We are told to strive for unattainable lifestyles and to model ourselves after unrealistic, airbrushed models.

Sometimes you need to step back from this virtual reality and ponder what life is really about. Will that Mercedes or those anti-anxiety medications really make you happier, or are they only temporary solutions to deeper issues? Examine these five myths about how you should be living your life and start living the way you want to live.

Myth 1: Material Things Prove Your Worth

Someone once said, “One reason it’s so hard to save money is that our neighbors are always buying something we can’t afford.” Keeping up with the Joneses is certainly no way to live, and the desire to do so stems from a belief that material things prove your worth. Extravagant clothing, houses, and cars oftentimes serve as status symbols in today’s society, but when it comes down to it, what you have in your heart and mind is worth much more than what you’ve got in your wallet. Furthermore, comparing yourself financially to your friends and family will only cause envy and strife. Remember that while luxuries may be enjoyable, they don’t make you who you are.

Myth 2: You Should Always Take an Expert’s Opinion at Face Value

How many times have you taken your car in for a simple oil change, only to be told you need hundreds of dollars worth of repairs in other areas? Have you taken the mechanic’s word for it and shelled out the cash or gone in for a second opinion elsewhere? We tend to rely on experts for advice, whether they are doctors, lawyers, financial consultants, or repairmen, but you can’t forget that even though they are experts, they still don’t know everything. You always retain the power to do your own research or seek out another form of advice. You may find that separate individuals offer different yet complementary opinions that allow you to shape a more informed decision on the issue you are having.

Myth 3: When in Doubt, Medicate

It’s hard to make it through a 2-minute commercial break without seeing an advertisement for some sort of prescription drug. The prescription drug industry has exploded in the past decade, and Zoloft, Prozac, and Ritalin are now part of most Americans’ vocabulary. While there is something to be said for the positive benefits medications have to offer, they are certainly not quick fix on the road to happiness. Before asking your doctor about the latest mood-altering drug you saw on television or in a magazine, consider seeking therapy and using self-improvement strategies to alter your moods instead. Even if prescription drugs are a feasible option for your treatment plan, it’s important to remember that they are not a cure-all. Healing takes time and a repertoire of varying strategies in order to truly come about.

Myth 4: It’s Hip to Be Forever Young

The world today is filled with Peter Pans – adults who don’t want to grow up. Whether they are lacking in emotional maturity or in wrinkles, growing old has become a faux pas for a lot of people. Don’t get the wrong idea. It’s great to feel young at heart and to be physically fit, but it’s possible to do so and still age gracefully. Aging with class involves learning from your past. What’s the point of a life long-lived if you want to act like a child and look like one, too? Gray hair, laugh lines, and a cultivated point of view are things to be embraced, not shunned.

Myth 5: You Can Do It All

Society tends to tell us that multitasking and the ability to juggle lots of things at once is a good thing, but when you have too many things in the air, something is bound to get dropped. Ambition is a good thing, but you have to know when enough is enough. Yes, it’s possible to be a wife, a mother, a businesswoman, and the best baker at the church bazaar, but it’s also okay to say no when your best friend asks you to help her plan a charity gala. When you take on more than you can handle, the quality of your projects often suffers. Don’t feel pressured to be a yes-man. Even the best of us can’t do it all.

There are so many self-improvement blogs, magazines, and websites out there these days, everyone has an opinion on the way you should be living your life. It’s important not to focus on the myths flooding the media but to analyze your situations carefully and live the way that is right for you.

NEWSFLASH: I’ve added another chapter to my life by joining C.A.S.T. Recovery, a Los Angeles based national outpatient drug rehab program which specializes in designing highly individualized recovery plans with appropriate professionals to support a client’s health, accountability, and success.

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Suppose someone hands you a five-pound box of paper and tells you that it’s part of a project that’s due next week!

Or what about if you’re creating a business model for your own company – that’s a pretty voluminous project.

Here are some must-have tips for streamlining the work so that things get done right and move forward according to schedule.

Create a plan

A house builder doesn’t just show up at the site and start building. He works closely with an architect, creating blueprints–a plan on how the structure will be created and built. The same holds true for any type of project you’re working on. You need to have a big picture view of the project and then sit down and plan out how you’re going to get from start to finish.

While planning may seem like an extra step when you can just get right to it, it can actually save you a lot of time and mistakes in the long run, making it faster to get from start to finish than if you just wing it as you go along.

Form a team

Teamwork is an ideal way to streamline a project — in fact, many small business owners form teams of freelance professionals to churn out work faster, please clients with their expertise, and pull in more profit in less time.

Each team member should bring something unique to the table, so assign tasks that utilize these talents. Not only will you get the task completed quicker, but you’ll get it done effectively because you’ll have the best people working on what they do best. If you’ve ever attempted to “do it all alone,” you know how disconcerting that can be, not to mention what a time and energy drainer. When you form a team, even if you’re paying money to those people, you’re giving yourself back the gift of time and energy to focus on other important things.

Create a timeline

While a plan lists out the tasks required to get the project done, a timeline adds deadlines to the tasks. Creating a timeline lets everyone know when each task has to be completed, and also gives a sense of cooperation – because you’re depending on another person’s expedience before you can move forward with your portion of the work. Timelines also helps to eliminate procrastination. If everyone involved strives to meet the deadlines, the project begins to take on momentum and a sense of accomplishment – while fuels expedience even more!

Create procedures

Now that you know where you’re going with the project (plan) and when you need to get there, you’ve got to figure out how this will be pulled off. Will you automate certain parts of this by utilizing the appropriate computer programs? Will you outsource to other people who can offer part-time help for less than you would have paid a full-timer? What about communication – is it worth mapping out explicit instructions for people to follow, so that each person takes the shortest distance to success?

Each time you tap into another productive solution, document it and turn it into instructions that other members of the team can use to help move things along. By creating procedures, you’re creating the directions, the road map if you will, on how to get from one task to the next, finally bringing the project to completion. Also – if someone else brings a new idea to the table on how to get something done even faster or more efficiently – hear them out. Procedures should be adhered to, but also offer some flexibility. After all, you want to do what truly works, not what you think will work! This is how great companies continue to innovate new solutions every day!

Keep track of the progress

It’s not enough to just create a plan and run with it. It also streamlines the process if you keep track of how the project’s progressing. As a task is completed, check it off or highlight it before moving on to the next task. If the group reaches a milestone, pump in some fresh energy with a little celebrating and some kudos all around – this keeps spirits fresh and motivation levels high.

If a deadline is looming, make sure that everyone working on the project is reminded of what has to be completed and when — this way, there can be no excuses or oversights. If deadlines are being missed, try to figure out why so that the problem can be corrected and avoided as you move along. Don’t forget to document your solution as part of the procedure or “order of operations.”

Have a back-up plan

Even the perfect plans run into snags, so make sure you have a back-up plan in place. During the planning process, try to anticipate problems or issues that may come up during the project and prepare for how you’ll deal with these snags.

In order to streamline a project, you’ve got to take control. Plan before you jump in with both feet. Form a team and assign tasks to various people to get the job done faster and more effectively. Set deadlines and stick to them. Figure out how you’re going to carry the plan out. In case something goes wrong, make sure you have a back-up plan in place. If you do these six things, you’ll be well on your way to seeing your project finished a lot faster than if you muddle through it as you go.

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While this is not true of all work environments, there are some people in your professional crowd that you definitely want to avoid. Learn the traits of these professional piranhas, and stay out of their treacherous pond at work, so you don’t get eaten alive and watch your career go down in flames.

Idea Thief

The idea thief is the one who takes your great ideas and somehow turns them into his or her own great ideas. He recognizes a good idea when he swipes one, and runs straight to the powers that be to sell them on his grand plan before the creator gets a whiff of what just happened.

How to Deal With Him:

Whatever you do, don’t sell yourself short! Never give away your great ideas for free. Make sure you share them with the appropriate person and not someone who has the opportunity to use your own information against you. Once you identify who the credibility crook is, steer clear!

If you’re forced into a situation where you must work directly with an idea thief, be protective and proactive. Share your work with your boss before the idea thief gets his dirty little paws on it. If you’re brainstorming on email, be sure to CC your boss on all original work created by you. This way, the idea thief will get the hint, and go sponge off someone else’s smarts!

Slacker Steve

These are the workers that sit on a committee or a team, but don’t contribute anything to the project or job task. A group project is the ideal situation for this person, because the rest of the team that has to pick up the slack of Slacker Steve if they want to get the job done. And the worse part is that the slacker gets just as much credit for completing the job task as all of the people who actually worked!

How to Deal with Him:

Nobody likes to be the office tattletale, but if you get stuck bearing the burden of a tough project with only Slacker Steve to offer assistance, take the matter to someone higher up on the food chain. Explain that you feel more comfortable working independently, or perhaps you’d be better paired with someone else in the group who matches your level of industriousness. If that doesn’t work, come right and say that you don’t feel like Steve is pulling his weight. In general, slackers make things draining and frustrating for the rest of us, so stay clear of working with with these toads if you can!

The Control Freak

Next, you have those in the crowd who have to control everything. From what time the meeting is scheduled to assigning tasks to nitpicking the grammar and then changing it back again, the control freak has to have their hands on all aspects of the task at hand. Even when they assign the tasks to a group, the work is never as good as if they had done it themselves, so they end up doing your work for you, or redoing work you’ve already done.

How to Deal With Him:

You have one of two choices when stuck working with the Control Freak. One, you can take a passive role in the project and simply let him micro-manage you. However, this tends to come back and bite you, because if the Control Freak gets out of control, you’ll likely be the one blamed for whatever he messed up. Another option is to somehow finagle a situation where the control freak becomes so engrossed in whatever he’s doing that he can’t possibly have time to pick on your work.

Or, there is always option three, which is to direct his attention to a lesser individual in the group – someone with less experience, who is more likely to actually NEED his constant instructions. In general though, being in the driver’s seat is the control freak’s power feeder, so don’t add fuel to the fire.

Debbie Downer

The power of positive thinking works. If you surround yourself with positive people and have a positive attitude of your own, you’ll go a lot farther than if you hang with a crowd of Negative Nellies. Unfortunately there is always the Debbie or Nellie of the crowd… the one who, if there’s an open parking spot close to the building, will complain that now everyone can watch her as she eats lunch in her car. You all got bonuses, but according to Debbie Downer, it’s not enough… you know the type I refer to! If you get wrapped up in her negativity, she’s going to drag you down.

How to Deal With Her:

If you find yourself stuck under the same raincloud, bring an umbrella! Or, I should say a pair of earphones. Listening to music while working is a great way to drone out the Debbie Downers of the world. Also, make it known (in a polite way of course) that you do not share her pessimistic attitude.

Keep your mind focused on the good things. Use that energy to motivate the rest of the team. Or, at the very least… if Debbie Downer criticizes a certain aspect of work that’s fixable… why not take her advice and work toward improvement! Keep it up, and who knows… you might even get a pay raise for your effort.

Bootlicker Bob

Bootlicker Bob only cares about himself and his success, so he’ll do anything to get ahead. Also known as brownnosers, bootlickers focus all of their energy on making themselves look good and their colleagues look bad. They’re usually the ones trailing the boss, answering to his or her every whim.

How to Deal With Him:

Bootlicker Bob is probably the least harmful out of all the workplace weasles you may encounter. He’s annoying more than anything else – so find ways to avoid him and/or drown him out. If you see that Bootlicker Bob’s sucking up has outed you from a few opportunities to be noticed for your good work, then be the squeaky wheel and make some (positive) noise of your own. If he’s a snitch, keep your nose clean and document everything you do. It’s a good practice to get into anyway, regardless of whether there’s a brownnoser sniffing about.

Backstabber Betty

Similar to bootlickers, backstabbers will do anything it takes to get ahead. They’ll throw you and other colleagues under the bus in a heartbeat, if it means getting that promotion, earning the boss’s praise, or snagging that pay raise.

How to Deal with Her:

Avoid backstabbers like the plague and you’ll avoid becoming one of their casualties in the workplace. Also, play your cards close to the vest, just as you would with the Idea Thief. Keep communication reserved for you and your boss, and try to pair up on projects with someone else, who won’t try to take your credit or steal your thunder. Again, ask if you can go it solo for certain tasks – it will certainly allow you to prove your own competence without old Betty knifing you when you’re not looking, just so she can claw her way to the top!

At work, you have to deal with a lot of different types of people. While there are many good folks that you probably enjoy working with, others can be toxic to you and your career. Stay clear of these six types and you’re sure to soar ahead without any workplace drama.

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One-liners are often meaningful and memorable, but what about the context they were taken from? While it’s great to be remembered for snippets of brilliant conversation, it’s better to be memorable for being a great conversationalist as a whole.

If you’d like to heighten the value of your conversations, here are some tips to consider.

Think Before You Speak

People often have a tendency to blurt out whatever pops into their minds before thinking about the impact it may have on their conversational audience. While flashes of genius may occur occasionally, it’s more likely that a well-thought-out comment will have a greater impact.

Furthermore, when you allow yourself to air your thoughts without consideration to who you’re speaking to or how it may affect them, you can end up saying things you may regret later on, whether it be hurtful comments or simply viewpoints you are not prepared to defend. Instead, take the time during your conversations to carefully consider your remarks. You will find that not only do you become more a memorable speaker, but you won’t have to spend time backpedaling later on comments you didn’t mean.

Know Your Audience

What do you think would be more memorable to a stay-at-home parent – a talk about healthy cooking and recipes for families on a budget or a discussion on the facts and fiction of high-fructose corn syrup? While both topics may contain beneficial knowledge, the former is more likely to keep a parent’s attention and interest because it relates more directly to things a parent may be experiencing.

The point is, to be memorable, you must know who you’re talking to and what will stay with them after the conversation is finished. Whether you are giving an informal lecture to a group of college students or meeting for coffee with your neighbor, being memorable in conversation is all about relating to your audience and talking about things that are of importance to them.

Listen

Contrary to what you may think, memorable conversations do not have to be one-sided. If your conversations become more like soliloquies, the person or people you are speaking to are more likely to tune you out. Great discussions require an even (or close to it) share of the speaking time. That means you need to listen as much as you talk.

When you feel strongly about a subject, it may be hard to take the time to hear what another person is saying, but doing so will allow you to analyze their point of view and respond accordingly, rather than having a one-track mind. If your partner in conversation feels like you acknowledge and understand his perspective, he is also more likely to attribute value to your statements.

Be Sincere

Last but most certainly not least, you absolutely have to be sincere about your topics of conversation in order to be memorable. People are perceptive, and they will know if you are faking it. Conversely, however, they will also know if you are truly passionate and genuine in what you are saying. Everyone appreciates earnest conversation, and they will be more likely to let what you are saying sink in and affect them if they believe you mean it.

Becoming a memorable conversationalist is not difficult, but it does take thought and consideration. Always think about the impact of your statements before they come out of your mouth, and try to know what matters to your listeners so that you can converse about topics that relate to their interests.

Furthermore, be a listener yourself. Don’t allow your knowledge on a subject or fervent feelings about it to overshadow the thoughts and opinions of others. And lastly, always be sincere when you speak. Try these tips and you never know – you just may find your words of wisdom next to those of Eleanor Roosevelt or Albert Einstein on Bartleby.com!

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The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a leader as “a person who has commanding authority or influence.” Though this definition leaves room for leaders who influence their followers in a negative manner, such as Adolf Hitler, there are many leaders who have changed the world for good. In taking a page from the book of these modern-day leaders for positive change, you can improve upon your own life.

Oprah Winfrey

Oprah’s rags-to-riches rise to fame is a well-known story, especially since she has been noted as the most influential woman in the world. However, despite the fact that she can afford the best of the best, Oprah has remained true to her humble roots. Being at the head of a media empire as large as hers has subjected her to criticism and mocking, whether aimed at her weight, her romantic life, or her choice of reading material, but Oprah has found a way to succeed in spite of the naysayers. Through all of her ups and downs in the public eye, Oprah has upheld her own values and done things the way she believed was right. Take a tip from Oprah and follow your gut. It doesn’t mean you will be without hardships or criticisms, but when you do achieve something great, you’ll know it was because you stayed true to yourself.

Martin Luther King Jr.

Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech is one of the most quoted and most recognized speeches in all of history. At the time in American history when Martin Luther King Jr. spoke his famous words, the climate was tense and racially charged. Yet somehow, Dr. King remained a dreamer. He did not give up hope that one day his mission would be accomplished. Though his life met a tragic and early end, Dr. King should inspire you to dare to dream. When you allow yourself to have hope for the future, you never know when your dreams will come true.

Bono

It may be trendy to go by a one-word name, but Bono has done much more for the world than just following in the footsteps of Cher or Madonna. He is known as one of the world’s most prominent philanthropists and is often seen singing at benefit shows or acting as a spokesperson for charitable organizations. The lesson to learn from Bono is an obvious one – remember those less fortunate than you. Whether you have been blessed with unfathomable riches or you barely earn more than minimum wage, everyone can find something to give back to the global community. You’ll find that not only are you changing the lives of others when you give your time or money, but you’re also bettering yourself.

Al Gore

Al Gore has come a long way since losing the 2000 presidential election by a narrow margin. Whether you are a Republican, Democrat, or Libertarian, you have to acknowledge that for someone to spend the amount of time as is required to run for President of the United States and then lose in such a closely contended race as Mr. Gore, the result must be devastating. However, in the year 2008, the tides have turned. Al Gore is now a Nobel Prize winner and a well-known advocate for the fight against global warming. After his loss in the presidential race, he regrouped and found a way to follow his passion. In the same way, when you experience a disappointment in life, don’t give up. Use your setback to reevaluate your goals and find opportunities for future successes.

Bill Gates

A lot can be said about Bill Gates’ accomplishments as a businessman and a philanthropist. He is the richest American and one of the most well-known entrepreneurs ever. However, as much as Mr. Gates’ fame and fortune have brought him, he chose to step down as chief executive officer of Microsoft in 2000. You’d think it would be easy to become a workaholic when your company is as successful as his, but Bill Gates chose to pass on his obligations as a full-time Microsoft leader and pursue other opportunities. Similarly, even if you don’t have the luxury to retire early, make sure to maintain a balance between your work life and your personal life. No matter how successful you are in your career, you won’t be able to keep up “all work and no play” forever.

New leaders emerge each and every day in the world. They come from different walks of life and can teach you different lessons about how to succeed. The leaders in this article have been successful in their endeavors to change the world. By learning from the way they live their lives, you too can become a mover and a shaker.

Find Your True Calling and Be Happy.

David Bohl is offering The Happiness Trilogy as an alternative to personal coaching. Three self-improvement guides, packaged together at one low price. Includes “Your Life in Balance,” “The Goal Book,” and “Your Personal Mission Statement.” Learn more and order today!

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Maybe it’s not your biological clock that’s keeping the Sandman away. It could be that elements of your life that are in disarray. Check out these six tips for sleeping better if you’re one of the millions of Americans that tosses and turns at bedtime each night.

Know Where You’re Going

The future is always uncertain, but setting goals makes the unknown a bit more tangible. When you have goals to progressively work toward achieving, you then have a map directing you to where you want to be. Although unexpected challenges and bumps in the road are certain to arise, you will sleep better at night knowing that you have a plan.

Bend a Little

Since life is unpredictable, being able to react with flexibility and open-mindedness when a curveball is thrown your way is essential to living — and sleeping — well. Having a plan is necessary, but you can’t react with shock and awe when things don’t go as you expected. Build room into your goals for unforeseen challenges and your worries will no longer be able to keep you up at night.

Make Sound Decisions

You’ve heard of buyer’s remorse – the guilt a consumer feels when he purchases something he later regrets. The truth is, any kind of remorse, buyer’s or otherwise, can affect your sleep patterns. When you feel guilty about a decision you made during waking hours, that decision will certainly haunt you when you lay your head down to sleep. That is why it is important to make sound decisions based on solid logic and reasoning. Impulsive actions are often the ones that cause the most grief, so you should avoid making large leaps on the spur of the moment. Though it is impossible to predict the results of every action, if you take care to think things through before acting, you can feel secure in knowing you did everything possible to ensure a positive outcome.

Don’t Fret About Finances

Money is one of the most stressed-over subjects among career-minded adults, but, as Cyndi Lauper sang, “money isn’t everything.” Being smart about how you manage your money, including knowing when to say enough is enough, is a great way to schedule some surefire z’s. Whether you have the luxury of working only part-time, or whether you must work a 50-hour week to pay the bills, you have to be at peace with what’s in your wallet at the end of the day. Maybe you can’t put a down payment on the house of your dreams just yet, but with diligence and some spending smarts, you might achieve that goal in a year’s time. Meanwhile, don’t let your bank account balance dictate the amount of rest you get.

Cut Out the Drama

There’s a reason Hollywood drama queens need professional makeup artists – to cover up the dark circles under their eyes that result from getting no sleep! High-drama celebrities might be able to last on four hours of sleep per night, but if drama in your life is allowing you only twenty instead of forty winks, it may be time to ask what all the fuss is about. There’s no denying that drama can be exciting, but it is also mentally draining. Seek out the source of your dramatic vibes and seriously consider whether it’s worth keeping in your life.

Put Off Today What Can Wait Until Tomorrow

Fact: There are only 24 hours in a day. If you attempt to spend 20 of those hours being productive or even worrying about how you weren’t productive enough, it’s sure to cause turmoil in your sleep life. When you feel overwhelmed with the amount of things you have to accomplish in a short period of time, that’s when you must prioritize. What must be done immediately, and what can wait? When you decide what can be put off, commit to that decision! Losing sleep over what you haven’t yet accomplished is just as bad as trying to cram too many things into too little time.

Though physical stressors are often the culprits when it comes to lack of sleep, emotional and mental dilemmas can play a huge factor in your sleep life as well. Next time your lavender-vanilla aromatherapy spray isn’t helping you drift off to dreamland, consider evaluating your life using the above factors and attempt to get a better rest the next night.

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The 21st-century world can be a dangerous place. The wide reach of the Internet and other technological developments makes people more interconnected than ever before. Though this interconnectedness can oftentimes be a positive thing, it opens the doors for identity thieves, child predators, and scam artists to take advantage of unsuspecting victims.

Furthermore, when news headlines are filled with stories of morally bankrupt business leaders and dishonest politicians, it makes the path to righteousness seem like an uphill battle. However, you can start the climb and hopefully have an effect on others by buckling down and beginning to live right.

Know Your Ten Commandments

The Ten Commandments brought down by Moses from Mount Sinai are often referenced when people cite their personal rules for living. Whether or not you use the Bible as your ethical measuring tape, it is important to have your own code of ethics to live by.

Survey your life and the world around you. What do you believe is right or wrong? Subjects such as abortion and the death penalty are hotly contested moral issues in the public eye, but when it comes to how you live on a daily basis, attempt to formulate guidelines that you feel comfortable with and then put them into action.

Find Your Purpose

If you work full-time, you likely spend over 2,000 hours at your place of employment in one year. Sure, some of those hours are spent eating lunch and chatting with colleagues around the water cooler, but the bulk of your time spent at work is used to contribute to your company’s purpose. When you spend such a huge amount of time on something, isn’t it only natural that you should feel useful in your position?

If you don’t feel fulfilled and like you have a purpose at work, it could be time to seek out a change that will allow you to feel more satisfied. Think of your personal code of ethics and what you value. Do you see these values coming into play in your work week? Having a job that helps you feel constructive and effective in the broader sense of things will certainly help you on your way to living right.

Do Unto Others…

Everyone knows the Golden Rule, “do unto others as you would have others do unto you,” but not everyone lives by it. It’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind and let stress rule your attitude and the way you treat others, but living right requires a determination to override negative feelings and focus on treating others with respect.

So, the next time your server at a restaurant brings you a hamburger cooked medium-well instead of the rare you asked for, or a newly licensed teenager rear-ends you at a traffic light, think back to a time when you got yourself into a situation that required a little grace and channel that energy.

Give Back

Anyone who has spent time volunteering can tell you that to give is better than to receive. No matter what stage of life you are in – rich or poor, young or old – opportunities abound in your community to help those in need. Volunteering can be a one-day, one-year, or even one-hour commitment, but its impact is sure to last much longer.

If you have plenty to give but don’t know where to allocate your resources, try searching the VolunteerMatch website. VolunteerMatch allows you to search by location and also by keyword. You can even search for virtual volunteering opportunities! Whether you choose to donate blood, tutor a child, or build a home, giving back to your community is a surefire way to start living right.

Buckling down and living right is not a fast process, but it certainly is a life-changing one. Don’t underestimate the power of your own resolve and the changes you can make in the world. Begin by analyzing your personal code of ethics and finding a purpose in your work, but continue the process by treating others how you would like to be treated and giving back to your community.

In the end, you will find your own life has been changed and the positive ripples that flow outward from your actions will in turn change the lives of others.

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If you had a dime for every time someone told you, “life isn’t fair,” you might dethrone Warren Buffet from his seat as richest man in the world. Unfortunately, being aware of life’s inequities doesn’t prevent them. In fact, hardships are virtually guaranteed to occur — it’s just a matter of when and where. So, when disaster strikes, you usually have one of two options – crumble under the pressure or become a survivor. Survivors persevere, but perseverance may not come naturally.

To find out how to be a survivor, read this collection of characteristics of those who keep at it when life gets rough and apply them to your own life.

Ask Questions

Survivors don’t just sit back and let life happen to them. Even though they are in the midst of a breakdown, they use their intuition and ingenuity to pose questions about what is happening to them. And they aren’t simply asking, “why me?”. Survivors use questions to gather information about the situation they are in and how it can be resolved. They also ask questions to learn how to prevent problems from occurring in the future.

See Things in a Different Light

Have you ever been stumped by a brainteaser and decided to let the puzzle simmer in your brain and return to it later, only to come back and find that the answer was right in front of your eyes the whole time? In this same manner, it’s helpful to attempt to find new ways to solve old problems. Survivors don’t get burnt out trying to fit a square key in a circular lock. In other words, they don’t repeatedly try a solution that clearly isn’t helping to solve a problem. To become a survivor, you need to look at things from all perspectives in order to find the best possible resolution.

Be Flexible

One of the absolute pillars of being a survivor is being flexible. Most people are not expecting it when disaster strikes. Therefore, it might be necessary to change your plans to accommodate the new developments.

If you become stressed by the thought of altering your roadmap to life, you will only add to the difficulties that have already been presented to you. Instead, work hard to keep an open mind and bend, don’t break.

Plan Ahead

There is a difference between worrying and planning. Worrying does little to prepare you for future challenges. It only deprives you of the time spent fretting over impossible-to-predict scenarios. Planning, on the other hand, is a practice used by survivors to allow them to effectively handle hardships when they do occur. For instance, keeping a first-aid kit in your house is a positive way to be ready if someone gets hurt. Worrying about your child scraping her knees every time she leaves the house is not. Survivors certainly aren’t psychic, but their ability to make effective and quality plans in advance of trouble’s wake allows them to rise above the ashes when the flames have been put out.

Set Goals

Goal-setting is an excellent strategy that allows you to step back and view a situation from an outsider’s perspective. Survivors can remove themselves from what is happening to them and see things rationally, which allows them to make benchmarks for restoration. You can set goals for how to deal with current problems or how to handle them in future settings. The idea is that you use goal-setting as a tool to step out from behind the “victim” title and become someone who makes the most of what they’ve got.

There is no telling what sorts of trials and tribulations you will go through in life, but there are always options as to how you can deal with it when these trials occur. Perseverance may be difficult, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. To be a survivor, you must simply use techniques and tactics that allow you to tackle your problems effectively and with an eye to the future.

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You’re never too old to learn! Once we graduate from high school, college, or even beyond, many of us never take another class. We may have decided that school is meant for the youth of our culture, and we assume that for the rest of our lives, we’ll only be getting our lessons from the school of hard knocks. While it’s true we learn an awful lot from life experience–that is if we are open to the lessons–there’s every reason to continue learning in school, through books, and now even on the Internet.

The opportunities for learning today are unlimited. However you like to learn, there’s a way to do it. Whatever you want to learn, there’s a place to learn it.

How do you like to learn? Some of the ways include: going to school and taking classes; taking weekend seminars; reading books; listening to audio tapes; working with a coach or mentor; or taking an online class. Can you think of some other ways you like to learn?

What do you want to learn? For business you may want to keep up your learning in your industry; maintain your skill set in your area of expertise; or continue to study business skills if you run a business. For personal interests you might want to hone existing skills like golf or guitar; or you might want to take up a new hobby like ballroom dancing or a foreign language. What would you like to learn now as an adult?

Why should you keep your head in the learning game? Some people are information junkies and others are content with limited data. You might fall somewhere in between. The reason I’m in favor of ongoing learning is that we live in a time where information is more accessible than ever before and technological advances are causing rapid changes in the knowledge base. If you want to keep up with what’s going on in the world, in your personal life, and in your business or work environment, you’ve got to keep your head in the learning game.

If you’re still not sure what you could be learning about at this age and stage of your life, here are 5 areas I would suggest for your ongoing education:

1. Health – Staying healthy today can be somewhat complicated. What foods are best? What exercises can keep you fit? What healing methods are most effective? This kind of information changes on a daily basis. One day red wine is the panacea for all ills, the next day it’s a detriment to your health. One day running is the rage, the next it’s bad for your knees. The only way to keep abreast of the latest on health is to stay informed. Read books, journals, and periodicals; attend seminars, talks, and conferences. Pursue the areas that interest you most whether it’s traditional or alternative medicine.

2. Finances — Lately we have been going through challenging economic times. The better informed you are, the better chance you have of preserving your assets and knowing what to do with your finances now and in the future. Anyone can learn about saving, spending, and investing. There are more books and seminars available on these subjects than you can imagine. Whether you want to learn about starting and running a business, getting a loan or grant, budgeting and tracking your income and expenses, or investing in real estate, stocks, or bonds, someone is teaching this somewhere.

3. Career – If you own your own business or work as an employee, many opportunities present themselves to you for continuing education in your field of expertise. Often employers bring in training companies to keep their employees well trained in their skills and in their industry. Business owners have access to seminars, conferences, and teleclasses to keep up on their area of expertise as well as current business and marketing practices.

4. Relationships — If you’re in an intimate relationship, you and your spouse may enjoy taking classes together that either enhance your relationship or where you can learn something new like a sport or hobby. If you’re looking to build an intimate relationship, plenty of classes are available for singles looking for love in all the right places!

5. Leisure — As I’ve already mentioned, you may want to brush up on an existing skill or take up a new one. As boomers enter retirement, they need to stay active both physically and mentally. Continuing your education is one of the best ways to do this. A client of mine who was bored in retirement took a pottery class at the local adult school and showered his family and friends with his creations–whether or not they wanted them. He’d never done anything artistic in his life but became fairly accomplished at making mugs, vases, and sculptures.

What have you always wanted to learn but never had the time? What’s stopping you now? Keep your head in the learning game, and you’ll never be bored–or boring!

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by David Bohl

Congratulations! You’ve taken your destiny by the horns and decided to quit your job! The days of slogging to work, a mere shadow of your pre incarcerated self are over. No more weighing the pros and cons again and again. And again. You’ve parented yourself through pity, doubts, guilt and fear. And you’ve emerged finally, on the other side with clarity, vision and conviction.

It’s tempting to want to share your jubilance–after all, making major decisions is hard work, and everything’s sweeter when shared. But before you let your pent up bob-cat out of the bag, give pause to that inclination.

Consider first that upon hearing the news, your employer will respond in one (or some modified form) of the following ways:

Amicably.

In this case, you will most likely transition your responsibilities and possibly train your replacement over a traditional two week notice period.

With a counter offer, by proposing a raise or a promotion.

Here is where your resolve could be compromised if you are not prepared. Consider the sincerity of such proposals suspicious– especially if earlier you unsuccessfully requested these adjustments based on your own merit. Remember, offers like this are usually based solely on the company’s own best interests and could be misleading. If you choose to consider a counter offer, get everything in writing before accepting.

Immediate termination because of a perceived threat to the security of the company.

It is not unusual to be escorted to the door if your employer suspects that you have signed on with direct competition or if your current position gives you a high level of access to company secrets. Companies reserve and can exercise this right for no apparent reason when an employee resigns.

In any case, even if you are almost certain of its implausibility, you would be wise to be prepared for the worst case scenario. By assuming the mindset of your employer- that is, the impact of the news to their bottom line, you will protect and ensure your own successful transition, and in some ways minimize the fallout on your employer and your coworkers.

More Tips:

Resolve to keep your intentions to yourself.

Be prepared for questions. It’s likely you will be asked why you are leaving, and where you are going. Resist the temptation to spill your list of resentments, judgments and policy grievances. More than likely, something you say will be taken to task or misunderstood, and you will find yourself drawn into a discussion in which you are not responsible to engage.

Remember, you don’t want to burn your bridges. You never know if or when this set of colleagues will reappear on your professional horizon. So say nothing that will jeopardize the relationships you have built. Also, keep your new destination to yourself in the (unlikely) possibility that someone will try to undermine your future employment before you even start. By remaining polite and respectful, you can stoically protect yourself from potential retaliation.

Get your financial ducks in a row.

Ensure your immediate financial security. If you have secured a new job, get it in writing. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that an employment offer letter will suffice. Until you have a signed contract, your professional and financial interests remain vulnerable. If you have opted to resign without a job in place, you might want to consider registering with one or more local temp or freelance employment agencies. Once you prove your dependability, they will usually keep you working on a regular basis.

Conservatively adjust your monthly outlay according to your new projected income. Be sure to include the increased cost of medical insurance (to which you have a right under COBRA). If you plan on making your new job search a full time endeavor, analyze your financial picture to calculate how long your resources (savings, severance, unpaid vacation, etc.) will last. Now is a great time to create a budget. And always, always leave yourself a cushion for emergencies.

Clean up your act.

Do a thorough housecleaning of your computer and your office. Even if the worst case scenario doesn’t materialize and you’re not immediately ushered to the door, keep in mind that from this time forward the company will likely be keeping closer tabs on your computer activity.

Meticulously go through your hard drive and either print out or email any personal documents to your home account. Be sure to delete them and then delete the deleted items. Go through your email, both inbox and sent items and delete any personal correspondence. Do the same with your browsing history. Ditto for the hard copies of anything in your office files. Be especially mindful of how you handle any information that could be considered confidential by your employer.

Check your timing.

Dedicate yourself to making the most of your company’s financial perks by planning your resignation around approaching key dates. Is a pay raise imminent? If so, your final salary could (if your company’s 401k is a “defined benefit plan”) affect your benefit. Other dates of long term financial consequence are stock option “vesting” schedules. Most companies require from 3-5 years of employment before you become vested in their contribution to your account. In some cases, portions of the contributions are granted vest on different dates over a specific period of time. Lastly, don’t forget bonus pay dates!

Maintain your dignity.

Was there a less than favorable comment on your last performance review? If possible, make an effort to correct the problem and get the review amended in writing. Although the content of your file is legally confidential to the outside world, it can and will be referred to internally, should you reapply to the company in the future.

Adopt the same approach to strained relationships. Do everything you can to repair your part in a falling out with a coworker or boss. When you do drop the bomb, their responses will most likely be more positive and gracious. At least their memories of you will be respectful. At best, you’ve added former foes to your future networking possibilities!

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