We are told to strive for unattainable lifestyles and to model ourselves after unrealistic, airbrushed models.

Sometimes you need to step back from this virtual reality and ponder what life is really about. Will that Mercedes or those anti-anxiety medications really make you happier, or are they only temporary solutions to deeper issues? Examine these five myths about how you should be living your life and start living the way you want to live.

Myth 1: Material Things Prove Your Worth

Someone once said, “One reason it’s so hard to save money is that our neighbors are always buying something we can’t afford.” Keeping up with the Joneses is certainly no way to live, and the desire to do so stems from a belief that material things prove your worth. Extravagant clothing, houses, and cars oftentimes serve as status symbols in today’s society, but when it comes down to it, what you have in your heart and mind is worth much more than what you’ve got in your wallet. Furthermore, comparing yourself financially to your friends and family will only cause envy and strife. Remember that while luxuries may be enjoyable, they don’t make you who you are.

Myth 2: You Should Always Take an Expert’s Opinion at Face Value

How many times have you taken your car in for a simple oil change, only to be told you need hundreds of dollars worth of repairs in other areas? Have you taken the mechanic’s word for it and shelled out the cash or gone in for a second opinion elsewhere? We tend to rely on experts for advice, whether they are doctors, lawyers, financial consultants, or repairmen, but you can’t forget that even though they are experts, they still don’t know everything. You always retain the power to do your own research or seek out another form of advice. You may find that separate individuals offer different yet complementary opinions that allow you to shape a more informed decision on the issue you are having.

Myth 3: When in Doubt, Medicate

It’s hard to make it through a 2-minute commercial break without seeing an advertisement for some sort of prescription drug. The prescription drug industry has exploded in the past decade, and Zoloft, Prozac, and Ritalin are now part of most Americans’ vocabulary. While there is something to be said for the positive benefits medications have to offer, they are certainly not quick fix on the road to happiness. Before asking your doctor about the latest mood-altering drug you saw on television or in a magazine, consider seeking therapy and using self-improvement strategies to alter your moods instead. Even if prescription drugs are a feasible option for your treatment plan, it’s important to remember that they are not a cure-all. Healing takes time and a repertoire of varying strategies in order to truly come about.

Myth 4: It’s Hip to Be Forever Young

The world today is filled with Peter Pans – adults who don’t want to grow up. Whether they are lacking in emotional maturity or in wrinkles, growing old has become a faux pas for a lot of people. Don’t get the wrong idea. It’s great to feel young at heart and to be physically fit, but it’s possible to do so and still age gracefully. Aging with class involves learning from your past. What’s the point of a life long-lived if you want to act like a child and look like one, too? Gray hair, laugh lines, and a cultivated point of view are things to be embraced, not shunned.

Myth 5: You Can Do It All

Society tends to tell us that multitasking and the ability to juggle lots of things at once is a good thing, but when you have too many things in the air, something is bound to get dropped. Ambition is a good thing, but you have to know when enough is enough. Yes, it’s possible to be a wife, a mother, a businesswoman, and the best baker at the church bazaar, but it’s also okay to say no when your best friend asks you to help her plan a charity gala. When you take on more than you can handle, the quality of your projects often suffers. Don’t feel pressured to be a yes-man. Even the best of us can’t do it all.

There are so many self-improvement blogs, magazines, and websites out there these days, everyone has an opinion on the way you should be living your life. It’s important not to focus on the myths flooding the media but to analyze your situations carefully and live the way that is right for you.

NEWSFLASH: I’ve added another chapter to my life by joining C.A.S.T. Recovery, a Los Angeles based national outpatient drug rehab program which specializes in designing highly individualized recovery plans with appropriate professionals to support a client’s health, accountability, and success.

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The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a leader as “a person who has commanding authority or influence.” Though this definition leaves room for leaders who influence their followers in a negative manner, such as Adolf Hitler, there are many leaders who have changed the world for good. In taking a page from the book of these modern-day leaders for positive change, you can improve upon your own life.

Oprah Winfrey

Oprah’s rags-to-riches rise to fame is a well-known story, especially since she has been noted as the most influential woman in the world. However, despite the fact that she can afford the best of the best, Oprah has remained true to her humble roots. Being at the head of a media empire as large as hers has subjected her to criticism and mocking, whether aimed at her weight, her romantic life, or her choice of reading material, but Oprah has found a way to succeed in spite of the naysayers. Through all of her ups and downs in the public eye, Oprah has upheld her own values and done things the way she believed was right. Take a tip from Oprah and follow your gut. It doesn’t mean you will be without hardships or criticisms, but when you do achieve something great, you’ll know it was because you stayed true to yourself.

Martin Luther King Jr.

Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech is one of the most quoted and most recognized speeches in all of history. At the time in American history when Martin Luther King Jr. spoke his famous words, the climate was tense and racially charged. Yet somehow, Dr. King remained a dreamer. He did not give up hope that one day his mission would be accomplished. Though his life met a tragic and early end, Dr. King should inspire you to dare to dream. When you allow yourself to have hope for the future, you never know when your dreams will come true.

Bono

It may be trendy to go by a one-word name, but Bono has done much more for the world than just following in the footsteps of Cher or Madonna. He is known as one of the world’s most prominent philanthropists and is often seen singing at benefit shows or acting as a spokesperson for charitable organizations. The lesson to learn from Bono is an obvious one – remember those less fortunate than you. Whether you have been blessed with unfathomable riches or you barely earn more than minimum wage, everyone can find something to give back to the global community. You’ll find that not only are you changing the lives of others when you give your time or money, but you’re also bettering yourself.

Al Gore

Al Gore has come a long way since losing the 2000 presidential election by a narrow margin. Whether you are a Republican, Democrat, or Libertarian, you have to acknowledge that for someone to spend the amount of time as is required to run for President of the United States and then lose in such a closely contended race as Mr. Gore, the result must be devastating. However, in the year 2008, the tides have turned. Al Gore is now a Nobel Prize winner and a well-known advocate for the fight against global warming. After his loss in the presidential race, he regrouped and found a way to follow his passion. In the same way, when you experience a disappointment in life, don’t give up. Use your setback to reevaluate your goals and find opportunities for future successes.

Bill Gates

A lot can be said about Bill Gates’ accomplishments as a businessman and a philanthropist. He is the richest American and one of the most well-known entrepreneurs ever. However, as much as Mr. Gates’ fame and fortune have brought him, he chose to step down as chief executive officer of Microsoft in 2000. You’d think it would be easy to become a workaholic when your company is as successful as his, but Bill Gates chose to pass on his obligations as a full-time Microsoft leader and pursue other opportunities. Similarly, even if you don’t have the luxury to retire early, make sure to maintain a balance between your work life and your personal life. No matter how successful you are in your career, you won’t be able to keep up “all work and no play” forever.

New leaders emerge each and every day in the world. They come from different walks of life and can teach you different lessons about how to succeed. The leaders in this article have been successful in their endeavors to change the world. By learning from the way they live their lives, you too can become a mover and a shaker.

Find Your True Calling and Be Happy.

David Bohl is offering The Happiness Trilogy as an alternative to personal coaching. Three self-improvement guides, packaged together at one low price. Includes “Your Life in Balance,” “The Goal Book,” and “Your Personal Mission Statement.” Learn more and order today!

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NEWSFLASH: I’ve added another chapter to my life by joining C.A.S.T. Recovery, a Los Angeles based outpatient drug rehab program which specializes in designing highly individualized recovery plans with appropriate professionals to support a client’s health, accountability, and success.

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As citizens of the world, each of us is responsible for the health of our planet. Our choices and our actions contribute to the well being or deterioration of the environment. Yet, it’s our earth, the only one we have. If we don’t care about the environment, who will?

Who will preserve the quality of the air? Who will restore our natural resources? Who will help make the planet safe for many generations to come? You will! Anyone and everyone can participate in making our world a safer, less harmful place.

Have you ever thought about how your choices affect the earth’s well being and how you can minimize the impact you and your family make on the environment? From the cars you drive to the products you consume, every choice you make on a daily basis has a consequence for the environment.

Why should you care about the environment?

How about for your health and the health of your children? How about for your quality of life and that of other citizens of the planet? How about for the choices you have of resources that are now being depleted? How about for the air you breathe and the water you drink?

Our natural environment becomes unbalanced and unsustainable when it is polluted and stripped of its natural resources by over-consumption. Our lives are at stake as we find our health being affected by environmental toxins in the air, water, and foods we consume. Our earth is a fragile planet with limited resources. The growing threat of climatic changes means everyone from individuals to businesses must reassess their environmental impact and daily choices.

If you don’t think this situation is critical, here are some facts to consider:

• We use 50% of the Earth’s land area for food production and 50% of the Earth’s available fresh water for drinking.
• The main source of water pollution is not chemical waste but the excrement of farm animals.
• About 70% of the world’s marine species are at risk of extinction.
• By the year 2100, extinction may reach one third of all species now living.
• Animals raised for food currently generate between 15 and 20% of methane emissions globally.
• Every ton of recycled office paper saves 380 gallons of oil.
• Around 50 million tons of paper are consumed annually by Americans, more than 850 million trees are cut down.
• Each year, over 63,000 square miles are destroyed resulting in more than half the world’s tropical forests being lost.

We are changing the climate and health of the planet by our every choice. What can you do to show you care about the environment and contribute to its health and longevity? Lots. Here are just a few suggestions. For more ways to save the environment, check some books out of the library or do some online research.

1. Conserve energy at home.

Fix leaky faucets, turn off lights and appliances when not in use, and buy energy efficient products. Check showerheads and toilets for leaks, and consider low flow models. Reduce the settings on water heaters and household thermostats; limit use of air conditioning. Make sure your home is efficiently insulated.

2. Reduce, reuse, recycle.

Dispose of harmful materials properly, re-use or recycle things you no longer need, and place recyclables in proper bins for pick up. For every ton of paper recycled, 17 trees are saved.

3. Buy safe products.

Don’t support toxic materials such as home improvement products like paint with lead or food products with pesticides. Buy organic produce when possible, and learn what products are safest for your consumption and for the health of the planet.

4. Drive conservatively.

Carpool or take public transportation when you can, and consolidate your trips for gas conservation. Observe speed limits, and avoid rapid acceleration and excessive breaking and idling. Ride a bike and walk for local errands. Research how you can reduce carbon emissions by keeping your car in top shape. Keep tires properly inflated to improve gas mileage. Every 10 days, drivers with under-inflated tires and poorly maintained engines waste 70 million gallons of gasoline.

5. Green up your life.

Switch to solar energy at home if feasible, grow as much of your own food as you can, use natural fiber clothing, and make your own cleaning and beauty care products.

Educate yourself as much as possible about the environmental issues that concern every earth citizen, and start taking actions that show you care about the environment. Be a role model and leader for others. Each individual contributes to the success of the whole. Go green now!

For an informative slide show on the environment visit: www.colleges.org/enviro/workshops/2006/WadeWorthen_WhySaveEnviro.ppt

For more facts about how you can preserve the environment check out these sites: www.worldwatch.org/node/3915 and www.usa.gov/Citizen/Facts/Facts_Environment.shtml.

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The 21st-century world can be a dangerous place. The wide reach of the Internet and other technological developments makes people more interconnected than ever before. Though this interconnectedness can oftentimes be a positive thing, it opens the doors for identity thieves, child predators, and scam artists to take advantage of unsuspecting victims.

Furthermore, when news headlines are filled with stories of morally bankrupt business leaders and dishonest politicians, it makes the path to righteousness seem like an uphill battle. However, you can start the climb and hopefully have an effect on others by buckling down and beginning to live right.

Know Your Ten Commandments

The Ten Commandments brought down by Moses from Mount Sinai are often referenced when people cite their personal rules for living. Whether or not you use the Bible as your ethical measuring tape, it is important to have your own code of ethics to live by.

Survey your life and the world around you. What do you believe is right or wrong? Subjects such as abortion and the death penalty are hotly contested moral issues in the public eye, but when it comes to how you live on a daily basis, attempt to formulate guidelines that you feel comfortable with and then put them into action.

Find Your Purpose

If you work full-time, you likely spend over 2,000 hours at your place of employment in one year. Sure, some of those hours are spent eating lunch and chatting with colleagues around the water cooler, but the bulk of your time spent at work is used to contribute to your company’s purpose. When you spend such a huge amount of time on something, isn’t it only natural that you should feel useful in your position?

If you don’t feel fulfilled and like you have a purpose at work, it could be time to seek out a change that will allow you to feel more satisfied. Think of your personal code of ethics and what you value. Do you see these values coming into play in your work week? Having a job that helps you feel constructive and effective in the broader sense of things will certainly help you on your way to living right.

Do Unto Others…

Everyone knows the Golden Rule, “do unto others as you would have others do unto you,” but not everyone lives by it. It’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind and let stress rule your attitude and the way you treat others, but living right requires a determination to override negative feelings and focus on treating others with respect.

So, the next time your server at a restaurant brings you a hamburger cooked medium-well instead of the rare you asked for, or a newly licensed teenager rear-ends you at a traffic light, think back to a time when you got yourself into a situation that required a little grace and channel that energy.

Give Back

Anyone who has spent time volunteering can tell you that to give is better than to receive. No matter what stage of life you are in – rich or poor, young or old – opportunities abound in your community to help those in need. Volunteering can be a one-day, one-year, or even one-hour commitment, but its impact is sure to last much longer.

If you have plenty to give but don’t know where to allocate your resources, try searching the VolunteerMatch website. VolunteerMatch allows you to search by location and also by keyword. You can even search for virtual volunteering opportunities! Whether you choose to donate blood, tutor a child, or build a home, giving back to your community is a surefire way to start living right.

Buckling down and living right is not a fast process, but it certainly is a life-changing one. Don’t underestimate the power of your own resolve and the changes you can make in the world. Begin by analyzing your personal code of ethics and finding a purpose in your work, but continue the process by treating others how you would like to be treated and giving back to your community.

In the end, you will find your own life has been changed and the positive ripples that flow outward from your actions will in turn change the lives of others.

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If you had a dime for every time someone told you, “life isn’t fair,” you might dethrone Warren Buffet from his seat as richest man in the world. Unfortunately, being aware of life’s inequities doesn’t prevent them. In fact, hardships are virtually guaranteed to occur — it’s just a matter of when and where. So, when disaster strikes, you usually have one of two options – crumble under the pressure or become a survivor. Survivors persevere, but perseverance may not come naturally.

To find out how to be a survivor, read this collection of characteristics of those who keep at it when life gets rough and apply them to your own life.

Ask Questions

Survivors don’t just sit back and let life happen to them. Even though they are in the midst of a breakdown, they use their intuition and ingenuity to pose questions about what is happening to them. And they aren’t simply asking, “why me?”. Survivors use questions to gather information about the situation they are in and how it can be resolved. They also ask questions to learn how to prevent problems from occurring in the future.

See Things in a Different Light

Have you ever been stumped by a brainteaser and decided to let the puzzle simmer in your brain and return to it later, only to come back and find that the answer was right in front of your eyes the whole time? In this same manner, it’s helpful to attempt to find new ways to solve old problems. Survivors don’t get burnt out trying to fit a square key in a circular lock. In other words, they don’t repeatedly try a solution that clearly isn’t helping to solve a problem. To become a survivor, you need to look at things from all perspectives in order to find the best possible resolution.

Be Flexible

One of the absolute pillars of being a survivor is being flexible. Most people are not expecting it when disaster strikes. Therefore, it might be necessary to change your plans to accommodate the new developments.

If you become stressed by the thought of altering your roadmap to life, you will only add to the difficulties that have already been presented to you. Instead, work hard to keep an open mind and bend, don’t break.

Plan Ahead

There is a difference between worrying and planning. Worrying does little to prepare you for future challenges. It only deprives you of the time spent fretting over impossible-to-predict scenarios. Planning, on the other hand, is a practice used by survivors to allow them to effectively handle hardships when they do occur. For instance, keeping a first-aid kit in your house is a positive way to be ready if someone gets hurt. Worrying about your child scraping her knees every time she leaves the house is not. Survivors certainly aren’t psychic, but their ability to make effective and quality plans in advance of trouble’s wake allows them to rise above the ashes when the flames have been put out.

Set Goals

Goal-setting is an excellent strategy that allows you to step back and view a situation from an outsider’s perspective. Survivors can remove themselves from what is happening to them and see things rationally, which allows them to make benchmarks for restoration. You can set goals for how to deal with current problems or how to handle them in future settings. The idea is that you use goal-setting as a tool to step out from behind the “victim” title and become someone who makes the most of what they’ve got.

There is no telling what sorts of trials and tribulations you will go through in life, but there are always options as to how you can deal with it when these trials occur. Perseverance may be difficult, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. To be a survivor, you must simply use techniques and tactics that allow you to tackle your problems effectively and with an eye to the future.

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You’re never too old to learn! Once we graduate from high school, college, or even beyond, many of us never take another class. We may have decided that school is meant for the youth of our culture, and we assume that for the rest of our lives, we’ll only be getting our lessons from the school of hard knocks. While it’s true we learn an awful lot from life experience–that is if we are open to the lessons–there’s every reason to continue learning in school, through books, and now even on the Internet.

The opportunities for learning today are unlimited. However you like to learn, there’s a way to do it. Whatever you want to learn, there’s a place to learn it.

How do you like to learn? Some of the ways include: going to school and taking classes; taking weekend seminars; reading books; listening to audio tapes; working with a coach or mentor; or taking an online class. Can you think of some other ways you like to learn?

What do you want to learn? For business you may want to keep up your learning in your industry; maintain your skill set in your area of expertise; or continue to study business skills if you run a business. For personal interests you might want to hone existing skills like golf or guitar; or you might want to take up a new hobby like ballroom dancing or a foreign language. What would you like to learn now as an adult?

Why should you keep your head in the learning game? Some people are information junkies and others are content with limited data. You might fall somewhere in between. The reason I’m in favor of ongoing learning is that we live in a time where information is more accessible than ever before and technological advances are causing rapid changes in the knowledge base. If you want to keep up with what’s going on in the world, in your personal life, and in your business or work environment, you’ve got to keep your head in the learning game.

If you’re still not sure what you could be learning about at this age and stage of your life, here are 5 areas I would suggest for your ongoing education:

1. Health – Staying healthy today can be somewhat complicated. What foods are best? What exercises can keep you fit? What healing methods are most effective? This kind of information changes on a daily basis. One day red wine is the panacea for all ills, the next day it’s a detriment to your health. One day running is the rage, the next it’s bad for your knees. The only way to keep abreast of the latest on health is to stay informed. Read books, journals, and periodicals; attend seminars, talks, and conferences. Pursue the areas that interest you most whether it’s traditional or alternative medicine.

2. Finances — Lately we have been going through challenging economic times. The better informed you are, the better chance you have of preserving your assets and knowing what to do with your finances now and in the future. Anyone can learn about saving, spending, and investing. There are more books and seminars available on these subjects than you can imagine. Whether you want to learn about starting and running a business, getting a loan or grant, budgeting and tracking your income and expenses, or investing in real estate, stocks, or bonds, someone is teaching this somewhere.

3. Career – If you own your own business or work as an employee, many opportunities present themselves to you for continuing education in your field of expertise. Often employers bring in training companies to keep their employees well trained in their skills and in their industry. Business owners have access to seminars, conferences, and teleclasses to keep up on their area of expertise as well as current business and marketing practices.

4. Relationships — If you’re in an intimate relationship, you and your spouse may enjoy taking classes together that either enhance your relationship or where you can learn something new like a sport or hobby. If you’re looking to build an intimate relationship, plenty of classes are available for singles looking for love in all the right places!

5. Leisure — As I’ve already mentioned, you may want to brush up on an existing skill or take up a new one. As boomers enter retirement, they need to stay active both physically and mentally. Continuing your education is one of the best ways to do this. A client of mine who was bored in retirement took a pottery class at the local adult school and showered his family and friends with his creations–whether or not they wanted them. He’d never done anything artistic in his life but became fairly accomplished at making mugs, vases, and sculptures.

What have you always wanted to learn but never had the time? What’s stopping you now? Keep your head in the learning game, and you’ll never be bored–or boring!

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by David Bohl

Congratulations! You’ve taken your destiny by the horns and decided to quit your job! The days of slogging to work, a mere shadow of your pre incarcerated self are over. No more weighing the pros and cons again and again. And again. You’ve parented yourself through pity, doubts, guilt and fear. And you’ve emerged finally, on the other side with clarity, vision and conviction.

It’s tempting to want to share your jubilance–after all, making major decisions is hard work, and everything’s sweeter when shared. But before you let your pent up bob-cat out of the bag, give pause to that inclination.

Consider first that upon hearing the news, your employer will respond in one (or some modified form) of the following ways:

Amicably.

In this case, you will most likely transition your responsibilities and possibly train your replacement over a traditional two week notice period.

With a counter offer, by proposing a raise or a promotion.

Here is where your resolve could be compromised if you are not prepared. Consider the sincerity of such proposals suspicious– especially if earlier you unsuccessfully requested these adjustments based on your own merit. Remember, offers like this are usually based solely on the company’s own best interests and could be misleading. If you choose to consider a counter offer, get everything in writing before accepting.

Immediate termination because of a perceived threat to the security of the company.

It is not unusual to be escorted to the door if your employer suspects that you have signed on with direct competition or if your current position gives you a high level of access to company secrets. Companies reserve and can exercise this right for no apparent reason when an employee resigns.

In any case, even if you are almost certain of its implausibility, you would be wise to be prepared for the worst case scenario. By assuming the mindset of your employer- that is, the impact of the news to their bottom line, you will protect and ensure your own successful transition, and in some ways minimize the fallout on your employer and your coworkers.

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Resolve to keep your intentions to yourself.

Be prepared for questions. It’s likely you will be asked why you are leaving, and where you are going. Resist the temptation to spill your list of resentments, judgments and policy grievances. More than likely, something you say will be taken to task or misunderstood, and you will find yourself drawn into a discussion in which you are not responsible to engage.

Remember, you don’t want to burn your bridges. You never know if or when this set of colleagues will reappear on your professional horizon. So say nothing that will jeopardize the relationships you have built. Also, keep your new destination to yourself in the (unlikely) possibility that someone will try to undermine your future employment before you even start. By remaining polite and respectful, you can stoically protect yourself from potential retaliation.

Get your financial ducks in a row.

Ensure your immediate financial security. If you have secured a new job, get it in writing. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that an employment offer letter will suffice. Until you have a signed contract, your professional and financial interests remain vulnerable. If you have opted to resign without a job in place, you might want to consider registering with one or more local temp or freelance employment agencies. Once you prove your dependability, they will usually keep you working on a regular basis.

Conservatively adjust your monthly outlay according to your new projected income. Be sure to include the increased cost of medical insurance (to which you have a right under COBRA). If you plan on making your new job search a full time endeavor, analyze your financial picture to calculate how long your resources (savings, severance, unpaid vacation, etc.) will last. Now is a great time to create a budget. And always, always leave yourself a cushion for emergencies.

Clean up your act.

Do a thorough housecleaning of your computer and your office. Even if the worst case scenario doesn’t materialize and you’re not immediately ushered to the door, keep in mind that from this time forward the company will likely be keeping closer tabs on your computer activity.

Meticulously go through your hard drive and either print out or email any personal documents to your home account. Be sure to delete them and then delete the deleted items. Go through your email, both inbox and sent items and delete any personal correspondence. Do the same with your browsing history. Ditto for the hard copies of anything in your office files. Be especially mindful of how you handle any information that could be considered confidential by your employer.

Check your timing.

Dedicate yourself to making the most of your company’s financial perks by planning your resignation around approaching key dates. Is a pay raise imminent? If so, your final salary could (if your company’s 401k is a “defined benefit plan”) affect your benefit. Other dates of long term financial consequence are stock option “vesting” schedules. Most companies require from 3-5 years of employment before you become vested in their contribution to your account. In some cases, portions of the contributions are granted vest on different dates over a specific period of time. Lastly, don’t forget bonus pay dates!

Maintain your dignity.

Was there a less than favorable comment on your last performance review? If possible, make an effort to correct the problem and get the review amended in writing. Although the content of your file is legally confidential to the outside world, it can and will be referred to internally, should you reapply to the company in the future.

Adopt the same approach to strained relationships. Do everything you can to repair your part in a falling out with a coworker or boss. When you do drop the bomb, their responses will most likely be more positive and gracious. At least their memories of you will be respectful. At best, you’ve added former foes to your future networking possibilities!

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by David Bohl

When you visit the same place at the same time for forty hours a week, complacency can slowly creep in. Complacency in the workplace is difficult to handle because, while you may feel comfortable and secure in your position, someone else could be waiting in the wings to dethrone you.

Even if you know there is no competition for your job, complacency can eventually lead to lack of motivation and maybe even laziness. Read on to determine if you may be too comfortable in your job and find out ways to get your groove back.

Have you ever heard the saying, “dress for the job you want, not the job you have”? Appearance plays a bigger role than you may think in the way you are perceived. Many businesses have shifted towards a more relaxed dress code, and “casual Friday” has turned into “casual Monday through Friday.”

However, despite your workplace’s dress code or lack thereof, you should always make a conscious effort to ensure that your choice of clothing, hairstyle, and grooming habits reflect the image you want to project. If you come to work in jeans and t-shirts and expect to be promoted to a supervisory position, you may want to think again. No matter how comfortable you feel with your coworkers and superiors, don’t let your physical appearance at the office fall by the wayside.

More importantly than the way you look, though, is your job performance. If you are too secure in your workplace niche, you most likely have no ambition to go above and beyond what is asked of you. You manage the hand you are dealt and are hesitant or possibly even unwilling to take on anything extra. While fulfilling your job requirements and doing them well is certainly admirable, employees who only do the bare minimum are rarely the ones who quickly advance up the corporate ladder.

What’s even more worrying is that if the economy’s downward trend happens to have an effect on your company’s profits and there is a need to make cuts, the first employees to be let go may be those who do not bring anything extra to the table. Careers are all about contributing to your company’s success while showing off your talents and reaching your maximum potential as an employee, so becoming too relaxed can be a real threat to both cases.

So, what should you do if you exhibit some of the dangerous signs of workplace complacency? Curing complacency is not as complicated as it may sound. Think of your job as a marriage of sorts. After ten years of being with the same person, some of the magic is inevitably lost. You have to get creative and work to spice things up.

The same is true for your place of employment. If you feel you are getting too comfortable with your situation at work, make a change. Ask for a new assignment or to take on new responsibilities. Try a change of scenery by switching cubicles or working from home, if possible. Even think of a purchasing new, smart suit or stylish outfit to wear to work and catch the eye of higher-ups.

Furthermore, set goals. Envision where you would like to be, career-wise, in five years. Then, make monthly, weekly, and even daily commitments to help you reach your objectives. Begin working toward your goals and chipping away at your complacency. Soon, you will realize that your job can be much more fulfilling and satisfying when you truly have a desire to perform your daily tasks!

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There is a great debate in the world of marketing: is the quality of a lead when networking more important than the quantity of leads you get? Then there is the field of thought–why can’t you get both? It’s the American way to get it all so here’s what you have to do to combine the quality of the leads you get from networking and increase the quantity of these leads right along with it.

 Step 1. Focus on quantity.

Especially if networking is new for you, you may not have a clue as to where you should start, so quality isn’t even a factor yet. You have to get some leads first!

So the first thing you have to do is figure out where you can get these leads. Whether it’s at a chamber meeting or a local coffee club, you’ve got to do your homework before you ever step foot in the room with these people. Try to find out who may be at the meeting. For example, if you’re a financial advisor and you’re attending a chamber meeting, look up the member list and see if any estate attorneys are members of the chamber. These attorneys are great sources of referrals for you so you know that you want to try and talk to them at the meeting.

On the other hand, you may have no clue who your potential referral sources are. This will come with time and experience, but you should still get acquainted with who the members of the group are and what type of businesses they are involved in before you go to the meeting. Then talk with some of the attendees and listen to what they say. Something they say during conversation may trigger a thought in your head on how you can do business with this person or how you can refer business to each other. Once you have a large pool of prospects to work with you can move on to start refining your efforts…giving you a chance to focus more on the quality of the leads.

Step 2. Refine (focus on quality).

Once you have a nice stock of leads, then you can start to focus on refining your relationships with these contacts. This means shifting your focus from the quantity to quality. Take a good hard look at the business you have closed to see if there are any common characteristics that you may be able to duplicate. For example, if you’re a wedding florist and have received five referrals this year from a wedding planner in your area, then you need to further secure your relationship with the wedding planner and add more wedding planners to your contact list!

Or take a look at the list of contacts you have and see which ones may lead to business. Form a relationship with the contact and test whether or not it leads to business over time. If it does, then go after similar leads for more business. If it doesn’t work then test out another lead. You’ll start to see what is a quality lead or contact for you.

Master networking.

After you’ve gathered a large quantity of contacts and then worked on uncovering the quality of the leads, it’s time to start focusing on quantity again. This time, however, you know what a quality contact is for you so you focus on where you can meet a large group (quantity) of your quality contacts in one place. Let’s say you’re a writer–writing copy for various types of marketing collateral for the real estate industry. You’ve attended all of your local chamber of commerce meetings (because real estate agents love the chamber, right?), but after doing this for six months you’ve realized that it isn’t real estate agents that you’re getting business from, it’s property management companies. So now you attend the National Property Management Association (NPMA) meetings in your area instead of the chamber meetings.

Now instead of searching for a large enough quantity of leads and closing enough quality leads to make your business grow, you can stop the hunt. Now quality leads will find you.

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You know that when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. But sometimes, when the going gets rough, there’s no money for sugar and the lemonade ends up tasting sour.

A bad analogy, perhaps, but the point is that making it through the hard times in life is not always as easy as the clichés make it sound. Trials and tribulations are inevitable, so it’s not the lack of trouble in your life but rather how you weather the storms that really counts.

First, when you sense a storm is brewing, take a tip from the sailors of the world and batten down the hatches! Sometimes storms seemingly come out of nowhere, but almost always, there are signs that danger is on the horizon. The sky gets dark, the wind picks up, and there is that unidentifiable ominous feeling in the air. Furthermore, there are people in your life who may even tell you a storm is on its way.

You wouldn’t leave the sunroof on your car wide open when the weatherman calls for a 90% chance of rain. Similarly, you shouldn’t ignore your boss’s warnings that your company is going under and then act surprised when a pink slip lands on your desk. When you sense that things in your life are about to go awry, don’t ignore your feelings! Take initiative and do what you can to prepare yourself for the eventual downturn.

When the storm you have braced yourself for rears its ugly head, be brave. Don’t run when you feel the first drop of rain. After all, you’re not the Wicked Witch of the West, and a little water won’t make you melt. Hiding from your troubles will only cripple your ability to properly analyze them and predict their consequences. Needless to say, that doesn’t mean you should run out into the midst of a category 4 hurricane, but if you can, find a safe place where you can face what you’re dealing with head-on. If your predicament doesn’t disappear right away, have patience and wait it out. No storm can last forever, so it’s important to press on until the sun peeks out from behind the clouds once again.

After the storm has passed, it’s time to survey the damages. Whether a tornado came careening into your life and swept away everything in the blink of an eye or floodwaters rose and are still slowly seeping away, you need to take stock of what can be fixed and in what areas you need to start from scratch. As heartbreaking as this process may be, it’s an important part of recovery. Facing the facts will not only allow you to determine your next step, but it will help you to see what your areas of weakness are and how you can improve your preparations for the next time around.

Lastly, when the rain is gone and you have picked up the pieces, it’s time to look for the rainbow. Something positive almost always stems from the negative occurrences in life, if only you are willing to see it. Maybe being fired from your job has allowed you to be home more often to spend time with your children. Your relative’s death may give you a new appreciation for life and the loved ones who are still with you.

Whatever the case may be, those who are willing to look on the bright side have a much easier time coping with hardships. After all, it’s been said that there are no roses without thorns, no sunshine without shadows, and no mountains without valleys. Now there’s a cliché with some truth to it!

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