How to Weather Life’s Storms and Rise Above the Rain

storm.jpgby David Bohl

You know that when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. But sometimes, when the going gets rough, there’s no money for sugar and the lemonade ends up tasting sour.

A bad analogy, perhaps, but the point is that making it through the hard times in life is not always as easy as the clichés make it sound. Trials and tribulations are inevitable, so it’s not the lack of trouble in your life but rather how you weather the storms that really counts.

First, when you sense a storm is brewing, take a tip from the sailors of the world and batten down the hatches! Sometimes storms seemingly come out of nowhere, but almost always, there are signs that danger is on the horizon. The sky gets dark, the wind picks up, and there is that unidentifiable ominous feeling in the air. Furthermore, there are people in your life who may even tell you a storm is on its way.

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5 Ways to Stay True to Yourself and Not Offend Others in the Process

self.jpgby David Bohl

The business world can be a tricky place when dealing with doing what’s right–keeping your personal values and morals in check. While you have to separate your business life from your personal life, it doesn’t mean you have to turn into someone you’re not in order to be successful.

It’s also important not to offend others in the process of doing what you think is right. You have to keep you personal views and what others think balanced. Keep these five suggestions in mind and you’ll be well on your way to doing what is right for you and not ticking people off as you go.

1. Know yourself.

We’re all different, which makes the world a much more interesting place. You may have a big mouth without a filter–saying exactly how you feel about things without thinking about how it sounds or how others will take it. Maybe you make faces that come off as bad to an observer but you really don’t mean anything by it. You have to know yourself–what your strengths are and what your weaknesses are. When you have this knowledge, you can do something about it so that you can still speak your mind and be yourself, but in more of an appropriate manner.

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Happy? Or Just Going Through the Motions?

nothappy.jpgHappiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.

~ Aristotle

I was shocked to read a recent study that reported less than 30% of people interviewed said they were deeply happy, and that 25% of Americans and 27% of Europeans claimed they are depressed. As a naturally happy person, I was amazed at how many unhappy people there are. Generally when I work with my coaching clients, they are not unhappy about everything in their life; they usually just have one area they are working on or one challenge to overcome.


So why are so many people unhappy? And why are so many people just going through the motions, appearing to be happy, pretending to be happy, when they’re really not?

The first step in determining if you’re happy or how happy you are is to define happiness. To some, it means doing what they want, having what they want, and being who they want, that is, fulfilling their dreams and desires. To others, it’s a state of mind that is not dependent on the outside world, but more on an inner contentment. And to still others, it’s about being responsible for their choices and accepting responsibility for whatever shows up in their lives, even if it didn’t seem like a conscious choice.
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The Ultimate List of 2008’s Most-Read Numbered Lists

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Here are the 12 Most-Read Numbered Posts in 2008 at Slow Down FAST:

12.    5 Tips for Becoming a Better Listener
11.    5 Qualities of Successful Relationships
10.    6 Ways for Effecting Change in Your Life
9.      6 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Busting Out of the Rat Race
8.      5 Signs It’s Time to Slow Down Fast
7.      6 Ways to Be a Friend Without Involving Money, Gifts or Obligation
6.      5 Ways to Reconnect to Your Inner Child
5.      10 Great Productivity Web Sites
4.      5 Signs You’re a Pleaser and What to Do About It
3.      5 Simple Tricks To Make You Smarter
2.      8 Essential Ingredients to Master Your Time
1.      The Causes and Cures of Procrastination

Thank you all for your support throughout the year, and best wishes in all your future endeavors.

How To Combat the Post-Holiday Blues

istock_000007311880xsmall.jpgBy now, the preparation for Christmas Day has reached its absolute peak.  The last minute gifts are being bought and grocery lists are being prepared for the holiday feast.  While preparing for the more obvious aspects of Christmas, we can also prevent post holiday blues by preparing for the emotional aspects of the day itself.

What, exactly, causes post-holiday blues?  For many, the simple reason is that the day doesn’t fulfill expectations.  Disappointment leads to the big let-down that many of us feel the day after Christmas (or any big event), and the best way to avoid it is simple:  lower your expectations.

Unrealistic expectations can lead to repeated disappointment, but the good news is that “lowering the bar” can reduce, if not eliminate post holiday blues and help you achieve your goals of peace on earth and good will toward men.  Some examples may include: (more…)

Top 12 Posts of 2008

I know it isn’t year-end yet, but experience and observation have shown that not many people want to begin the heavy lifting of reflection and self-assessment near the Holidays.

So, after 700+ posts in 2008, I’m publishing the 12 Most Read Posts at Slow Down FAST so we can all get a jump on the new year.

Thank you all for your support throughout the year.

Here they are:

  1. The Causes and Cures of Procrastination
  2. Mindhacks: 5 Ways to Increase Creativity, Productivity and Intelligence
  3. How to Overcome the #1 Fear: Public Speaking
  4. 8 Essential Ingredients to Master Your Time
  5. Do Not Wage Psychological Warfare
  6. Stuck in a Rut? Fire Up Your Creativity with These 7 Steps
  7. What Are You Passionate About?
  8. See How Easily You Can Handle Change
  9. How to Maintain Professional Boundaries
  10. 5 Simple Tricks To Make You Smarter
  11. 5 Signs You’re a Pleaser and What to Do About It
  12. From Greedy to Grateful – Appreciating What You Have

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Can We Finally Move On?

From my article Let’s learn from our mistakes and move forward at BizTimes.com:

istock_000006374278xsmall.jpg“The news headlines would have us believe that everything is coming to a crashing halt tomorrow. But as the sun still rises and sets, and we continue to put food on the table for our children and head to our daily grind … we know that the answer is no, of course, not!

Life goes on. The world keeps on turning. Of course, there are many distractions and much to-do about who is to blame for the financial crisis. And we want to know who is going to “fix” the mess that our nation finds itself in.

But one thing we need to remember as we embark on all of this speculation is: We can’t undo what’s already been done, and we can’t change what’s beyond our control.”

Read the rest of Let’s learn from our mistakes and move forward.

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Slow Down and Experience the Real Meaning of the Holiday Season

sledding.jpgby David Bohl

Amazingly, the holidays are upon us again. It feels as though this time of year comes so fast, turns our lives upside down and is over before we know it. Sometimes it’s hard to be fully present in the moment when we’re overwhelmed and stressed about gift giving, tons of parties to attend, and juggling our families through it all. It helps to step back and take it all in. Slow Down and enjoy the holidays.

Giving is better than receiving…

Make time for others. The good deeds you do will not only help others but really allow you to experience the true meaning of the holidays. Why not volunteer at a soup kitchen, organize a toy drive for underprivileged children or even make time at your child’s school for fun activities? Even simple gestures like baking cookies for your elderly neighbors or inviting those without families to visit during the holidays can be ways to give to others what they would have missed this year.

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Say YES to Personal Choice!

yes.jpgby David Bohl

Are you aware that you are at choice in every area of your life?

When I ask that question of my personal coaching clients they sometimes get very quiet, then say, “No. I don’t feel like I make all my own choices.” That’s a very common response. Many people feel like other people make choices for them, dictate what they “should” do, how they should do it, when they should do it, what they should eat, what they should wear, etc.

It begins, of course, with our parents. Until we’re at an age where they can trust us to make our own, correct decisions, they make our choices for us. If they were controlling, over-protective parents, they may not have instilled in us the opportunity to develop our ability to make our own wise decisions. Thus, we may have grown into adults still looking to others to choose our life situations. Or they may have taught us how to choose and take responsibility for our choices and we became confident, self-assured adults.

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6 Signs Your Perfectionism Might be Veering into Control Freak Territory

darklady.jpgAre you constantly redoing things to make sure they’re absolutely perfect? Do you find yourself noticing pictures on walls that are slightly crooked and straightening them, even if it’s not in your own home? Are you consistently late and always have a pat excuse? Do you criticize and find faults with others, but in your mind, you’re always right?

All of these behaviors are signs you might be a control freak! Yes, you! A control freak is someone with a need to control other people, situations, and environments to create a sense of security, false though it may be. This is ultimately to cover their own insecurities and fears. They become perfectionists because they can’t stand being wrong, inferior, or criticized. They have a need to be the best, and to avoid failure at all costs, again to cover up insecurity within themselves, which often they do not even recognize.

To keep from letting their anxieties overwhelm them, they control their life and keep their fears at bay. They’re often critical of themselves as well as others, because few can meet their expectations and high levels of performance. Needless to say, they are difficult to be around since there’s usually little room for compromise or communication. If you even suspect that you may have control issues, here are 6 signs you might be a control freak:

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