I once heard a great definition of worry: it’s negative goal setting. That’s because worry is always about the future, and none of us can really predict the future. It’s such wasted energy that could be constructively used to make the present a lot better. Reign in your overactive imagination. Imagine instead using the energy you would have expended on worry to envision a positive future.

Those who worry think that by worrying over an issue they are keeping it from happening, when in fact they may actually be attracting it. Based on the Law of Attraction, what you focus your thoughts on you draw to you. It’s helpful to understand this negative effect worry has in attracting what you are worrying about.

You might think if you worry enough about not forgetting what to say when you have to give a speech at work today, then somehow you could stop it from occurring. Yet, your worry might cause you to get nervous and create just what you were worried about happening. (Not to mention the physical side effects of chronic worrying like heart disease and ulcers.)

Take a look at something you’re worried about now and see what it’s really about. Are you worried you’ll catch the flu from your kids? Focus instead on the fact that you take good care of yourself, eat well, take supplements, exercise, and haven’t been sick in years. Then shift your focus to staying healthy and seeing the kids getting well quickly. Are you worried about having enough money for retirement? Focus on the present and be thankful that you have enough now and can put some away each month for the future. Then look at what you need to do realistically to reach the goals you set for your retirement.

Action is another antidote to worry. And if your life has really been pretty good so far, worry is just a bad habit and not based on any proof. If you look at all the good in your life, you’ll see that you’re only making up stories that will in most likelihood never come true. Save your creativity for writing novels.

We were also taught to not assume something good is going to happen or we’ll jinx it. Or don’t put all our eggs in one basket. A lot of these clichés actually create the opposite effect of what we intend. See if this helps. Ask yourself: what’s the worst that can happen? Then you can rationalize worry away by seeing your fears are unfounded.

Being appreciative for the present is a great way to reduce worry. If we are focusing on the good in our lives, we’re less likely to focus on imagined scenarios of what hasn’t even happened yet. And just because some event happened in the past is no reason to assume it will repeat itself in the future. I like this cliché: the past is history, the future is a mystery, and the present is a gift–that’s why it’s called the “present.”

NEWSFLASH: I’ve added another chapter to my life by joining C.A.S.T. Recovery, a Los Angeles based outpatient drug rehab program which specializes in designing highly individualized recovery plans with appropriate professionals to support a client’s health, accountability, and success.

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In fact, it sometimes seems that teens in their senior year have to be physically tethered to the ground to keep them from floating off the surface of the planet in their desire to be done with high school, their relinquishing of previous worries and their eagerness to start building their new lives. Wouldn’t it be great if you could recapture this feeling again in your own life?

Well, as it turns out, you can. All you have to do is wait, according to a surprising new study on happiness and aging.

Contrary to popular belief, according to this groundbreaking research, “the happiest Americans are the oldest,” These findings come from a study done by a University of Chicago sociologist, Yang Yang. “The good news.” Yang reports, “is that with age comes happiness. Life gets better in one’s perception as one ages.”

(source: http://www.newsvine.com/_news/2008/04/18/1438786-despite-myth-old-age-is-the-happiest-time-research-says)
The article goes on to say that, “There were ups and downs in overall happiness levels during the study, generally corresponding with good and bad economic times. But at every stage, older Americans were the happiest.”
Apparently, despite public perceptions, seniors are often far happier than their early-adult and midlife compatriots, more content with themselves and more relaxed about life in general. But what factors contribute to this end-of-life enhancing effect?

*Older people tend to be more accepting of their status in life – they are content to have done well and lived a good life, and place less importance on public acclaim, fame or other worldly achievement.

*Differences between race and income level tend to mean less, and therefore create less angst, as people age.

*Seniors may have a smaller social circle as they age, but they tend to socialize more and be less isolated than their busier, career-obsessed counterparts.

*Seniors are under less pressure to perform, and have fewer demands on their time than those in midlife, which creates far less stress and allows for more rest and recreation.

*The push to make a living and create your place in the world has faded by this time in their life – seniors aren’t coasting by any stretch of the imagination, but there’s less social pressure to “be somebody” or “make something of themselves.”

To summarize, older people are more likely to have let go of concerns that harassed them in their earlier lives, they’re more likely to be content with their current life (and looking forward to what’s coming) and they’re more likely to have moved on from previous social constraints and are enjoying their new-found freedoms with the ones they love. In short, they have senioritis.

However, the research is not all good news, especially for those of us still approaching senior age. As it turns out, Baby Boomers were the least happy group in this study. The reason? Unrealistically high expectations. Too many Baby Boomers have swallowed the propaganda that they can do and have it all, and are desperately trying to make that ideal a reality. They’re stressed to the breaking point by trying to be everything to everyone, and worried that they won’t live long enough, or be physically and financially fit enough, to do everything they want to as they move into retirement. Says Duke University aging expert Linda George, “They could end up living the unfortunate old-age stereotype if they can’t let go of their achievement-driven mind-set.”

And of all the lessons this research is trying to teach us, that might just be the hardest one of all.

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Well, go ahead and take a big sigh of relief because I have some good news to share with you. Even though we’re going through a bit of a rough spot doesn’t mean you just have to throw up your hands and deal with it. Learn how to build your own wealth in a bad economy–and realize that it’s about more than what shows on your resume. Take matters into your own hands and take action now.

Start a side business

You’ve always dreamed of being your own boss. And while now may not be the time to quit your job and go 100% on your own, it may be the time to start a side business. It’ll allow you to pursue your dream and make a little extra money while you’re doing it. You’re probably thinking, start a new business when so many businesses are failing? Yes, you heard me right. Think about it for a moment. Even in a bad economy, there are opportunities to be had and you have to grab them. It comes down to the basic supply and demand rule, so think about how you may be able to benefit from a bad situation.

Maybe you’re a marketing manager. In this economy, one of the first cutbacks that a company makes tends to be their marketing department. Fortunately for you, these companies still have to market their products and services. They just can’t afford to employ the marketing people full-time, plus benefits, plus, plus, plus. So what about becoming a marketing consultant to these companies? It’s a win-win. They need marketing services and you have marketing services to offer. You may make enough money on the side to put it all into savings and investments. You may even find that it is lucrative enough to take it full-time.

Take a minute to think about your talents. Then take a minute to think about how you can profit from these talents.

Lower your spending

We all spend frivolously at some point in our lives. Do you really need a Starbucks every day? Or is it really necessary to spend $200 a month eating out at restaurants? The answer to both questions is no. One of the easiest ways to build your wealth is to stop spending it all! Keep tracking of your spending for one month. Then go line-by-line on your spending sheet and see where you can cut. You may find a couple hundred extra dollars, a few thousand dollars, or 20 extra dollars. Whatever the amount, start socking that money away instead of wasting it. And don’t mistake cutting back your spending for giving up living, either. There are plenty of free and low cost ways to entertain yourself and fill your coffee fix (or whatever fix you have).

Don’t make your exit from the stock market… stay calm

If you have money invested in the stock market, the odds are good that you’ve seen it decrease in the past year or so. This is not the time to panic, sell off all your investments, and start stashing money under your mattress. Panic sell-offs are just making a bad situation worse. The market is cyclical and goes up and down. Your wealth will go back up when the market goes back up–and eventually it WILL go back up. This is not to say that you should just sit back and watch your money disappear either. Evaluate your investments once a year and make necessary changes to watch your money grow. Now may be the perfect time to invest in a company that was too expensive before. It’s kind of like the stock market is having a sale. You can get into investments at bargain basement prices.

Even when times are rough, you can take action and turn the bad times into good ones for you. It’s not always about running off and getting a new job to increase your income and increase your wealth. Sometimes it’s about creatively thinking of ways that you can take advantage of the bad economy and turn it into a positive for you.

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We are told to strive for unattainable lifestyles and to model ourselves after unrealistic, airbrushed models.

Sometimes you need to step back from this virtual reality and ponder what life is really about. Will that Mercedes or those anti-anxiety medications really make you happier, or are they only temporary solutions to deeper issues? Examine these five myths about how you should be living your life and start living the way you want to live.

Myth 1: Material Things Prove Your Worth

Someone once said, “One reason it’s so hard to save money is that our neighbors are always buying something we can’t afford.” Keeping up with the Joneses is certainly no way to live, and the desire to do so stems from a belief that material things prove your worth. Extravagant clothing, houses, and cars oftentimes serve as status symbols in today’s society, but when it comes down to it, what you have in your heart and mind is worth much more than what you’ve got in your wallet. Furthermore, comparing yourself financially to your friends and family will only cause envy and strife. Remember that while luxuries may be enjoyable, they don’t make you who you are.

Myth 2: You Should Always Take an Expert’s Opinion at Face Value

How many times have you taken your car in for a simple oil change, only to be told you need hundreds of dollars worth of repairs in other areas? Have you taken the mechanic’s word for it and shelled out the cash or gone in for a second opinion elsewhere? We tend to rely on experts for advice, whether they are doctors, lawyers, financial consultants, or repairmen, but you can’t forget that even though they are experts, they still don’t know everything. You always retain the power to do your own research or seek out another form of advice. You may find that separate individuals offer different yet complementary opinions that allow you to shape a more informed decision on the issue you are having.

Myth 3: When in Doubt, Medicate

It’s hard to make it through a 2-minute commercial break without seeing an advertisement for some sort of prescription drug. The prescription drug industry has exploded in the past decade, and Zoloft, Prozac, and Ritalin are now part of most Americans’ vocabulary. While there is something to be said for the positive benefits medications have to offer, they are certainly not quick fix on the road to happiness. Before asking your doctor about the latest mood-altering drug you saw on television or in a magazine, consider seeking therapy and using self-improvement strategies to alter your moods instead. Even if prescription drugs are a feasible option for your treatment plan, it’s important to remember that they are not a cure-all. Healing takes time and a repertoire of varying strategies in order to truly come about.

Myth 4: It’s Hip to Be Forever Young

The world today is filled with Peter Pans – adults who don’t want to grow up. Whether they are lacking in emotional maturity or in wrinkles, growing old has become a faux pas for a lot of people. Don’t get the wrong idea. It’s great to feel young at heart and to be physically fit, but it’s possible to do so and still age gracefully. Aging with class involves learning from your past. What’s the point of a life long-lived if you want to act like a child and look like one, too? Gray hair, laugh lines, and a cultivated point of view are things to be embraced, not shunned.

Myth 5: You Can Do It All

Society tends to tell us that multitasking and the ability to juggle lots of things at once is a good thing, but when you have too many things in the air, something is bound to get dropped. Ambition is a good thing, but you have to know when enough is enough. Yes, it’s possible to be a wife, a mother, a businesswoman, and the best baker at the church bazaar, but it’s also okay to say no when your best friend asks you to help her plan a charity gala. When you take on more than you can handle, the quality of your projects often suffers. Don’t feel pressured to be a yes-man. Even the best of us can’t do it all.

There are so many self-improvement blogs, magazines, and websites out there these days, everyone has an opinion on the way you should be living your life. It’s important not to focus on the myths flooding the media but to analyze your situations carefully and live the way that is right for you.

NEWSFLASH: I’ve added another chapter to my life by joining C.A.S.T. Recovery, a Los Angeles based national outpatient drug rehab program which specializes in designing highly individualized recovery plans with appropriate professionals to support a client’s health, accountability, and success.

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Suppose someone hands you a five-pound box of paper and tells you that it’s part of a project that’s due next week!

Or what about if you’re creating a business model for your own company – that’s a pretty voluminous project.

Here are some must-have tips for streamlining the work so that things get done right and move forward according to schedule.

Create a plan

A house builder doesn’t just show up at the site and start building. He works closely with an architect, creating blueprints–a plan on how the structure will be created and built. The same holds true for any type of project you’re working on. You need to have a big picture view of the project and then sit down and plan out how you’re going to get from start to finish.

While planning may seem like an extra step when you can just get right to it, it can actually save you a lot of time and mistakes in the long run, making it faster to get from start to finish than if you just wing it as you go along.

Form a team

Teamwork is an ideal way to streamline a project — in fact, many small business owners form teams of freelance professionals to churn out work faster, please clients with their expertise, and pull in more profit in less time.

Each team member should bring something unique to the table, so assign tasks that utilize these talents. Not only will you get the task completed quicker, but you’ll get it done effectively because you’ll have the best people working on what they do best. If you’ve ever attempted to “do it all alone,” you know how disconcerting that can be, not to mention what a time and energy drainer. When you form a team, even if you’re paying money to those people, you’re giving yourself back the gift of time and energy to focus on other important things.

Create a timeline

While a plan lists out the tasks required to get the project done, a timeline adds deadlines to the tasks. Creating a timeline lets everyone know when each task has to be completed, and also gives a sense of cooperation – because you’re depending on another person’s expedience before you can move forward with your portion of the work. Timelines also helps to eliminate procrastination. If everyone involved strives to meet the deadlines, the project begins to take on momentum and a sense of accomplishment – while fuels expedience even more!

Create procedures

Now that you know where you’re going with the project (plan) and when you need to get there, you’ve got to figure out how this will be pulled off. Will you automate certain parts of this by utilizing the appropriate computer programs? Will you outsource to other people who can offer part-time help for less than you would have paid a full-timer? What about communication – is it worth mapping out explicit instructions for people to follow, so that each person takes the shortest distance to success?

Each time you tap into another productive solution, document it and turn it into instructions that other members of the team can use to help move things along. By creating procedures, you’re creating the directions, the road map if you will, on how to get from one task to the next, finally bringing the project to completion. Also – if someone else brings a new idea to the table on how to get something done even faster or more efficiently – hear them out. Procedures should be adhered to, but also offer some flexibility. After all, you want to do what truly works, not what you think will work! This is how great companies continue to innovate new solutions every day!

Keep track of the progress

It’s not enough to just create a plan and run with it. It also streamlines the process if you keep track of how the project’s progressing. As a task is completed, check it off or highlight it before moving on to the next task. If the group reaches a milestone, pump in some fresh energy with a little celebrating and some kudos all around – this keeps spirits fresh and motivation levels high.

If a deadline is looming, make sure that everyone working on the project is reminded of what has to be completed and when — this way, there can be no excuses or oversights. If deadlines are being missed, try to figure out why so that the problem can be corrected and avoided as you move along. Don’t forget to document your solution as part of the procedure or “order of operations.”

Have a back-up plan

Even the perfect plans run into snags, so make sure you have a back-up plan in place. During the planning process, try to anticipate problems or issues that may come up during the project and prepare for how you’ll deal with these snags.

In order to streamline a project, you’ve got to take control. Plan before you jump in with both feet. Form a team and assign tasks to various people to get the job done faster and more effectively. Set deadlines and stick to them. Figure out how you’re going to carry the plan out. In case something goes wrong, make sure you have a back-up plan in place. If you do these six things, you’ll be well on your way to seeing your project finished a lot faster than if you muddle through it as you go.

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One-liners are often meaningful and memorable, but what about the context they were taken from? While it’s great to be remembered for snippets of brilliant conversation, it’s better to be memorable for being a great conversationalist as a whole.

If you’d like to heighten the value of your conversations, here are some tips to consider.

Think Before You Speak

People often have a tendency to blurt out whatever pops into their minds before thinking about the impact it may have on their conversational audience. While flashes of genius may occur occasionally, it’s more likely that a well-thought-out comment will have a greater impact.

Furthermore, when you allow yourself to air your thoughts without consideration to who you’re speaking to or how it may affect them, you can end up saying things you may regret later on, whether it be hurtful comments or simply viewpoints you are not prepared to defend. Instead, take the time during your conversations to carefully consider your remarks. You will find that not only do you become more a memorable speaker, but you won’t have to spend time backpedaling later on comments you didn’t mean.

Know Your Audience

What do you think would be more memorable to a stay-at-home parent – a talk about healthy cooking and recipes for families on a budget or a discussion on the facts and fiction of high-fructose corn syrup? While both topics may contain beneficial knowledge, the former is more likely to keep a parent’s attention and interest because it relates more directly to things a parent may be experiencing.

The point is, to be memorable, you must know who you’re talking to and what will stay with them after the conversation is finished. Whether you are giving an informal lecture to a group of college students or meeting for coffee with your neighbor, being memorable in conversation is all about relating to your audience and talking about things that are of importance to them.

Listen

Contrary to what you may think, memorable conversations do not have to be one-sided. If your conversations become more like soliloquies, the person or people you are speaking to are more likely to tune you out. Great discussions require an even (or close to it) share of the speaking time. That means you need to listen as much as you talk.

When you feel strongly about a subject, it may be hard to take the time to hear what another person is saying, but doing so will allow you to analyze their point of view and respond accordingly, rather than having a one-track mind. If your partner in conversation feels like you acknowledge and understand his perspective, he is also more likely to attribute value to your statements.

Be Sincere

Last but most certainly not least, you absolutely have to be sincere about your topics of conversation in order to be memorable. People are perceptive, and they will know if you are faking it. Conversely, however, they will also know if you are truly passionate and genuine in what you are saying. Everyone appreciates earnest conversation, and they will be more likely to let what you are saying sink in and affect them if they believe you mean it.

Becoming a memorable conversationalist is not difficult, but it does take thought and consideration. Always think about the impact of your statements before they come out of your mouth, and try to know what matters to your listeners so that you can converse about topics that relate to their interests.

Furthermore, be a listener yourself. Don’t allow your knowledge on a subject or fervent feelings about it to overshadow the thoughts and opinions of others. And lastly, always be sincere when you speak. Try these tips and you never know – you just may find your words of wisdom next to those of Eleanor Roosevelt or Albert Einstein on Bartleby.com!

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As citizens of the world, each of us is responsible for the health of our planet. Our choices and our actions contribute to the well being or deterioration of the environment. Yet, it’s our earth, the only one we have. If we don’t care about the environment, who will?

Who will preserve the quality of the air? Who will restore our natural resources? Who will help make the planet safe for many generations to come? You will! Anyone and everyone can participate in making our world a safer, less harmful place.

Have you ever thought about how your choices affect the earth’s well being and how you can minimize the impact you and your family make on the environment? From the cars you drive to the products you consume, every choice you make on a daily basis has a consequence for the environment.

Why should you care about the environment?

How about for your health and the health of your children? How about for your quality of life and that of other citizens of the planet? How about for the choices you have of resources that are now being depleted? How about for the air you breathe and the water you drink?

Our natural environment becomes unbalanced and unsustainable when it is polluted and stripped of its natural resources by over-consumption. Our lives are at stake as we find our health being affected by environmental toxins in the air, water, and foods we consume. Our earth is a fragile planet with limited resources. The growing threat of climatic changes means everyone from individuals to businesses must reassess their environmental impact and daily choices.

If you don’t think this situation is critical, here are some facts to consider:

• We use 50% of the Earth’s land area for food production and 50% of the Earth’s available fresh water for drinking.
• The main source of water pollution is not chemical waste but the excrement of farm animals.
• About 70% of the world’s marine species are at risk of extinction.
• By the year 2100, extinction may reach one third of all species now living.
• Animals raised for food currently generate between 15 and 20% of methane emissions globally.
• Every ton of recycled office paper saves 380 gallons of oil.
• Around 50 million tons of paper are consumed annually by Americans, more than 850 million trees are cut down.
• Each year, over 63,000 square miles are destroyed resulting in more than half the world’s tropical forests being lost.

We are changing the climate and health of the planet by our every choice. What can you do to show you care about the environment and contribute to its health and longevity? Lots. Here are just a few suggestions. For more ways to save the environment, check some books out of the library or do some online research.

1. Conserve energy at home.

Fix leaky faucets, turn off lights and appliances when not in use, and buy energy efficient products. Check showerheads and toilets for leaks, and consider low flow models. Reduce the settings on water heaters and household thermostats; limit use of air conditioning. Make sure your home is efficiently insulated.

2. Reduce, reuse, recycle.

Dispose of harmful materials properly, re-use or recycle things you no longer need, and place recyclables in proper bins for pick up. For every ton of paper recycled, 17 trees are saved.

3. Buy safe products.

Don’t support toxic materials such as home improvement products like paint with lead or food products with pesticides. Buy organic produce when possible, and learn what products are safest for your consumption and for the health of the planet.

4. Drive conservatively.

Carpool or take public transportation when you can, and consolidate your trips for gas conservation. Observe speed limits, and avoid rapid acceleration and excessive breaking and idling. Ride a bike and walk for local errands. Research how you can reduce carbon emissions by keeping your car in top shape. Keep tires properly inflated to improve gas mileage. Every 10 days, drivers with under-inflated tires and poorly maintained engines waste 70 million gallons of gasoline.

5. Green up your life.

Switch to solar energy at home if feasible, grow as much of your own food as you can, use natural fiber clothing, and make your own cleaning and beauty care products.

Educate yourself as much as possible about the environmental issues that concern every earth citizen, and start taking actions that show you care about the environment. Be a role model and leader for others. Each individual contributes to the success of the whole. Go green now!

For an informative slide show on the environment visit: www.colleges.org/enviro/workshops/2006/WadeWorthen_WhySaveEnviro.ppt

For more facts about how you can preserve the environment check out these sites: www.worldwatch.org/node/3915 and www.usa.gov/Citizen/Facts/Facts_Environment.shtml.

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The 21st-century world can be a dangerous place. The wide reach of the Internet and other technological developments makes people more interconnected than ever before. Though this interconnectedness can oftentimes be a positive thing, it opens the doors for identity thieves, child predators, and scam artists to take advantage of unsuspecting victims.

Furthermore, when news headlines are filled with stories of morally bankrupt business leaders and dishonest politicians, it makes the path to righteousness seem like an uphill battle. However, you can start the climb and hopefully have an effect on others by buckling down and beginning to live right.

Know Your Ten Commandments

The Ten Commandments brought down by Moses from Mount Sinai are often referenced when people cite their personal rules for living. Whether or not you use the Bible as your ethical measuring tape, it is important to have your own code of ethics to live by.

Survey your life and the world around you. What do you believe is right or wrong? Subjects such as abortion and the death penalty are hotly contested moral issues in the public eye, but when it comes to how you live on a daily basis, attempt to formulate guidelines that you feel comfortable with and then put them into action.

Find Your Purpose

If you work full-time, you likely spend over 2,000 hours at your place of employment in one year. Sure, some of those hours are spent eating lunch and chatting with colleagues around the water cooler, but the bulk of your time spent at work is used to contribute to your company’s purpose. When you spend such a huge amount of time on something, isn’t it only natural that you should feel useful in your position?

If you don’t feel fulfilled and like you have a purpose at work, it could be time to seek out a change that will allow you to feel more satisfied. Think of your personal code of ethics and what you value. Do you see these values coming into play in your work week? Having a job that helps you feel constructive and effective in the broader sense of things will certainly help you on your way to living right.

Do Unto Others…

Everyone knows the Golden Rule, “do unto others as you would have others do unto you,” but not everyone lives by it. It’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind and let stress rule your attitude and the way you treat others, but living right requires a determination to override negative feelings and focus on treating others with respect.

So, the next time your server at a restaurant brings you a hamburger cooked medium-well instead of the rare you asked for, or a newly licensed teenager rear-ends you at a traffic light, think back to a time when you got yourself into a situation that required a little grace and channel that energy.

Give Back

Anyone who has spent time volunteering can tell you that to give is better than to receive. No matter what stage of life you are in – rich or poor, young or old – opportunities abound in your community to help those in need. Volunteering can be a one-day, one-year, or even one-hour commitment, but its impact is sure to last much longer.

If you have plenty to give but don’t know where to allocate your resources, try searching the VolunteerMatch website. VolunteerMatch allows you to search by location and also by keyword. You can even search for virtual volunteering opportunities! Whether you choose to donate blood, tutor a child, or build a home, giving back to your community is a surefire way to start living right.

Buckling down and living right is not a fast process, but it certainly is a life-changing one. Don’t underestimate the power of your own resolve and the changes you can make in the world. Begin by analyzing your personal code of ethics and finding a purpose in your work, but continue the process by treating others how you would like to be treated and giving back to your community.

In the end, you will find your own life has been changed and the positive ripples that flow outward from your actions will in turn change the lives of others.

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If you had a dime for every time someone told you, “life isn’t fair,” you might dethrone Warren Buffet from his seat as richest man in the world. Unfortunately, being aware of life’s inequities doesn’t prevent them. In fact, hardships are virtually guaranteed to occur — it’s just a matter of when and where. So, when disaster strikes, you usually have one of two options – crumble under the pressure or become a survivor. Survivors persevere, but perseverance may not come naturally.

To find out how to be a survivor, read this collection of characteristics of those who keep at it when life gets rough and apply them to your own life.

Ask Questions

Survivors don’t just sit back and let life happen to them. Even though they are in the midst of a breakdown, they use their intuition and ingenuity to pose questions about what is happening to them. And they aren’t simply asking, “why me?”. Survivors use questions to gather information about the situation they are in and how it can be resolved. They also ask questions to learn how to prevent problems from occurring in the future.

See Things in a Different Light

Have you ever been stumped by a brainteaser and decided to let the puzzle simmer in your brain and return to it later, only to come back and find that the answer was right in front of your eyes the whole time? In this same manner, it’s helpful to attempt to find new ways to solve old problems. Survivors don’t get burnt out trying to fit a square key in a circular lock. In other words, they don’t repeatedly try a solution that clearly isn’t helping to solve a problem. To become a survivor, you need to look at things from all perspectives in order to find the best possible resolution.

Be Flexible

One of the absolute pillars of being a survivor is being flexible. Most people are not expecting it when disaster strikes. Therefore, it might be necessary to change your plans to accommodate the new developments.

If you become stressed by the thought of altering your roadmap to life, you will only add to the difficulties that have already been presented to you. Instead, work hard to keep an open mind and bend, don’t break.

Plan Ahead

There is a difference between worrying and planning. Worrying does little to prepare you for future challenges. It only deprives you of the time spent fretting over impossible-to-predict scenarios. Planning, on the other hand, is a practice used by survivors to allow them to effectively handle hardships when they do occur. For instance, keeping a first-aid kit in your house is a positive way to be ready if someone gets hurt. Worrying about your child scraping her knees every time she leaves the house is not. Survivors certainly aren’t psychic, but their ability to make effective and quality plans in advance of trouble’s wake allows them to rise above the ashes when the flames have been put out.

Set Goals

Goal-setting is an excellent strategy that allows you to step back and view a situation from an outsider’s perspective. Survivors can remove themselves from what is happening to them and see things rationally, which allows them to make benchmarks for restoration. You can set goals for how to deal with current problems or how to handle them in future settings. The idea is that you use goal-setting as a tool to step out from behind the “victim” title and become someone who makes the most of what they’ve got.

There is no telling what sorts of trials and tribulations you will go through in life, but there are always options as to how you can deal with it when these trials occur. Perseverance may be difficult, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. To be a survivor, you must simply use techniques and tactics that allow you to tackle your problems effectively and with an eye to the future.

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by David Bohl

Congratulations! You’ve taken your destiny by the horns and decided to quit your job! The days of slogging to work, a mere shadow of your pre incarcerated self are over. No more weighing the pros and cons again and again. And again. You’ve parented yourself through pity, doubts, guilt and fear. And you’ve emerged finally, on the other side with clarity, vision and conviction.

It’s tempting to want to share your jubilance–after all, making major decisions is hard work, and everything’s sweeter when shared. But before you let your pent up bob-cat out of the bag, give pause to that inclination.

Consider first that upon hearing the news, your employer will respond in one (or some modified form) of the following ways:

Amicably.

In this case, you will most likely transition your responsibilities and possibly train your replacement over a traditional two week notice period.

With a counter offer, by proposing a raise or a promotion.

Here is where your resolve could be compromised if you are not prepared. Consider the sincerity of such proposals suspicious– especially if earlier you unsuccessfully requested these adjustments based on your own merit. Remember, offers like this are usually based solely on the company’s own best interests and could be misleading. If you choose to consider a counter offer, get everything in writing before accepting.

Immediate termination because of a perceived threat to the security of the company.

It is not unusual to be escorted to the door if your employer suspects that you have signed on with direct competition or if your current position gives you a high level of access to company secrets. Companies reserve and can exercise this right for no apparent reason when an employee resigns.

In any case, even if you are almost certain of its implausibility, you would be wise to be prepared for the worst case scenario. By assuming the mindset of your employer- that is, the impact of the news to their bottom line, you will protect and ensure your own successful transition, and in some ways minimize the fallout on your employer and your coworkers.

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Resolve to keep your intentions to yourself.

Be prepared for questions. It’s likely you will be asked why you are leaving, and where you are going. Resist the temptation to spill your list of resentments, judgments and policy grievances. More than likely, something you say will be taken to task or misunderstood, and you will find yourself drawn into a discussion in which you are not responsible to engage.

Remember, you don’t want to burn your bridges. You never know if or when this set of colleagues will reappear on your professional horizon. So say nothing that will jeopardize the relationships you have built. Also, keep your new destination to yourself in the (unlikely) possibility that someone will try to undermine your future employment before you even start. By remaining polite and respectful, you can stoically protect yourself from potential retaliation.

Get your financial ducks in a row.

Ensure your immediate financial security. If you have secured a new job, get it in writing. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that an employment offer letter will suffice. Until you have a signed contract, your professional and financial interests remain vulnerable. If you have opted to resign without a job in place, you might want to consider registering with one or more local temp or freelance employment agencies. Once you prove your dependability, they will usually keep you working on a regular basis.

Conservatively adjust your monthly outlay according to your new projected income. Be sure to include the increased cost of medical insurance (to which you have a right under COBRA). If you plan on making your new job search a full time endeavor, analyze your financial picture to calculate how long your resources (savings, severance, unpaid vacation, etc.) will last. Now is a great time to create a budget. And always, always leave yourself a cushion for emergencies.

Clean up your act.

Do a thorough housecleaning of your computer and your office. Even if the worst case scenario doesn’t materialize and you’re not immediately ushered to the door, keep in mind that from this time forward the company will likely be keeping closer tabs on your computer activity.

Meticulously go through your hard drive and either print out or email any personal documents to your home account. Be sure to delete them and then delete the deleted items. Go through your email, both inbox and sent items and delete any personal correspondence. Do the same with your browsing history. Ditto for the hard copies of anything in your office files. Be especially mindful of how you handle any information that could be considered confidential by your employer.

Check your timing.

Dedicate yourself to making the most of your company’s financial perks by planning your resignation around approaching key dates. Is a pay raise imminent? If so, your final salary could (if your company’s 401k is a “defined benefit plan”) affect your benefit. Other dates of long term financial consequence are stock option “vesting” schedules. Most companies require from 3-5 years of employment before you become vested in their contribution to your account. In some cases, portions of the contributions are granted vest on different dates over a specific period of time. Lastly, don’t forget bonus pay dates!

Maintain your dignity.

Was there a less than favorable comment on your last performance review? If possible, make an effort to correct the problem and get the review amended in writing. Although the content of your file is legally confidential to the outside world, it can and will be referred to internally, should you reapply to the company in the future.

Adopt the same approach to strained relationships. Do everything you can to repair your part in a falling out with a coworker or boss. When you do drop the bomb, their responses will most likely be more positive and gracious. At least their memories of you will be respectful. At best, you’ve added former foes to your future networking possibilities!

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