanksgiving turkey, it’s hard not to feel rushed through the holiday season. However, difficult as it may be to pause and reflect on the meaning of the holidays, it is certainly beneficial.

If you feel like the time between Halloween and Christmas is nothing more than a blur before your eyes, try a few of these tips to slow down and enjoy your holidays this year.

Edit Out the Non-Essentials

So many holiday traditions and customs nowadays are done more so out of a feeling of obligation than a meaningful sentiment. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed with the amount of items you must complete in time for the holidays, it may be time to step back and ask yourself what is truly significant and what is simply holiday fluff. If you and your family don’t genuinely enjoy the two hours spent watching It’s a Wonderful Life, why bother watching it only out of tradition? Why not use that time to do something more productive and, hopefully, more enjoyable? Look at your holiday plans with a critical eye and try to eliminate anything that isn’t meaningful or necessary. Editing a few items from your to-do list will allow you to legitimately enjoy the items you do choose to include.

Share the Responsibilities

Unfortunately, holiday meals don’t prepare themselves, presents don’t come pre-wrapped, and the angel doesn’t climb to the top of the tree on its own. It takes a lot of time and effort behind the scenes to end up with the “ideal” holiday festivities. Attempting to do all of this work on your own can be stressful to say the least and maybe even impossible. This year, instead of running around like a gingerbread man with his head cut off, dole out some of the responsibilities to others. Take advantage of the free gift-wrapping service at department stores. Try hosting a potluck dinner instead of cooking everything on your own. Sharing the holiday responsibilities will allow you to avoid rushing through the season with the sole purpose of checking things off of your to-do list.

Take a “Staycation”

“Staycations,” or vacations where you stay at home, have become popular in the past few years due to the rising costs of travel. Not only will a staycation save you money, but it will allow you the time to spend on your holiday obligations and find time for some holiday fun, as well. Balancing work and personal time around the holidays can be especially difficult because you may feel pressured to earn extra money to make up for the additional expenses at this time of year. Still, you may want to analyze whether it would be more reasonable to cut back on a few expenditures and limit your hours in the workplace simultaneously. Holidays are a time to be spent with family and friends, not to feel bogged down with duties and deadlines. A staycation may be just what you need to allow yourself time to relax and savor the holiday moments.

This winter, whether you celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, or Kwanzaa, don’t forget to slow down and enjoy the celebration. Rushing through the holidays will only leave you going through the motions without having time to truly take pleasure in all of the festivities. To avoid having the holidays breeze by faster than a speeding bullet, try editing your to-do list, sharing some of your responsibilities, and taking a stay-at-home vacation if you can. Surely you won’t regret it.

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Baste the turkey? Check. Craft a cornucopia centerpiece Martha Stewart would be proud of… check. Buy an extra place setting for Aunt Flo’s new fling. Check.

Your Thanksgiving to-do list may be complete in your eyes, but have you forgotten the purpose of the holiday in all the excitement and hubbub? This Thanksgiving, don’t lose sight of the deeper meaning behind your 20-person, eat-till-you-drop get-together: gratitude.

Whether you’re a first-time Thanksgiving host or you’ve been serving up white and dark meat for years, it’s easy to get carried away in the details lose sight of the true spirit of the day. But don’t forget that especially during the holidays, it’s important to slow down. Take time to stop and smell the pie – and be thankful for that wonderful aroma!

Slowing down at Thanksgiving means stopping to reflect upon all that life has bestowed upon you! Why not start a Thanksgiving tradition of gratitude? It can be as simple as going around the table and sharing what each person is thankful for — or taking a moment to read a special poem aloud around the dessert table.

Incorporate a meaningful routine into the peripheral hustle and bustle of the holiday. And if your creativity has already been tapped out on your other Thanksgiving projects, don’t feel the need to think of something on your own. There are many Internet resources with simple and significant ideas that can be tailored to your family’s personality. Try this website from FamilyFun.com for starters.

Lastly, if you’re having difficulty coming up with something seemingly worthy of your Thanksgiving thankfulness, make a resolution for the year to come. Work on being grateful on a daily basis for the little things in your life.

Thanksgiving doesn’t require a momentous event to attribute your appreciation to. If you try, you will find many small but precious blessings in even the most ordinary of days. Why not make a pact this Thanksgiving, to journal positive things that you are thankful for each day? By the time next Thanksgiving comes around, you will surely have a great memory book of reasons to be thankful.

Our consumerist culture often tempts us to stray from the deeper meaning behind the holiday season. If you find yourself going through the holidays on autopilot without pausing to realize their importance, try consciously slowing down. Then, do what you can to carry on the spirit of Thanksgiving year-round, being grateful each day for all that you have been given.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your loved ones from everyone at SlowDownFast.com!

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Maybe you have a talent that you are offering as a service to clients such as massage, consulting, or financial planning. Or maybe your business is selling a product like clothing, wines, or information products. Whatever your plan involves–services or products–managing your own business takes certain skills beyond the specialized knowledge that makes you good at what you do.

If you don’t learn the skills of running and managing your business, you may find yourself experiencing some of these common pitfalls. If you do experience them, acknowledge where you are, then take measures to overcome them.

 Common Pitfalls of Managing Your Own Business:

1. Not having a business plan and a marketing plan.

A business plan is a roadmap for success and a marketing plan is a schematic for every day marketing activities. Many entrepreneurs believe they can get away without a business plan if they’re not seeking outside funding, but business plans are not just for investors. They guide you to where you want to go in your business. If you don’t have a plan, find a business consultant or SCORE counselor to help you write one. You can work with a marketing consultant or SCORE counselor to develop quarterly marketing plans to track what marketing activities give you the greatest results.

2. Not doing financial projections and monthly reports.

Most business owners are only concerned with how much money is coming in. But that’s only gross profit, and your business success is based on net profit–how much is left after expenses. A major pitfall of business owners is not doing financial projections. You need to chart out for one year what income you expect and your estimated expenses, both fixed and variable. Use an Excel spreadsheet or have your accountant do it in QuickBooks. When they run your monthly profit and loss statement, make sure they explain what the numbers mean. You must know your bottom line each month to manage your business successfully.

3. Not having enough capital or reserves.

Some businesses need an infusion of capital when they start out. You may need to borrow funds for renting your location, purchasing inventory, or outfitting your office. If you were unable to borrow, you might have gotten personal loans or you started on a shoestring. With little capital, you probably don’t have much in reserve. Business advisors suggest having at least six month’s to a year’s worth of expenses in the bank. This pitfall causes the demise of many businesses. Build up your reserves whenever you have any surplus.

4. Not being knowledgeable in your field or about business.

Do you have formal training in your industry? Have you studied how to run a business? Not having enough knowledge, skill, or training in your specialty or in business is a major pitfall. How will you compete against more skilled practitioners? How will you know the best quality products to buy and the best prices? You can open a business and then get more training and education as you go along, because ongoing training will keep your skills sharp and current. And you’ll want to get educated in all the nuances of managing a business from financials, to customer service, to employee relations, and more.

5. Not checking the competition or staying current with industry trends.

You can’t ignore the competition or pretend you don’t have any. It’s not spying, but you must know who your competition is and what they are up to. Can you provide better, faster, or a different service? Can you offer deeper discounts, better quality, or follow-up support? Find out what your competition is doing and offer something more. Read industry journals and stay current with what is going on in your industry. You have to be the best to stay on top, and it only takes a little time each week to do your homework.

6. Not tracking, measuring, following up, or following through.

How can you know how successful you are if you don’t track your results? Did this marketing campaign attract more visitors to my website? If not, what can I do to improve my results? Learn how to track and measure your business and marketing activities. Also, make sure you follow up and follow through. If you send out postcards and offer a free 30-minute consultation, make sure you provide it to those who respond. If you advertise an open house for client appreciation day, follow through and hold the event. Clients and prospects will lose faith in you if you don’t keep your word.

7. Poor customer service.

Have you heard the expression, the customer is always right? I have some coaching clients who run retail operations and they say that they train their staff to give 110% when it comes to customer service. Satisfied customers provide additional revenue in the form of return business and referrals. However, dissatisfied customers can do a lot of damage by spreading the word about your poor service. See the long-term value of happy customers and do everything in your power to make this a top priority. Without customers, you have no revenue!!!

8. Burnout from overworking and doing everything yourself.

Enthusiastic entrepreneurs wear a big “S” on their chests thinking they are Super Business Owner! I can do everything myself. If I want it done right, I have to do it. That works fine until you find yourself getting about five hours of sleep a night and making errors during the work day. Start looking at what you can delegate and find top quality, affordable contractors or employees to take some of the load off. After all, all work and no play makes for a very unhappy business owner. If you’re so stressed out, how can you enjoy the fruits of your labor?

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“I finally learned that you cannot help people unless they really need help, are willing to be helped, want you to help them and ask you to help them. Even then, you can only help them to help themselves.” ~ Vincent Collins

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