6 Signs Your Perfectionism Might be Veering into Control Freak Territory

darklady.jpgAre you constantly redoing things to make sure they’re absolutely perfect? Do you find yourself noticing pictures on walls that are slightly crooked and straightening them, even if it’s not in your own home? Are you consistently late and always have a pat excuse? Do you criticize and find faults with others, but in your mind, you’re always right?

All of these behaviors are signs you might be a control freak! Yes, you! A control freak is someone with a need to control other people, situations, and environments to create a sense of security, false though it may be. This is ultimately to cover their own insecurities and fears. They become perfectionists because they can’t stand being wrong, inferior, or criticized. They have a need to be the best, and to avoid failure at all costs, again to cover up insecurity within themselves, which often they do not even recognize.

To keep from letting their anxieties overwhelm them, they control their life and keep their fears at bay. They’re often critical of themselves as well as others, because few can meet their expectations and high levels of performance. Needless to say, they are difficult to be around since there’s usually little room for compromise or communication. If you even suspect that you may have control issues, here are 6 signs you might be a control freak:

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7 Tips for Streamlining Your Life

From my article Get Prepared to Streamline Your Life at Dumb Little Man:

istock_000006479984xsmall.jpg“As a business owner, I’ve learned about several effective tools needed to run an efficient business. I utilize systems, strategies, and support, to keep my business running smoothly and profitably. And I’ve seen how if I apply some of these same tools to my personal life, I can streamline it as well.

So whether you have your own business, work for a company, or run a household, if you manage your life like a business, I can guarantee you’ll be surprised at the results. Here are some tips taken from my experience that can be valuable for streamlining your life:”

Read the rest of Get Prepared to Streamline Your Life.

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Listen to Your Gut: Tips for Developing Your Inner Voice and Intuition

beach.jpgby David Bohl, Life Coach and Lifestyle Designer

Have you ever gotten an idea to do something, or go somewhere, and the idea seemed to appear out of the blue? Maybe it was a strong impulse that went against your typical style, but you felt it so deeply that you went ahead. Sometimes these gut urges just feel right, so although we have no idea where they come from, we trust and go ahead. Listening to your gut, or your instincts, can actually be honed to a skill. Intuition comes from an inner voice, one that lives inside all of us but one which few of us pay much attention to.

If you treat intuition as a part of you, it won’t seem so foreign or scary. If you see it as a part of you that is an invaluable assistant to help guide you through life, you’ll take the time to learn its language and understand its messages. For its messages can be quite useful. If you’re stumped on an answer to a challenge, if you’re brainstorming a problem, if you’re stuck making a decision–your intuition can be the perfect partner to help you out.

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Teach Your Kids to Think for Themselves

ducky.jpgby David Bohl

When I think back to my own childhood, I can’t help but recall things that my parents would say. “You weren’t born with a silver spoon in your mouth.” You can be anything you want to be.” “The sky is the limit.” “Act your age, not your shoe size!” Some positive, some negative, but all really true, at least in my case. As I look at the basis for the things to teach my own kids through what my parents taught me, it turns out “the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.”

The last thing in the world I would want to do is make my children completely dependent on me and my wife. I want to teach them about what’s really important in life. But also I want, more than anything, for them to be able to handle themselves with self assurance in this often fantastic and sometimes difficult world. As parents, maybe we need to get the idea out of our heads that we’ll be able to prepare our children for any situation. It’s not possible! The truth is that we don’t know everything, our mothers and fathers didn’t know everything, and kids will need to make their own mistakes to learn from them as you and I both did and still do.

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Emotional Vampires, Time Suckers, and Other Characters to Avoid During the Holidays and Always

vampire.jpgby David Bohl

With the holiday season upon us, sometimes along with the merriment comes an overdose of certain folks who grate our nerves or cause us just a bit too much inconvenience. This article is NOT about wreaking revenge on such individuals, but figuring out how to limit their inflence in your life so that you have more time to focus on the really important things!

Warding Off “Emotional Vampires”, Giving Bad Friends the Boot

Emotional vampires sap us of our life force with their neediness and ability to attract drama/stir up trouble wherever they go. Friends like this start off seemingly normal– and then suddenly you find yourself being dragged down a perilous path of emotional blackmail and destruction! After a while, you realize that you don’t care for the way the “emotional vampire” treats people, whether it’s other friends, neighbors, business associate or even the check-out girl at the grocery store. You feel frustrated over the lost time it takes to deal with such a person and the complications they invite.

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‘Tis the Season to Slow Down

holidaysmile.jpgby David Bohl

When Halloween candy hits the shelves before Labor Day and animatronic Santas are ho-ho-ho-ing at you before you’ve even had a chance to carve your Thanksgiving turkey, it’s hard not to feel rushed through the holiday season. However, difficult as it may be to pause and reflect on the meaning of the holidays, it is certainly beneficial.

If you feel like the time between Halloween and Christmas is nothing more than a blur before your eyes, try a few of these tips to slow down and enjoy your holidays this year.

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6 Characteristics of People to Surround Yourself With

happygirls.jpgAre you somebody other people want to be around? If not, why not? And if so, what are those characteristics that you think make people want to be around you? Are those the same characteristics of people you want to surround yourself with?

Since I work closely with a lot of people in my coaching practice, I’m an astute observer of human behavior. I listen to my clients’ complaints about the people in their lives and find common traits of these “problem” people. I also listen to the traits my clients find admirable, ones they would like to aspire to in themselves. So, I advise them to surround themselves with more of these kinds of people, the ones who have characteristics that make them stand out, make them special, and make people want to be around them.

These are some of the essential qualities I and my clients admire in quality people! You may find different ones that work best for you. I call these characteristics the 6 H’s.

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A Thanksgiving Recipe for Gratitude

dinner.jpgby David Bohl – Life Coach and Lifestyle Designer

Baste the turkey? Check. Craft a cornucopia centerpiece Martha Stewart would be proud of… check. Buy an extra place setting for Aunt Flo’s new fling. Check.

Your Thanksgiving to-do list may be complete in your eyes, but have you forgotten the purpose of the holiday in all the excitement and hubbub? This Thanksgiving, don’t lose sight of the deeper meaning behind your 20-person, eat-till-you-drop get-together: gratitude.

Whether you’re a first-time Thanksgiving host or you’ve been serving up white and dark meat for years, it’s easy to get carried away in the details lose sight of the true spirit of the day. But don’t forget that especially during the holidays, it’s important to slow down. Take time to stop and smell the pie – and be thankful for that wonderful aroma!

Slowing down at Thanksgiving means stopping to reflect upon all that life has bestowed upon you! Why not start a Thanksgiving tradition of gratitude? It can be as simple as going around the table and sharing what each person is thankful for — or taking a moment to read a special poem aloud around the dessert table.

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Improve Your Meetings With Right-Brained Thinking

From my article Can You Improve Meetings with Right-Brained Thinking? at Dumb Little Man:

istock_000005809739xsmall.jpg“If you want to spur creativity, capture and hold attention, and promote innovation and interaction, you need to create a space that stimulates the creative, social side of the brain – the right side”

Read the rest of Can You Improve Meetings with Right-Brained Thinking?

How to Change “Why” into “Why Not?”

sky.jpg“With positive internal dialogue, we can create self-power.”

~ Deepak Chopra, The Spontaneous Fulfillment Of Desire

Unfortunately one of the most common phrases in our language is “I can’t.” People say, “I can’t be that,” “I can’t do that,” and “I can’t have that” more often than they realize. And more often than they would if they knew how it kept them from being open to the possibility for more in their lives.

The more you look for reasons WHY you “can’t” be, do, or have what you want, the more you limit your chances for WHY NOT? Why not be the way you want to be? Why not do what you want to do? Why not have what you want to have?

Do you really know the answer to those questions? The answer is: because YOU say so! Only you limit what you can be, do, and have. Only you and your limited thinking, your limited attitude, your limits on what you think is possible are holding you back.

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