It sounds strange to imagine someone not really knowing who they are, what they want, or where they’re going. But it’s not all that uncommon for many people to be pretty clueless about themselves.

Have you ever asked someone what their life passions were, only to have them give you a blank stare? Or do you ever remember being asked to define your purpose in life, only to answer that you didn’t realize you had one?

I think it’s really sad how many of us go through lives being out of touch with the deeper part of ourselves. Oh sure, most of us know what foods we like, what leisure activities we enjoy, and maybe what our favorite color is. But for the most part, so many people muddle through life unconscious of their deepest needs, desires, and gifts.

Of course, there are some who have awakened to the realization that they are more than their physical body, more than their thoughts, and that there’s more to life than what their five senses report to them. However, these folks are the minority, although an ever-growing segment of the population.

If you want to join that group to enrich your life and live fully 100%, consider beginning your own adventure of self-exploration. What do I mean by that? Mostly, I see it as taking time to tune out the outside world, and tune into your inner world. Yes, there is a world inside of each of us, one that I imagine is even vaster than the world outside. As far as we can imagine reaching into outer space, I believe we can reach that far into inner space.

Why would anyone decide to take this journey? What motivates those who seem to be on a continuous self-exploration voyage? I think it boils down to a certain level of dissatisfaction in life. We may set a goal, achieve it, and then find we’re not all done, there are more goals to set and achieve, more “stuff” to acquire.

We always seem to want more, and at some point we realize it’s never enough. Yet, when we delve into that inner world that needs no “stuff” for satisfaction, we may indeed find satisfaction–in just being, rather than doing and having.

The way to begin your self-exploration is by making the decision to do so and then taking the time to embark on the adventure. At first, maybe set aside one hour to start. Ultimately, you will probably want to spend more time on this journey, maybe one hour a day or one day per week or more. Here are some steps you can take on your adventure of self-exploration. Enjoy the journey!

1. Go within.

Some people practice formal meditation, others just sit quietly with eyes closed, for a period of time. The idea is to quiet your mind of the constant barrage of thoughts, and experience a peaceful mind. Experienced meditators report that beyond the mind chatter is the voice of the inner self. When you can listen to your inner self, you will become acquainted with that deeper you–who you are at your core, why you are here, what your highest purpose is.

2. Journal.

After you have quieted your mind for a period of time, open your eyes and write any impressions you have from your journey inside. Did you hear any words of wisdom? Did any of your questions about your life get answered? As you journal on a regular basis, the wisdom you receive will increase, because you will get more and more in touch with this inner part of you.

3. Brainstorm.

You can do this yourself or with close friends or family. Make lists of activities you love, skills you have, values you embrace. Then look for what matters most to you. Doing this will bring you closer to your deeper needs, desires, and purpose. You’ll start to understand what motivates you, what brings you joy, and what you need to do to stay connected to this inner you.

4. Get guidance.

Read a book, work with a guide, take a workshop. Plenty of options are available to direct you on your path to self-exploration. Louise L. Hay, Wayne Dyer, and other popular authors like these have created books and workbooks that show you how to take the journey inside. Do this alone or find a friend or group of people to join you. Find a Meet Up group or contact a local spiritual organization or university.

Whatever path you choose, your adventure of self-exploration will be the greatest adventure of your lifetime.

NEWSFLASH: I’ve added another chapter to my life by joining C.A.S.T. Recovery, a Los Angeles based outpatient drug rehab program which specializes in designing highly individualized recovery plans with appropriate professionals to support a client’s health, accountability, and success.

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In fact, it sometimes seems that teens in their senior year have to be physically tethered to the ground to keep them from floating off the surface of the planet in their desire to be done with high school, their relinquishing of previous worries and their eagerness to start building their new lives. Wouldn’t it be great if you could recapture this feeling again in your own life?

Well, as it turns out, you can. All you have to do is wait, according to a surprising new study on happiness and aging.

Contrary to popular belief, according to this groundbreaking research, “the happiest Americans are the oldest,” These findings come from a study done by a University of Chicago sociologist, Yang Yang. “The good news.” Yang reports, “is that with age comes happiness. Life gets better in one’s perception as one ages.”

(source: http://www.newsvine.com/_news/2008/04/18/1438786-despite-myth-old-age-is-the-happiest-time-research-says)
The article goes on to say that, “There were ups and downs in overall happiness levels during the study, generally corresponding with good and bad economic times. But at every stage, older Americans were the happiest.”
Apparently, despite public perceptions, seniors are often far happier than their early-adult and midlife compatriots, more content with themselves and more relaxed about life in general. But what factors contribute to this end-of-life enhancing effect?

*Older people tend to be more accepting of their status in life – they are content to have done well and lived a good life, and place less importance on public acclaim, fame or other worldly achievement.

*Differences between race and income level tend to mean less, and therefore create less angst, as people age.

*Seniors may have a smaller social circle as they age, but they tend to socialize more and be less isolated than their busier, career-obsessed counterparts.

*Seniors are under less pressure to perform, and have fewer demands on their time than those in midlife, which creates far less stress and allows for more rest and recreation.

*The push to make a living and create your place in the world has faded by this time in their life – seniors aren’t coasting by any stretch of the imagination, but there’s less social pressure to “be somebody” or “make something of themselves.”

To summarize, older people are more likely to have let go of concerns that harassed them in their earlier lives, they’re more likely to be content with their current life (and looking forward to what’s coming) and they’re more likely to have moved on from previous social constraints and are enjoying their new-found freedoms with the ones they love. In short, they have senioritis.

However, the research is not all good news, especially for those of us still approaching senior age. As it turns out, Baby Boomers were the least happy group in this study. The reason? Unrealistically high expectations. Too many Baby Boomers have swallowed the propaganda that they can do and have it all, and are desperately trying to make that ideal a reality. They’re stressed to the breaking point by trying to be everything to everyone, and worried that they won’t live long enough, or be physically and financially fit enough, to do everything they want to as they move into retirement. Says Duke University aging expert Linda George, “They could end up living the unfortunate old-age stereotype if they can’t let go of their achievement-driven mind-set.”

And of all the lessons this research is trying to teach us, that might just be the hardest one of all.

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In celebration of April Fool’s Day…and of all Spring’s new beginnings, I wanted to encourage you to be a little bit more “foolish” in your life. There is power in daring to be different.

Great advances have never come from the conventionally minded among us. It’s always comes from us idiots who believe in love and freedom and goodness and peace. The fools of today are the visionaries of tomorrow. Those crazy fools of the past gave us electricity, medicine, automobiles, a few trips to the moon and back, not to mention hair dye and microwave dinners. God bless them all. Can you imagine the Wright brothers thinking they could snub the laws of gravity and fly? Think about it. Many of us cower and shrink thinking we’re idiots for believing we can write a screenplay that sells.

Fools dare to be alive, even on a Monday. Fools dare to take off their shoes, turn off the computer and walk outside into the sun.  They know the power, healing, and strength of having fun.  Fools dare to take off their thinking cap and try on their feelings fedora.

Fools dare to try new things and do them badly. Fools dare to rest when they are tired. Fools dare to sing off key and they dare to sing on key in a voice that melts all separation.  Fools dare to wander down interesting paths in their lives, take scenic routes and detours and stuff their bursting satchels with jewels. Fools dare to step into the river beyond the concrete structures of “how it’s always been done,” and allow themselves to be carried onto new and holy ground.

Prudence and conservatism have not advanced our culture. It took the voices on the outskirts to make a noise that changed the world. It’s taken a handful of rabble rousers to vote for women’s rights, freedom from slavery, and to oppose war, hunger, and hatred. It takes fools to raise awareness and fools to raise the bar. It takes fools to stir the hearts of mankind into becoming the great lovers and leaders we are meant to be. Every time we watch the Academy Awards or the Olympics, I think of all the “foolish dreamers” involved who believed they had something in them that deserved commitment, development, and a jostling chance. Every hero begins as fool.

So dare the ridicule of the narrow-minded and dim-sighted. Dare to still believe. Dare to feel.  Dare to trust your guiding light. Dare to ignore gravity and take flight. Dare to be a hero. Dare to be a fool.

©2009 Tama J. Kieves. All rights reserved

www.AwakeningArtistry.com

Tama J. Kieves, an honors graduate of Harvard Law School, left her law practice with a large corporate law firm to write and to embolden others to live and breathe their most meaningful self-expression. She is the best-selling author of THIS TIME I DANCE! Creating the Work You Love/How One Harvard Lawyer Left It All to Have It All

which was chosen as a Finalist for the national Nautilus Book Award, along with the Dalai Lama’s The Art of Happiness.

Kieves is a sought-after speaker and leading career and book coach, who has helped thousands worldwide to discover and launch the life, calling, and business of their dreams. Her dynamic work has been featured on T.V., radio, and in national publications, such as Forbes. Her lectures receive standing ovations and she presents at Canyon Ranch, the six star spa, and is on the faculty of the world-renowned Omega Institute. She is known for her dynamic humor, electrifying presence, “realness,” compassion, and the big possibilities she brings to every room. She offers keynotes, workshops and retreats internationally. She is also an international presenter for A Course in Miracles.

She is currently the founder and president of Awakening Artistry, an organization dedicated to inspiring and supporting a global family of creative souls, visionary minds, daredevil entrepreneurs, and empowered leaders. Visit her popular website at www.AwakeningArtistry.com and sign up to receive her free monthly e-newsletter filled with support for living your best creative life. Download her free transformational report on “Finding Your Calling Now” at www.AwakeningArtistry.com.

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We often hear someone say they’re “happy and fulfilled” at a new job, with a new living situation, even as a new parent. And they surely are, or believe themselves to be, happy and fulfilled.

But I wonder sometimes what we mean by these terms.

Let’s start with happy. Most people use the word “happy” to mean that nothing in their lives is making them “unhappy.” Their lives are pleasurable. They have what they want, they like their lives, and they are, in a word, content.

That’s great, really. Happiness is something we’d all like to have, and which we all strive for. It’s also very elusive, because the pleasure which is the root of what we call “happiness” is usually transitory.

Let’s look at Sarah for a moment. Sarah has just purchased a new car and is very happy. She loves her job, has a good relationship with her husband, and lives in a nice home. She is happy.

But what if a storm comes along, takes out the roof on the house – and drops it on Sarah’s car? She’s not going to be very happy, especially when her husband gets not just mad but spectacularly angry because if Sarah had parked the new car in the garage as he requested, the roof wouldn’t have landed on it.

Now Sarah has gone from happy to unhappy, but chances are that state will change, probably very soon, because happiness is a transitory state, in the sense that most people use the word.

Let’s look at Sarah’s job, though. She says she is very personally fulfilled by her job. Sarah is a social worker, and primary therapist, at a state-run home for mentally challenged children who need round-the-clock care and whose parents were just not able to raise them at home.

Sarah’s job is to make sure that these children remain as emotionally healthy as possible, considering their circumstances. This often involves trying to communicate with children who can communicate only at a very “young” level. When Sarah first took the job, she was overwhelmed by the needs and dependency of the children.

Now she feels there is nothing in the world she would rather do. She had considered going into private counseling, and at one point enrolled in a Ph.D. program, but later decided to stay with her current job. She could make much more money elsewhere, but she believes she has something to offer these children, and she stays because it is “a fulfilling job.”

While this job does not necessarily make Sarah happy, in the sense of always being pleasurable, on a long-term basis being a social worker gives Sarah a deeper sense of having done something worthwhile and made a difference.

Happiness is good. You won’t ever hear me argue that people should not strive to be happy. What you will hear me say is that we should recognize the difference, as our imaginary Sarah does, between happiness and fulfillment. Sarah knows the car is not gong to fulfill her deep needs to make a difference, but she loves to drive it. She also knows there will be days when she leaves work exhausted and even unhappy, but in the long run, she gets more out of her work than she puts in, and she’s fulfilled.

Happiness and fulfillment both have a place in our lives, but they need to be balanced.

To find that balance in your own life:

Spend some time thinking about what would really fulfill you and make you feel you are living toward a purpose.

If you are not currently being fulfilled in your work and life, think about changes you could make that would help you feel fulfilled.

Give yourself a “happiness lift” every week – do something you enjoy, or spend time with someone who makes you feel happy.

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Does a failure-to-success story qualify you? You’ve been there and done that, so now you can show others how to do it! Well that’s one way to qualify.

I must confess that I’m a recovering achievement junkie and that gives me the moral authority to tell you that you can be a recovering achievement junkie too. I know how to do it and you may not… but as the expert, I can show you how. Yet, is that what I want to be an expert at? I’m not so sure.

What qualifies anyone to be an expert? I view an expert as someone who has considerable intellectual knowledge and real world experience in a particular field, area of study, process, or activity. They possess knowledge and experience in greater measure than a majority of others in their field. And they can express their expertise in order to help others understand and implement any appropriate ideas and actions based on that information.

Why would you want to be an expert? Because in business, experts get greater notoriety and publicity, can charge more than non-experts, and are often the best teachers. In your personal life, as an expert you can enjoy your skill or help others perfect theirs.

Say, for example, you’re an expert at tying fishing flies. You enjoy creating unique flies, you attend fishing conventions, and buy all the new supplies. You can enjoy your expert status on your own, or you can teach neighborhood kids who want to learn how to tie flies.

In business, you may be an expert in team building. You can hone your expertise in your own company or business, or you can become a teacher, coach, or consultant and help others build teams.

What qualifies you to be an expert is somewhat subjective. It used to be that education alone–the more degrees the better–was the mark of an expert. A masters and Ph.D. were often the benchmarks of at least the beginning of expert status.

Today, I would venture to say experience builds expertise faster and stronger than education. For education not applied is merely knowledge locked in the brain and not tested in the real world.

People who seek experts out want to learn from someone who has applied the book knowledge and discovered what works and doesn’t. Often, experts write books based on their experience, and that’s one of the quickest methods of achieving expert status.

Suppose you wanted to build a coaching business. You could go to a coach university and take two years of courses… or you could hire a business coach who has already built a successful business. Which way would you go?

Of course, you can always combine the two for stronger results: knowledge + experience = expertise. Nowadays, with so many people going into business for themselves, almost anyone can hang out their shingle and call themselves an expert. But even though people may begin to seek you out for knowledge or information, they will need more than your word if you want to convince them to sign on the dotted line.

Here are some tips to strengthen your qualifications as an expert so you can attract the people who will benefit from your expertise:

1. Be an expert at one thing.

Don’t scatter your energies and try to be an expert at everything, only to wind up being expert at nothing. Be known for something significant that can boost your expert status. Be the best gardener on the block. Be the best golfer in your group. Be the best accountant in your business. What is your greatest strength or your greatest passion? Develop your expertise in that.

2. Do what the experts do.

Find a mentor who can cut short your learning curve. Or follow the experts in your field by reading their books, attending their seminars, and signing up for their newsletters. Say you want to build your expertise as a blogger. Google for the top blogging experts and get on their mailing lists. Take their teleseminars and read their newsletters. If the opportunity comes up for mentorship, go for it. Learn from the best, and you become the best.

3. Determine your objectives.

Why do you want to be an expert? What’s in it for you? What’s in it for others? If personal, are you just looking to improve your skill so you can gain more enjoyment from playing the guitar, knitting, or sailing? Or do you want to teach your expertise to others? If in business, will becoming an expert mean more credibility, more responsibility, and more money?

4. Keep learning and growing.

Learning to be an expert doesn’t stop when you leave the class or stop working with a coach. The more you perform your skill, the better you get. The more you keep up with current techniques, the more you have to share with others. The more you evaluate your expertise and learn and correct, the better teacher you’ll be.

Ultimately, what qualifies you as an expert is doing something you love, something you’re excellent at, and something for which others can seek you out as an authority!

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Each time you take a tumble in the dryer, a little bit of lint is left in the trap – the little bits of you that eventually leave your life thinner, and you wondering where it went.  These are the wasted moments that can’t be refound, the unnoticed skimming of time off your days that eventually pile up into a wad of loss.  Don’t you sometimes wish you could gather up all those balls of lint and weave them back in to a whole fabric of yourself?

And we shrink, too, each time we go through the hot dryer.  We draw up and the sleeves are too short, the body too tight.  We have a hard time making life fit anymore.  We cover up the condition of our clothes with artificial perfumes and softeners, a consolation for their wear and tear.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

We could take the more leisurely approach to drying our clothes by hanging them on an clothesline.  The morning sun is warm on your back as you pin each item on the line, the dampness of the sheet caressing your face.  The breeze dances the clothes on the line, gently exchanging their dewiness for that fresh smell of the outdoors that only clothes dried on a clothesline can have.  There is no shrinkage, no thinning.  A little fading perhaps of the darker items, but also a brightening of the lighter – isn’t that how life should be?

Is it as fast and convenient?  Probably not.  And, some fabrics come out a little stiff.  But you have had the sublime pleasure of standing in the quiet sunshine, of seeing each item as its own shape, rather than part of a tumbled mass in a hot, crazily circling drum.  You have heard the morning chorus of birds in the trees, inhaled the aroma of cut grass in the air – and eventually, you will have dry clothes, too.

Best of all, on some drearier day when the sky is rainy, you will have the delight of smelling that summer day as you pull a clean shirt over your head, reminded of the fullness of living.  Now, isn’t that better than dealing with the heat-breathing dragon in the basement?

Liz Rhodebeck, a freelance writer, likes to take note of the everyday moments of life in her poetry and essays.  See her website at www.waterwriter.com.

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We are told to strive for unattainable lifestyles and to model ourselves after unrealistic, airbrushed models.

Sometimes you need to step back from this virtual reality and ponder what life is really about. Will that Mercedes or those anti-anxiety medications really make you happier, or are they only temporary solutions to deeper issues? Examine these five myths about how you should be living your life and start living the way you want to live.

Myth 1: Material Things Prove Your Worth

Someone once said, “One reason it’s so hard to save money is that our neighbors are always buying something we can’t afford.” Keeping up with the Joneses is certainly no way to live, and the desire to do so stems from a belief that material things prove your worth. Extravagant clothing, houses, and cars oftentimes serve as status symbols in today’s society, but when it comes down to it, what you have in your heart and mind is worth much more than what you’ve got in your wallet. Furthermore, comparing yourself financially to your friends and family will only cause envy and strife. Remember that while luxuries may be enjoyable, they don’t make you who you are.

Myth 2: You Should Always Take an Expert’s Opinion at Face Value

How many times have you taken your car in for a simple oil change, only to be told you need hundreds of dollars worth of repairs in other areas? Have you taken the mechanic’s word for it and shelled out the cash or gone in for a second opinion elsewhere? We tend to rely on experts for advice, whether they are doctors, lawyers, financial consultants, or repairmen, but you can’t forget that even though they are experts, they still don’t know everything. You always retain the power to do your own research or seek out another form of advice. You may find that separate individuals offer different yet complementary opinions that allow you to shape a more informed decision on the issue you are having.

Myth 3: When in Doubt, Medicate

It’s hard to make it through a 2-minute commercial break without seeing an advertisement for some sort of prescription drug. The prescription drug industry has exploded in the past decade, and Zoloft, Prozac, and Ritalin are now part of most Americans’ vocabulary. While there is something to be said for the positive benefits medications have to offer, they are certainly not quick fix on the road to happiness. Before asking your doctor about the latest mood-altering drug you saw on television or in a magazine, consider seeking therapy and using self-improvement strategies to alter your moods instead. Even if prescription drugs are a feasible option for your treatment plan, it’s important to remember that they are not a cure-all. Healing takes time and a repertoire of varying strategies in order to truly come about.

Myth 4: It’s Hip to Be Forever Young

The world today is filled with Peter Pans – adults who don’t want to grow up. Whether they are lacking in emotional maturity or in wrinkles, growing old has become a faux pas for a lot of people. Don’t get the wrong idea. It’s great to feel young at heart and to be physically fit, but it’s possible to do so and still age gracefully. Aging with class involves learning from your past. What’s the point of a life long-lived if you want to act like a child and look like one, too? Gray hair, laugh lines, and a cultivated point of view are things to be embraced, not shunned.

Myth 5: You Can Do It All

Society tends to tell us that multitasking and the ability to juggle lots of things at once is a good thing, but when you have too many things in the air, something is bound to get dropped. Ambition is a good thing, but you have to know when enough is enough. Yes, it’s possible to be a wife, a mother, a businesswoman, and the best baker at the church bazaar, but it’s also okay to say no when your best friend asks you to help her plan a charity gala. When you take on more than you can handle, the quality of your projects often suffers. Don’t feel pressured to be a yes-man. Even the best of us can’t do it all.

There are so many self-improvement blogs, magazines, and websites out there these days, everyone has an opinion on the way you should be living your life. It’s important not to focus on the myths flooding the media but to analyze your situations carefully and live the way that is right for you.

NEWSFLASH: I’ve added another chapter to my life by joining C.A.S.T. Recovery, a Los Angeles based national outpatient drug rehab program which specializes in designing highly individualized recovery plans with appropriate professionals to support a client’s health, accountability, and success.

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Suppose someone hands you a five-pound box of paper and tells you that it’s part of a project that’s due next week!

Or what about if you’re creating a business model for your own company – that’s a pretty voluminous project.

Here are some must-have tips for streamlining the work so that things get done right and move forward according to schedule.

Create a plan

A house builder doesn’t just show up at the site and start building. He works closely with an architect, creating blueprints–a plan on how the structure will be created and built. The same holds true for any type of project you’re working on. You need to have a big picture view of the project and then sit down and plan out how you’re going to get from start to finish.

While planning may seem like an extra step when you can just get right to it, it can actually save you a lot of time and mistakes in the long run, making it faster to get from start to finish than if you just wing it as you go along.

Form a team

Teamwork is an ideal way to streamline a project — in fact, many small business owners form teams of freelance professionals to churn out work faster, please clients with their expertise, and pull in more profit in less time.

Each team member should bring something unique to the table, so assign tasks that utilize these talents. Not only will you get the task completed quicker, but you’ll get it done effectively because you’ll have the best people working on what they do best. If you’ve ever attempted to “do it all alone,” you know how disconcerting that can be, not to mention what a time and energy drainer. When you form a team, even if you’re paying money to those people, you’re giving yourself back the gift of time and energy to focus on other important things.

Create a timeline

While a plan lists out the tasks required to get the project done, a timeline adds deadlines to the tasks. Creating a timeline lets everyone know when each task has to be completed, and also gives a sense of cooperation – because you’re depending on another person’s expedience before you can move forward with your portion of the work. Timelines also helps to eliminate procrastination. If everyone involved strives to meet the deadlines, the project begins to take on momentum and a sense of accomplishment – while fuels expedience even more!

Create procedures

Now that you know where you’re going with the project (plan) and when you need to get there, you’ve got to figure out how this will be pulled off. Will you automate certain parts of this by utilizing the appropriate computer programs? Will you outsource to other people who can offer part-time help for less than you would have paid a full-timer? What about communication – is it worth mapping out explicit instructions for people to follow, so that each person takes the shortest distance to success?

Each time you tap into another productive solution, document it and turn it into instructions that other members of the team can use to help move things along. By creating procedures, you’re creating the directions, the road map if you will, on how to get from one task to the next, finally bringing the project to completion. Also – if someone else brings a new idea to the table on how to get something done even faster or more efficiently – hear them out. Procedures should be adhered to, but also offer some flexibility. After all, you want to do what truly works, not what you think will work! This is how great companies continue to innovate new solutions every day!

Keep track of the progress

It’s not enough to just create a plan and run with it. It also streamlines the process if you keep track of how the project’s progressing. As a task is completed, check it off or highlight it before moving on to the next task. If the group reaches a milestone, pump in some fresh energy with a little celebrating and some kudos all around – this keeps spirits fresh and motivation levels high.

If a deadline is looming, make sure that everyone working on the project is reminded of what has to be completed and when — this way, there can be no excuses or oversights. If deadlines are being missed, try to figure out why so that the problem can be corrected and avoided as you move along. Don’t forget to document your solution as part of the procedure or “order of operations.”

Have a back-up plan

Even the perfect plans run into snags, so make sure you have a back-up plan in place. During the planning process, try to anticipate problems or issues that may come up during the project and prepare for how you’ll deal with these snags.

In order to streamline a project, you’ve got to take control. Plan before you jump in with both feet. Form a team and assign tasks to various people to get the job done faster and more effectively. Set deadlines and stick to them. Figure out how you’re going to carry the plan out. In case something goes wrong, make sure you have a back-up plan in place. If you do these six things, you’ll be well on your way to seeing your project finished a lot faster than if you muddle through it as you go.

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While this is not true of all work environments, there are some people in your professional crowd that you definitely want to avoid. Learn the traits of these professional piranhas, and stay out of their treacherous pond at work, so you don’t get eaten alive and watch your career go down in flames.

Idea Thief

The idea thief is the one who takes your great ideas and somehow turns them into his or her own great ideas. He recognizes a good idea when he swipes one, and runs straight to the powers that be to sell them on his grand plan before the creator gets a whiff of what just happened.

How to Deal With Him:

Whatever you do, don’t sell yourself short! Never give away your great ideas for free. Make sure you share them with the appropriate person and not someone who has the opportunity to use your own information against you. Once you identify who the credibility crook is, steer clear!

If you’re forced into a situation where you must work directly with an idea thief, be protective and proactive. Share your work with your boss before the idea thief gets his dirty little paws on it. If you’re brainstorming on email, be sure to CC your boss on all original work created by you. This way, the idea thief will get the hint, and go sponge off someone else’s smarts!

Slacker Steve

These are the workers that sit on a committee or a team, but don’t contribute anything to the project or job task. A group project is the ideal situation for this person, because the rest of the team that has to pick up the slack of Slacker Steve if they want to get the job done. And the worse part is that the slacker gets just as much credit for completing the job task as all of the people who actually worked!

How to Deal with Him:

Nobody likes to be the office tattletale, but if you get stuck bearing the burden of a tough project with only Slacker Steve to offer assistance, take the matter to someone higher up on the food chain. Explain that you feel more comfortable working independently, or perhaps you’d be better paired with someone else in the group who matches your level of industriousness. If that doesn’t work, come right and say that you don’t feel like Steve is pulling his weight. In general, slackers make things draining and frustrating for the rest of us, so stay clear of working with with these toads if you can!

The Control Freak

Next, you have those in the crowd who have to control everything. From what time the meeting is scheduled to assigning tasks to nitpicking the grammar and then changing it back again, the control freak has to have their hands on all aspects of the task at hand. Even when they assign the tasks to a group, the work is never as good as if they had done it themselves, so they end up doing your work for you, or redoing work you’ve already done.

How to Deal With Him:

You have one of two choices when stuck working with the Control Freak. One, you can take a passive role in the project and simply let him micro-manage you. However, this tends to come back and bite you, because if the Control Freak gets out of control, you’ll likely be the one blamed for whatever he messed up. Another option is to somehow finagle a situation where the control freak becomes so engrossed in whatever he’s doing that he can’t possibly have time to pick on your work.

Or, there is always option three, which is to direct his attention to a lesser individual in the group – someone with less experience, who is more likely to actually NEED his constant instructions. In general though, being in the driver’s seat is the control freak’s power feeder, so don’t add fuel to the fire.

Debbie Downer

The power of positive thinking works. If you surround yourself with positive people and have a positive attitude of your own, you’ll go a lot farther than if you hang with a crowd of Negative Nellies. Unfortunately there is always the Debbie or Nellie of the crowd… the one who, if there’s an open parking spot close to the building, will complain that now everyone can watch her as she eats lunch in her car. You all got bonuses, but according to Debbie Downer, it’s not enough… you know the type I refer to! If you get wrapped up in her negativity, she’s going to drag you down.

How to Deal With Her:

If you find yourself stuck under the same raincloud, bring an umbrella! Or, I should say a pair of earphones. Listening to music while working is a great way to drone out the Debbie Downers of the world. Also, make it known (in a polite way of course) that you do not share her pessimistic attitude.

Keep your mind focused on the good things. Use that energy to motivate the rest of the team. Or, at the very least… if Debbie Downer criticizes a certain aspect of work that’s fixable… why not take her advice and work toward improvement! Keep it up, and who knows… you might even get a pay raise for your effort.

Bootlicker Bob

Bootlicker Bob only cares about himself and his success, so he’ll do anything to get ahead. Also known as brownnosers, bootlickers focus all of their energy on making themselves look good and their colleagues look bad. They’re usually the ones trailing the boss, answering to his or her every whim.

How to Deal With Him:

Bootlicker Bob is probably the least harmful out of all the workplace weasles you may encounter. He’s annoying more than anything else – so find ways to avoid him and/or drown him out. If you see that Bootlicker Bob’s sucking up has outed you from a few opportunities to be noticed for your good work, then be the squeaky wheel and make some (positive) noise of your own. If he’s a snitch, keep your nose clean and document everything you do. It’s a good practice to get into anyway, regardless of whether there’s a brownnoser sniffing about.

Backstabber Betty

Similar to bootlickers, backstabbers will do anything it takes to get ahead. They’ll throw you and other colleagues under the bus in a heartbeat, if it means getting that promotion, earning the boss’s praise, or snagging that pay raise.

How to Deal with Her:

Avoid backstabbers like the plague and you’ll avoid becoming one of their casualties in the workplace. Also, play your cards close to the vest, just as you would with the Idea Thief. Keep communication reserved for you and your boss, and try to pair up on projects with someone else, who won’t try to take your credit or steal your thunder. Again, ask if you can go it solo for certain tasks – it will certainly allow you to prove your own competence without old Betty knifing you when you’re not looking, just so she can claw her way to the top!

At work, you have to deal with a lot of different types of people. While there are many good folks that you probably enjoy working with, others can be toxic to you and your career. Stay clear of these six types and you’re sure to soar ahead without any workplace drama.

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One-liners are often meaningful and memorable, but what about the context they were taken from? While it’s great to be remembered for snippets of brilliant conversation, it’s better to be memorable for being a great conversationalist as a whole.

If you’d like to heighten the value of your conversations, here are some tips to consider.

Think Before You Speak

People often have a tendency to blurt out whatever pops into their minds before thinking about the impact it may have on their conversational audience. While flashes of genius may occur occasionally, it’s more likely that a well-thought-out comment will have a greater impact.

Furthermore, when you allow yourself to air your thoughts without consideration to who you’re speaking to or how it may affect them, you can end up saying things you may regret later on, whether it be hurtful comments or simply viewpoints you are not prepared to defend. Instead, take the time during your conversations to carefully consider your remarks. You will find that not only do you become more a memorable speaker, but you won’t have to spend time backpedaling later on comments you didn’t mean.

Know Your Audience

What do you think would be more memorable to a stay-at-home parent – a talk about healthy cooking and recipes for families on a budget or a discussion on the facts and fiction of high-fructose corn syrup? While both topics may contain beneficial knowledge, the former is more likely to keep a parent’s attention and interest because it relates more directly to things a parent may be experiencing.

The point is, to be memorable, you must know who you’re talking to and what will stay with them after the conversation is finished. Whether you are giving an informal lecture to a group of college students or meeting for coffee with your neighbor, being memorable in conversation is all about relating to your audience and talking about things that are of importance to them.

Listen

Contrary to what you may think, memorable conversations do not have to be one-sided. If your conversations become more like soliloquies, the person or people you are speaking to are more likely to tune you out. Great discussions require an even (or close to it) share of the speaking time. That means you need to listen as much as you talk.

When you feel strongly about a subject, it may be hard to take the time to hear what another person is saying, but doing so will allow you to analyze their point of view and respond accordingly, rather than having a one-track mind. If your partner in conversation feels like you acknowledge and understand his perspective, he is also more likely to attribute value to your statements.

Be Sincere

Last but most certainly not least, you absolutely have to be sincere about your topics of conversation in order to be memorable. People are perceptive, and they will know if you are faking it. Conversely, however, they will also know if you are truly passionate and genuine in what you are saying. Everyone appreciates earnest conversation, and they will be more likely to let what you are saying sink in and affect them if they believe you mean it.

Becoming a memorable conversationalist is not difficult, but it does take thought and consideration. Always think about the impact of your statements before they come out of your mouth, and try to know what matters to your listeners so that you can converse about topics that relate to their interests.

Furthermore, be a listener yourself. Don’t allow your knowledge on a subject or fervent feelings about it to overshadow the thoughts and opinions of others. And lastly, always be sincere when you speak. Try these tips and you never know – you just may find your words of wisdom next to those of Eleanor Roosevelt or Albert Einstein on Bartleby.com!

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