We are told to strive for unattainable lifestyles and to model ourselves after unrealistic, airbrushed models.

Sometimes you need to step back from this virtual reality and ponder what life is really about. Will that Mercedes or those anti-anxiety medications really make you happier, or are they only temporary solutions to deeper issues? Examine these five myths about how you should be living your life and start living the way you want to live.

Myth 1: Material Things Prove Your Worth

Someone once said, “One reason it’s so hard to save money is that our neighbors are always buying something we can’t afford.” Keeping up with the Joneses is certainly no way to live, and the desire to do so stems from a belief that material things prove your worth. Extravagant clothing, houses, and cars oftentimes serve as status symbols in today’s society, but when it comes down to it, what you have in your heart and mind is worth much more than what you’ve got in your wallet. Furthermore, comparing yourself financially to your friends and family will only cause envy and strife. Remember that while luxuries may be enjoyable, they don’t make you who you are.

Myth 2: You Should Always Take an Expert’s Opinion at Face Value

How many times have you taken your car in for a simple oil change, only to be told you need hundreds of dollars worth of repairs in other areas? Have you taken the mechanic’s word for it and shelled out the cash or gone in for a second opinion elsewhere? We tend to rely on experts for advice, whether they are doctors, lawyers, financial consultants, or repairmen, but you can’t forget that even though they are experts, they still don’t know everything. You always retain the power to do your own research or seek out another form of advice. You may find that separate individuals offer different yet complementary opinions that allow you to shape a more informed decision on the issue you are having.

Myth 3: When in Doubt, Medicate

It’s hard to make it through a 2-minute commercial break without seeing an advertisement for some sort of prescription drug. The prescription drug industry has exploded in the past decade, and Zoloft, Prozac, and Ritalin are now part of most Americans’ vocabulary. While there is something to be said for the positive benefits medications have to offer, they are certainly not quick fix on the road to happiness. Before asking your doctor about the latest mood-altering drug you saw on television or in a magazine, consider seeking therapy and using self-improvement strategies to alter your moods instead. Even if prescription drugs are a feasible option for your treatment plan, it’s important to remember that they are not a cure-all. Healing takes time and a repertoire of varying strategies in order to truly come about.

Myth 4: It’s Hip to Be Forever Young

The world today is filled with Peter Pans – adults who don’t want to grow up. Whether they are lacking in emotional maturity or in wrinkles, growing old has become a faux pas for a lot of people. Don’t get the wrong idea. It’s great to feel young at heart and to be physically fit, but it’s possible to do so and still age gracefully. Aging with class involves learning from your past. What’s the point of a life long-lived if you want to act like a child and look like one, too? Gray hair, laugh lines, and a cultivated point of view are things to be embraced, not shunned.

Myth 5: You Can Do It All

Society tends to tell us that multitasking and the ability to juggle lots of things at once is a good thing, but when you have too many things in the air, something is bound to get dropped. Ambition is a good thing, but you have to know when enough is enough. Yes, it’s possible to be a wife, a mother, a businesswoman, and the best baker at the church bazaar, but it’s also okay to say no when your best friend asks you to help her plan a charity gala. When you take on more than you can handle, the quality of your projects often suffers. Don’t feel pressured to be a yes-man. Even the best of us can’t do it all.

There are so many self-improvement blogs, magazines, and websites out there these days, everyone has an opinion on the way you should be living your life. It’s important not to focus on the myths flooding the media but to analyze your situations carefully and live the way that is right for you.

NEWSFLASH: I’ve added another chapter to my life by joining C.A.S.T. Recovery, a Los Angeles based national outpatient drug rehab program which specializes in designing highly individualized recovery plans with appropriate professionals to support a client’s health, accountability, and success.

Please subscribe to the Slow Down FAST RSS feed:

Bookmark to:

Hide Sites

Maybe it’s not your biological clock that’s keeping the Sandman away. It could be that elements of your life that are in disarray. Check out these six tips for sleeping better if you’re one of the millions of Americans that tosses and turns at bedtime each night.

Know Where You’re Going

The future is always uncertain, but setting goals makes the unknown a bit more tangible. When you have goals to progressively work toward achieving, you then have a map directing you to where you want to be. Although unexpected challenges and bumps in the road are certain to arise, you will sleep better at night knowing that you have a plan.

Bend a Little

Since life is unpredictable, being able to react with flexibility and open-mindedness when a curveball is thrown your way is essential to living — and sleeping — well. Having a plan is necessary, but you can’t react with shock and awe when things don’t go as you expected. Build room into your goals for unforeseen challenges and your worries will no longer be able to keep you up at night.

Make Sound Decisions

You’ve heard of buyer’s remorse – the guilt a consumer feels when he purchases something he later regrets. The truth is, any kind of remorse, buyer’s or otherwise, can affect your sleep patterns. When you feel guilty about a decision you made during waking hours, that decision will certainly haunt you when you lay your head down to sleep. That is why it is important to make sound decisions based on solid logic and reasoning. Impulsive actions are often the ones that cause the most grief, so you should avoid making large leaps on the spur of the moment. Though it is impossible to predict the results of every action, if you take care to think things through before acting, you can feel secure in knowing you did everything possible to ensure a positive outcome.

Don’t Fret About Finances

Money is one of the most stressed-over subjects among career-minded adults, but, as Cyndi Lauper sang, “money isn’t everything.” Being smart about how you manage your money, including knowing when to say enough is enough, is a great way to schedule some surefire z’s. Whether you have the luxury of working only part-time, or whether you must work a 50-hour week to pay the bills, you have to be at peace with what’s in your wallet at the end of the day. Maybe you can’t put a down payment on the house of your dreams just yet, but with diligence and some spending smarts, you might achieve that goal in a year’s time. Meanwhile, don’t let your bank account balance dictate the amount of rest you get.

Cut Out the Drama

There’s a reason Hollywood drama queens need professional makeup artists – to cover up the dark circles under their eyes that result from getting no sleep! High-drama celebrities might be able to last on four hours of sleep per night, but if drama in your life is allowing you only twenty instead of forty winks, it may be time to ask what all the fuss is about. There’s no denying that drama can be exciting, but it is also mentally draining. Seek out the source of your dramatic vibes and seriously consider whether it’s worth keeping in your life.

Put Off Today What Can Wait Until Tomorrow

Fact: There are only 24 hours in a day. If you attempt to spend 20 of those hours being productive or even worrying about how you weren’t productive enough, it’s sure to cause turmoil in your sleep life. When you feel overwhelmed with the amount of things you have to accomplish in a short period of time, that’s when you must prioritize. What must be done immediately, and what can wait? When you decide what can be put off, commit to that decision! Losing sleep over what you haven’t yet accomplished is just as bad as trying to cram too many things into too little time.

Though physical stressors are often the culprits when it comes to lack of sleep, emotional and mental dilemmas can play a huge factor in your sleep life as well. Next time your lavender-vanilla aromatherapy spray isn’t helping you drift off to dreamland, consider evaluating your life using the above factors and attempt to get a better rest the next night.

Please subscribe to the Slow Down FAST RSS feed:

Bookmark to:

Hide Sites

The 21st-century world can be a dangerous place. The wide reach of the Internet and other technological developments makes people more interconnected than ever before. Though this interconnectedness can oftentimes be a positive thing, it opens the doors for identity thieves, child predators, and scam artists to take advantage of unsuspecting victims.

Furthermore, when news headlines are filled with stories of morally bankrupt business leaders and dishonest politicians, it makes the path to righteousness seem like an uphill battle. However, you can start the climb and hopefully have an effect on others by buckling down and beginning to live right.

Know Your Ten Commandments

The Ten Commandments brought down by Moses from Mount Sinai are often referenced when people cite their personal rules for living. Whether or not you use the Bible as your ethical measuring tape, it is important to have your own code of ethics to live by.

Survey your life and the world around you. What do you believe is right or wrong? Subjects such as abortion and the death penalty are hotly contested moral issues in the public eye, but when it comes to how you live on a daily basis, attempt to formulate guidelines that you feel comfortable with and then put them into action.

Find Your Purpose

If you work full-time, you likely spend over 2,000 hours at your place of employment in one year. Sure, some of those hours are spent eating lunch and chatting with colleagues around the water cooler, but the bulk of your time spent at work is used to contribute to your company’s purpose. When you spend such a huge amount of time on something, isn’t it only natural that you should feel useful in your position?

If you don’t feel fulfilled and like you have a purpose at work, it could be time to seek out a change that will allow you to feel more satisfied. Think of your personal code of ethics and what you value. Do you see these values coming into play in your work week? Having a job that helps you feel constructive and effective in the broader sense of things will certainly help you on your way to living right.

Do Unto Others…

Everyone knows the Golden Rule, “do unto others as you would have others do unto you,” but not everyone lives by it. It’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind and let stress rule your attitude and the way you treat others, but living right requires a determination to override negative feelings and focus on treating others with respect.

So, the next time your server at a restaurant brings you a hamburger cooked medium-well instead of the rare you asked for, or a newly licensed teenager rear-ends you at a traffic light, think back to a time when you got yourself into a situation that required a little grace and channel that energy.

Give Back

Anyone who has spent time volunteering can tell you that to give is better than to receive. No matter what stage of life you are in – rich or poor, young or old – opportunities abound in your community to help those in need. Volunteering can be a one-day, one-year, or even one-hour commitment, but its impact is sure to last much longer.

If you have plenty to give but don’t know where to allocate your resources, try searching the VolunteerMatch website. VolunteerMatch allows you to search by location and also by keyword. You can even search for virtual volunteering opportunities! Whether you choose to donate blood, tutor a child, or build a home, giving back to your community is a surefire way to start living right.

Buckling down and living right is not a fast process, but it certainly is a life-changing one. Don’t underestimate the power of your own resolve and the changes you can make in the world. Begin by analyzing your personal code of ethics and finding a purpose in your work, but continue the process by treating others how you would like to be treated and giving back to your community.

In the end, you will find your own life has been changed and the positive ripples that flow outward from your actions will in turn change the lives of others.

Please subscribe to the Slow Down FAST RSS feed:

Bookmark to:

Hide Sites

by David Bohl

When you visit the same place at the same time for forty hours a week, complacency can slowly creep in. Complacency in the workplace is difficult to handle because, while you may feel comfortable and secure in your position, someone else could be waiting in the wings to dethrone you.

Even if you know there is no competition for your job, complacency can eventually lead to lack of motivation and maybe even laziness. Read on to determine if you may be too comfortable in your job and find out ways to get your groove back.

Have you ever heard the saying, “dress for the job you want, not the job you have”? Appearance plays a bigger role than you may think in the way you are perceived. Many businesses have shifted towards a more relaxed dress code, and “casual Friday” has turned into “casual Monday through Friday.”

However, despite your workplace’s dress code or lack thereof, you should always make a conscious effort to ensure that your choice of clothing, hairstyle, and grooming habits reflect the image you want to project. If you come to work in jeans and t-shirts and expect to be promoted to a supervisory position, you may want to think again. No matter how comfortable you feel with your coworkers and superiors, don’t let your physical appearance at the office fall by the wayside.

More importantly than the way you look, though, is your job performance. If you are too secure in your workplace niche, you most likely have no ambition to go above and beyond what is asked of you. You manage the hand you are dealt and are hesitant or possibly even unwilling to take on anything extra. While fulfilling your job requirements and doing them well is certainly admirable, employees who only do the bare minimum are rarely the ones who quickly advance up the corporate ladder.

What’s even more worrying is that if the economy’s downward trend happens to have an effect on your company’s profits and there is a need to make cuts, the first employees to be let go may be those who do not bring anything extra to the table. Careers are all about contributing to your company’s success while showing off your talents and reaching your maximum potential as an employee, so becoming too relaxed can be a real threat to both cases.

So, what should you do if you exhibit some of the dangerous signs of workplace complacency? Curing complacency is not as complicated as it may sound. Think of your job as a marriage of sorts. After ten years of being with the same person, some of the magic is inevitably lost. You have to get creative and work to spice things up.

The same is true for your place of employment. If you feel you are getting too comfortable with your situation at work, make a change. Ask for a new assignment or to take on new responsibilities. Try a change of scenery by switching cubicles or working from home, if possible. Even think of a purchasing new, smart suit or stylish outfit to wear to work and catch the eye of higher-ups.

Furthermore, set goals. Envision where you would like to be, career-wise, in five years. Then, make monthly, weekly, and even daily commitments to help you reach your objectives. Begin working toward your goals and chipping away at your complacency. Soon, you will realize that your job can be much more fulfilling and satisfying when you truly have a desire to perform your daily tasks!

Please subscribe to the Slow Down FAST RSS feed:

Bookmark to:

Hide Sites

You know that when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. But sometimes, when the going gets rough, there’s no money for sugar and the lemonade ends up tasting sour.

A bad analogy, perhaps, but the point is that making it through the hard times in life is not always as easy as the clichés make it sound. Trials and tribulations are inevitable, so it’s not the lack of trouble in your life but rather how you weather the storms that really counts.

First, when you sense a storm is brewing, take a tip from the sailors of the world and batten down the hatches! Sometimes storms seemingly come out of nowhere, but almost always, there are signs that danger is on the horizon. The sky gets dark, the wind picks up, and there is that unidentifiable ominous feeling in the air. Furthermore, there are people in your life who may even tell you a storm is on its way.

You wouldn’t leave the sunroof on your car wide open when the weatherman calls for a 90% chance of rain. Similarly, you shouldn’t ignore your boss’s warnings that your company is going under and then act surprised when a pink slip lands on your desk. When you sense that things in your life are about to go awry, don’t ignore your feelings! Take initiative and do what you can to prepare yourself for the eventual downturn.

When the storm you have braced yourself for rears its ugly head, be brave. Don’t run when you feel the first drop of rain. After all, you’re not the Wicked Witch of the West, and a little water won’t make you melt. Hiding from your troubles will only cripple your ability to properly analyze them and predict their consequences. Needless to say, that doesn’t mean you should run out into the midst of a category 4 hurricane, but if you can, find a safe place where you can face what you’re dealing with head-on. If your predicament doesn’t disappear right away, have patience and wait it out. No storm can last forever, so it’s important to press on until the sun peeks out from behind the clouds once again.

After the storm has passed, it’s time to survey the damages. Whether a tornado came careening into your life and swept away everything in the blink of an eye or floodwaters rose and are still slowly seeping away, you need to take stock of what can be fixed and in what areas you need to start from scratch. As heartbreaking as this process may be, it’s an important part of recovery. Facing the facts will not only allow you to determine your next step, but it will help you to see what your areas of weakness are and how you can improve your preparations for the next time around.

Lastly, when the rain is gone and you have picked up the pieces, it’s time to look for the rainbow. Something positive almost always stems from the negative occurrences in life, if only you are willing to see it. Maybe being fired from your job has allowed you to be home more often to spend time with your children. Your relative’s death may give you a new appreciation for life and the loved ones who are still with you.

Whatever the case may be, those who are willing to look on the bright side have a much easier time coping with hardships. After all, it’s been said that there are no roses without thorns, no sunshine without shadows, and no mountains without valleys. Now there’s a cliché with some truth to it!

Please subscribe to the Slow Down FAST RSS feed:

Bookmark to:

Hide Sites

~ Aristotle

I was shocked to read a recent study that reported less than 30% of people interviewed said they were deeply happy, and that 25% of Americans and 27% of Europeans claimed they are depressed. As a naturally happy person, I was amazed at how many unhappy people there are. Generally when I work with my coaching clients, they are not unhappy about everything in their life; they usually just have one area they are working on or one challenge to overcome.

So why are so many people unhappy? And why are so many people just going through the motions, appearing to be happy, pretending to be happy, when they’re really not?

The first step in determining if you’re happy or how happy you are is to define happiness. To some, it means doing what they want, having what they want, and being who they want, that is, fulfilling their dreams and desires. To others, it’s a state of mind that is not dependent on the outside world, but more on an inner contentment. And to still others, it’s about being responsible for their choices and accepting responsibility for whatever shows up in their lives, even if it didn’t seem like a conscious choice.

Ultimately, happiness can be defined as an emotional state, a feeling of peace, contentment, well being, joy, and connection. Most people have felt happy at some point in their lives, maybe under certain circumstances. They started a new relationship, won a valuable gift, or reached a worthwhile goal. The secret to continuing and lasting happiness I have found, is in knowing you can CHOOSE to be happy–in any circumstance, for any reason, and for no reason.

Have you ever taken a “time out” to check in with yourself to see if you’re really happy or just going through the motions? You know what I mean. People ask you every day, “Hi. How are you?” and you unconsciously say, “Fine,” when that may not be the case at all. Or you “put on a happy face” at work or with your family, just to “keep the peace,” to avoid conflicts or explanations. Or to avoid looking inside to figure out why you’re not really all that happy–at least not as happy as you appear to be. What I notice with people who are just going through the motions, is that they’ve become disconnected from their feelings. For whatever reason–traumas, upsets, frustrations–they’ve shut down and are walking zombies, the living dead.

Once you’ve shut down your feelings, it will take awareness and desire to reignite them and reconnect to your feelings. So how can you determine if you’re really happy or just going through the motions? And how can you choose more happiness in your life? Here are some ideas that I’ve used successfully with my clients.

1. Define happiness for yourself:

Knowing your own definition of happiness can help you assess your level of happiness. Some people have described happiness as lightness, aliveness, flow, love, passion, gratitude, being present, being responsible, open, accepting, optimistic, free, and connected. Until you establish your own definition, it will be difficult to determine how happy you are.

2. Examine your lifestyle:

Are you doing what you love, living where you want, hanging around people you enjoy? If not, why not? Although happiness starts from within, a lot of people gauge their level of happiness on what satisfactions they receive from the outside world. If you’re not enjoying the work you do five days a week, it’s no wonder you’re not happy! If you hate the city where you live, the house you live in, or your neighbors, you have good cause for unhappiness. And if you’re surrounded by a lot of negative people, that will drain anyone’s ability to be happy. Change the circumstances of your life that you can, so you can start bringing in more reasons to be happy.

3. Check your attitude:

Although the nice things in life bring us happiness, like our home, car, clothing, job, and people, if we have a negative attitude in general, we won’t even find happiness in the things we love. The happiest people are loving, accepting, giving, positive, optimistic, and live in the present rather than the past or future. Happiness is a moment-by-moment choice, which can only be made in the present. And yes, happiness can be a choice. I’ve seen some of my clients turn their attitudes around once they decided they could and they would choose to be happy–regardless of life circumstances. I know that sounds like a big leap, but just know it is possible.

4. Look at your relationships:

Relationships are one of the most common sources for our happiest times. Intimate relationships especially provide us with a deep connection that in most cases allows us to feel loved and appreciated. We can also have satisfying relationships that add to our happiness with our family, friends, associates, pets, and most importantly ourselves. I also notice that people who give to others, especially through charity work, are deeply happy.

5. Set happiness goals:

Are you committed to being happier? Do you want to get to the bottom of why you’re just going through the motions, why you’ve buried your feelings? Then it’s time to take action. Read some books, take some classes, work with a coach, meditate, journal, spend time in contemplation. Create your action plan for building a happier life. It’s your choice!

What Does Happiness Mean to You? 

Explore the possibilities with the Happiness Trilogy from Slow Down Fast. Self-Coaching in electronic format. Includes tons of tips, tricks and exercises designed to help you become the master of your own destiny and orchestrator of your personal well being!

Please subscribe to the Slow Down FAST RSS feed:

Bookmark to:

Hide Sites

Here are the 12 Most-Read Numbered Posts in 2008 at Slow Down FAST:

12.    5 Tips for Becoming a Better Listener
11.    5 Qualities of Successful Relationships
10.    6 Ways for Effecting Change in Your Life
9.      6 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Busting Out of the Rat Race
8.      5 Signs It’s Time to Slow Down Fast
7.      6 Ways to Be a Friend Without Involving Money, Gifts or Obligation
6.      5 Ways to Reconnect to Your Inner Child
5.      10 Great Productivity Web Sites
4.      5 Signs You’re a Pleaser and What to Do About It
3.      5 Simple Tricks To Make You Smarter
2.      8 Essential Ingredients to Master Your Time
1.      The Causes and Cures of Procrastination

Thank you all for your support throughout the year, and best wishes in all your future endeavors.

Bookmark to:

Hide Sites

So, after 700+ posts in 2008, I’m publishing the 12 Most Read Posts at Slow Down FAST so we can all get a jump on the new year.

Thank you all for your support throughout the year.

Here they are:

1. The Causes and Cures of Procrastination
2. Mindhacks: 5 Ways to Increase Creativity, Productivity and Intelligence
3. How to Overcome the #1 Fear: Public Speaking
4. 8 Essential Ingredients to Master Your Time
5. Do Not Wage Psychological Warfare
6. Stuck in a Rut? Fire Up Your Creativity with These 7 Steps
7. What Are You Passionate About?
8. See How Easily You Can Handle Change
9. How to Maintain Professional Boundaries
10. 5 Simple Tricks To Make You Smarter
11. 5 Signs You’re a Pleaser and What to Do About It
12. From Greedy to Grateful – Appreciating What You Have

Please subscribe to the Slow Down FAST RSS feed:   

Bookmark to:

Hide Sites

When Halloween candy hits the shelves before Labor Day and animatronic Santas are ho-ho-ho-ing at you before you’ve even had a chance to carve your Thanksgiving turkey, it’s hard not to feel rushed through the holiday season. However, difficult as it may be to pause and reflect on the meaning of the holidays, it is certainly beneficial.

If you feel like the time between Halloween and Christmas is nothing more than a blur before your eyes, try a few of these tips to slow down and enjoy your holidays this year.

Edit Out the Non-Essentials

So many holiday traditions and customs nowadays are done more so out of a feeling of obligation than a meaningful sentiment. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed with the amount of items you must complete in time for the holidays, it may be time to step back and ask yourself what is truly significant and what is simply holiday fluff. If you and your family don’t genuinely enjoy the two hours spent watching It’s a Wonderful Life, why bother watching it only out of tradition? Why not use that time to do something more productive and, hopefully, more enjoyable? Look at your holiday plans with a critical eye and try to eliminate anything that isn’t meaningful or necessary. Editing a few items from your to-do list will allow you to legitimately enjoy the items you do choose to include.

Share the Responsibilities

Unfortunately, holiday meals don’t prepare themselves, presents don’t come pre-wrapped, and the angel doesn’t climb to the top of the tree on its own. It takes a lot of time and effort behind the scenes to end up with the “ideal” holiday festivities. Attempting to do all of this work on your own can be stressful to say the least and maybe even impossible. This year, instead of running around like a gingerbread man with his head cut off, dole out some of the responsibilities to others. Take advantage of the free gift-wrapping service at department stores. Try hosting a potluck dinner instead of cooking everything on your own. Sharing the holiday responsibilities will allow you to avoid rushing through the season with the sole purpose of checking things off of your to-do list.

Take a “Staycation”

“Staycations,” or vacations where you stay at home, have become popular in the past few years due to the rising costs of travel. Not only will a staycation save you money, but it will allow you the time to spend on your holiday obligations and find time for some holiday fun, as well. Balancing work and personal time around the holidays can be especially difficult because you may feel pressured to earn extra money to make up for the additional expenses at this time of year. Still, you may want to analyze whether it would be more reasonable to cut back on a few expenditures and limit your hours in the workplace simultaneously. Holidays are a time to be spent with family and friends, not to feel bogged down with duties and deadlines. A staycation may be just what you need to allow yourself time to relax and savor the holiday moments.

This winter, whether you celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, or Kwanzaa, don’t forget to slow down and enjoy the celebration. Rushing through the holidays will only leave you going through the motions without having time to truly take pleasure in all of the festivities. To avoid having the holidays breeze by faster than a speeding bullet, try editing your to-do list, sharing some of your responsibilities, and taking a stay-at-home vacation if you can. Surely you won’t regret it.

Please subscribe to my RSS feed:

Bookmark to:

Hide Sites

~ Deepak Chopra, The Spontaneous Fulfillment Of Desire

Unfortunately one of the most common phrases in our language is “I can’t.” People say, “I can’t be that,” “I can’t do that,” and “I can’t have that” more often than they realize. And more often than they would if they knew how it kept them from being open to the possibility for more in their lives.

The more you look for reasons WHY you “can’t” be, do, or have what you want, the more you limit your chances for WHY NOT? Why not be the way you want to be? Why not do what you want to do? Why not have what you want to have?

Do you really know the answer to those questions? The answer is: because YOU say so! Only you limit what you can be, do, and have. Only you and your limited thinking, your limited attitude, your limits on what you think is possible are holding you back.

When I coach my clients who are stuck in their limits, I offer then some tools on how to change their why’s into why nots. Here are some ideas you might experiment with to become more positive, to shift your viewpoint, and to take control of your life–so it is the life YOU want!

1. Get clear about what you want.

What do you really want to be, do, and have? Clarity is power and the more clear you are about what you want, the more you can be, do, and have what you want. Let’s say you want to start a home-based business doing career coaching for early retiring baby boomers. Now that’s pretty clear. If you are surrounded by naysayers, or you’re a naysayer yourself, you’ll come up with reasons WHY you can’t do it. The kids will be a distraction, you need start up capital, you don’t know where you’ll find clients. To shift into the WHY NOT mode, imagine yourself successfully helping people independently as you did in your previous corporate jobs. See yourself at home working with no distractions, having people call you every day to help them. When you see the clear picture of your goal accomplished, you can more easily step into it.

2. Get support, ask others.

There are plenty of other people who are being, doing, and having what they want. Have you asked them how they got there? Do they complain about WHY they can’t do things? Or do they have a WHY NOT attitude? When they hit obstacles, do they go around them? When they have setbacks, do they re-group and learn from their missteps? When they don’t know how to do something, do they get educated or ask someone who knows? A really quick way to change your why’s into why nots is to have a mentor, coach, guide, teacher, or partner. Others have walked the path you are seeking and most will be thrilled to pass on their secrets. They’ll even support you by catching you in your “I can’ts” and remind you why you can!

3. Make a list.

I don’t know about you, but I love lists. They help me put everything into perspective and get a good look at what’s what. Where am I and where do I want to go? What’s in my way, either in reality or in my mind? I coach my clients to list the pros and cons of whatever they’re stuck with. Why can’t I have my home-based business? Too much distraction, not enough capital, no client connections… Why not have my home-based business? I can use the extra bedroom and close the door, I can take a small business loan, I can network in targeted organizations… When you look at your lists, you’ll start to see the limits are made up in your mind. When you adopt the “why not” go ahead and do this anyway attitude, you’ll see that there are solutions to every imagined problem–after all, they aren’t based in reality, only your imagination.

4. Practice affirmations and visualizations.

In my experience, as well as that of many accomplished personal growth practitioners like Louise Hay and Wayne Dyer, affirmations and visualizations are two powerful tools to shift anyone’s mindset–at least if they’re ready to shift! An affirmation is a positive statement. If you have been saying, “I can’t start a home-based business,” your affirmation to change that thought or belief would be “I can start a home-based business.” Because the truth is you can, and anyone can. Your visualization would be to see yourself waking up each morning, and walking into your home office, answering emails, setting appointments, etc. See your peaceful, organized work environment, see lots of satisfied clients, and see your bank account growing. Combining affirmations with visualizations for just five minutes a day will help you change your why’s to why nots.

5. Shift your focus.

If you are a “glass half empty” thinker, it’s time for you to shift your focus to the “glass half full.” This takes a conscious choice, but it’s nothing more than changing a habit. And thinking the worst is a habit that can be changed like any other habit into thinking the best. Some authorities say it takes 21 days of focus to change a habit. I believe it takes as long as it takes, often less, sometimes more. Just know that any habit CAN be changed–if you want to change and if you do the practice. Is it worth it? You bet it is! As you approach life with your new “why not” attitude, nothing will ever again be beyond your reach. And you will live your life being, doing, and having all that you desire.

Turn Thoughts into Action with Personal Coaching

From spot coaching to unlimited lifestyle design, there’s something here to fit your needs. Explore our coaching plans today, then get in touch to schedule your first talk with David Bohl.

Please subscribe to my RSS feed:

Call David Bohl Today!

(866) 538-3226 or (262) 538-1300

Bookmark to:

Hide Sites