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Editorial Reviews

“The Power of Slow is a life-changing book. Far from stating the obvious, Christine Hohlbaum provides new insights and persuasive arguments for reshaping our time and changing our lives for the better. A must read in our over-scheduled world!”–Wendy Walker, author of Social Lives, Four Wives, and Chicken Soup for the Soul – Power Moms

“In the fast-paced world of Blackberrys, Iphones, and Twitter, it’s hard to find one’s footing. In an easy-to-read style, Ms. Hohlbaum has described a process of slowing down that is so very important to our wholeness, balance, and well being. She does so in a poetic and sometimes humorous way. She has captured a heavy topic with a light touch and yet we learn many lessons.  I highly recommend this book to help anyone who wants to stay healthy, sane, and enjoy life more fully.”–Bonnie Michaels, work-life balance expert and author of Solving the Work/Family Puzzle and A Journey of Work-Life Renewal

Product Description

Getting to the heart of our hassled and over-scheduled existence, Christine Louise Hohlbaum cheerfully investigates 101 ways to increase our quality of life and productivity by reevalu ating how we perceive and use time. She claims that everyone has their own personal bank account of time. We cannot control time itself, but we can manage the activities within the time we do have. The Power of Slow gives readers practical, concise directions to change the relationship they have with time and debunks the myths of multitasking, speed, and urgency as the only ways to efficiency.

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I once heard a great definition of worry: it’s negative goal setting. That’s because worry is always about the future, and none of us can really predict the future. It’s such wasted energy that could be constructively used to make the present a lot better. Reign in your overactive imagination. Imagine instead using the energy you would have expended on worry to envision a positive future.

Those who worry think that by worrying over an issue they are keeping it from happening, when in fact they may actually be attracting it. Based on the Law of Attraction, what you focus your thoughts on you draw to you. It’s helpful to understand this negative effect worry has in attracting what you are worrying about.

You might think if you worry enough about not forgetting what to say when you have to give a speech at work today, then somehow you could stop it from occurring. Yet, your worry might cause you to get nervous and create just what you were worried about happening. (Not to mention the physical side effects of chronic worrying like heart disease and ulcers.)

Take a look at something you’re worried about now and see what it’s really about. Are you worried you’ll catch the flu from your kids? Focus instead on the fact that you take good care of yourself, eat well, take supplements, exercise, and haven’t been sick in years. Then shift your focus to staying healthy and seeing the kids getting well quickly. Are you worried about having enough money for retirement? Focus on the present and be thankful that you have enough now and can put some away each month for the future. Then look at what you need to do realistically to reach the goals you set for your retirement.

Action is another antidote to worry. And if your life has really been pretty good so far, worry is just a bad habit and not based on any proof. If you look at all the good in your life, you’ll see that you’re only making up stories that will in most likelihood never come true. Save your creativity for writing novels.

We were also taught to not assume something good is going to happen or we’ll jinx it. Or don’t put all our eggs in one basket. A lot of these clichés actually create the opposite effect of what we intend. See if this helps. Ask yourself: what’s the worst that can happen? Then you can rationalize worry away by seeing your fears are unfounded.

Being appreciative for the present is a great way to reduce worry. If we are focusing on the good in our lives, we’re less likely to focus on imagined scenarios of what hasn’t even happened yet. And just because some event happened in the past is no reason to assume it will repeat itself in the future. I like this cliché: the past is history, the future is a mystery, and the present is a gift–that’s why it’s called the “present.”

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In fact, it sometimes seems that teens in their senior year have to be physically tethered to the ground to keep them from floating off the surface of the planet in their desire to be done with high school, their relinquishing of previous worries and their eagerness to start building their new lives. Wouldn’t it be great if you could recapture this feeling again in your own life?

Well, as it turns out, you can. All you have to do is wait, according to a surprising new study on happiness and aging.

Contrary to popular belief, according to this groundbreaking research, “the happiest Americans are the oldest,” These findings come from a study done by a University of Chicago sociologist, Yang Yang. “The good news.” Yang reports, “is that with age comes happiness. Life gets better in one’s perception as one ages.”

(source: http://www.newsvine.com/_news/2008/04/18/1438786-despite-myth-old-age-is-the-happiest-time-research-says)
The article goes on to say that, “There were ups and downs in overall happiness levels during the study, generally corresponding with good and bad economic times. But at every stage, older Americans were the happiest.”
Apparently, despite public perceptions, seniors are often far happier than their early-adult and midlife compatriots, more content with themselves and more relaxed about life in general. But what factors contribute to this end-of-life enhancing effect?

*Older people tend to be more accepting of their status in life – they are content to have done well and lived a good life, and place less importance on public acclaim, fame or other worldly achievement.

*Differences between race and income level tend to mean less, and therefore create less angst, as people age.

*Seniors may have a smaller social circle as they age, but they tend to socialize more and be less isolated than their busier, career-obsessed counterparts.

*Seniors are under less pressure to perform, and have fewer demands on their time than those in midlife, which creates far less stress and allows for more rest and recreation.

*The push to make a living and create your place in the world has faded by this time in their life – seniors aren’t coasting by any stretch of the imagination, but there’s less social pressure to “be somebody” or “make something of themselves.”

To summarize, older people are more likely to have let go of concerns that harassed them in their earlier lives, they’re more likely to be content with their current life (and looking forward to what’s coming) and they’re more likely to have moved on from previous social constraints and are enjoying their new-found freedoms with the ones they love. In short, they have senioritis.

However, the research is not all good news, especially for those of us still approaching senior age. As it turns out, Baby Boomers were the least happy group in this study. The reason? Unrealistically high expectations. Too many Baby Boomers have swallowed the propaganda that they can do and have it all, and are desperately trying to make that ideal a reality. They’re stressed to the breaking point by trying to be everything to everyone, and worried that they won’t live long enough, or be physically and financially fit enough, to do everything they want to as they move into retirement. Says Duke University aging expert Linda George, “They could end up living the unfortunate old-age stereotype if they can’t let go of their achievement-driven mind-set.”

And of all the lessons this research is trying to teach us, that might just be the hardest one of all.

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Was it a well-meaning parent who wanted you to grow up and be independent?

Was it some well-meaning author who wrote that you needed to be able to count on yourself?

Not only can’t you do it all alone, but it’s not as much fun. If you’ve ever felt all alone in this world, in life, in your business, in relationships, then you need to start building your support team.

Everyone’s team will look different. If you are an employee, your support team could be your assistant, secretary, employees you manage, or other executives. If you’re self employed, your support team is your staff and any assistants you have. If you’re a solo-preneur, you can use virtual assistants, accountants, graphic and web designers, and other service professionals for support.

Another aspect of a support team is often a community of like-minded people. These could be others in the same business, other business owners, a mastermind team, or members of an organization. The people you network with or who are in the same trade associations with you can be part of your support team. And if you join a mastermind group, you’ll receive ongoing encouragement, feedback, and support.

At home, we all build a variety of support with household help, gardening support, accountants, attorneys, baby sitters, family, friends, and neighbors. No one is truly alone in this world if they just reach out and ask for support. Building a support team will assist you to accomplish your day-to-day tasks as well as reach your bigger goals.

Leave the Expertise to the Experts

Let those who are experts at what they do offer their support. That way everyone does what they are best at and more people are served. There’s no need for you to do the heavy lifting in your yard, when there are those who are good at it and enjoy it. Just as you need those who ask for your expertise so they can be supported and you can do what you’re good at.

Outsource the Excess

When building your support team, think about where you have minimal knowledge, time, and skill. For example, few of us are technical experts, so we should all have a computer guru on our team. Not many people can do their own taxes, so a good accountant can be part of your support team. Additionally, most of us will have our hair stylist, dentist, physician, auto mechanic, financial advisor, and more and more of us are working with life coaches. If you are working with a coach, they may be able to help you build a solid support team.

Delegate for Success

You may need to sharpen your delegation and management skills to work with your team. It’s good to be clear about what you want done, when, how, and for what cost. Don’t feel that asking for and receiving support means you’re helpless or needy. It means you are smart enough to know when to delegate what is best done by others.

Support can also be found in books, movies, quotes, inspiring stories, healthy foods, nutritional supplements, and our own inner guidance—sometimes an overlooked resource.

Think about what in your life or work you need support for. What kind would work best for you? Free or fee? Live or not? What’s worked best before? For others? Then get going and build a fabulous support team.

Remember, you’re not all alone, any more.

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Wow! That was an eye opener, more like a brain opener, really. Try to think back to situations where you walked away with a very different impression than someone else – and this concept will become clearer to you. For example, let’s say that your first car was a turquoise Pontiac. And let’s say that you always considered it a blue car, as blue was your favorite color. One day, a friend of yours insisted it was a green car. Do you see how much of a difference can be made with a simple interpretation?

I’m sure you’ve had lots of those experiences throughout your life, and while they may have caused strife between you and your opposing opinionater (is that a word?), you probably eventually realized that it was not all that uncommon. But beyond whatever color we call an object, the deeper meaning that we assign to the same object, (or experience, or person) has a significant impact on how we move forward from there.

For instance, let’s say that you lose your job. If you assign negativity to that experience, you can easily sink into despair. But maybe another person out there might decide to assign a very different emotion and meaning to that incident. Maybe they’d think of it more like being set loose from the corporate culture so they could finally carve out a niche in business. Same occurrence, different meanings.

Where do our meanings come from? They come largely from our experiences, as well as our programmed beliefs. They come from messages we’ve gotten from parents, peers, and society. If we’ve been conditioned to place certain meanings on certain experiences, we automatically pull out that meaning. That means we have become robotic in our thinking and not choosing for ourselves.

If you want to change the meaning of what you experience in life from this point forward, all you have to do is question yourself. Do this whenever you don’t like the meaning you’ve assigned. Say someone sends you a nasty letter or email. (I recently got one from a seller on eBay because I misinterpreted an item). Now my first reaction might have been, what a jerk, how could he be so rude? This would be what we’ve been conditioned to think, that when someone “attacks” us we attack back. But if I want to change the meaning I give this event, I need to stop myself when I notice my automatic response and say, “how else could I interpret this?” And I told myself that this person may be having a hard day, he doesn’t even know me, and this is nothing to take personally. I just let it go.

You see, each moment in life can be an opportunity to learn, grow, and thrive. If we give a productive meaning to each experience, each person, we are choosing our own action, rather than reaction. How would your life be different if you were in the driver’s seat of placing the meaning on everything in your life? Practice this technique every day, and you’ll soon have the answer to that question.

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It’s natural to feel sad, angry, and a full range of other emotions. And we should allow some time to go through these feelings, before moving on. Yet, often we grieve longer than necessary because we feel it is what is expected of us. How long you choose to suffer, though, is up to you. If you can step outside your pain long enough to see that you have a choice, you may be able to learn from the experience and take away valuable life lessons. Additionally, if you can tune into the place within you that is always at peace, you may be able to get the courage to move on.

Here are some ideas I’ve used with clients who I’ve helped turn loss into learning:

1. Admit your feelings, express them, then let them go.

Some people write in a journal, some need to scream or cry, some have a creative outlet like singing or dancing, and some just need to talk. Open up to a good friend or your coach. When you’re ready to move on, let go of the grief, and step into acceptance, then joy. From there you will have a fresher perspective to learn whatever there is for you to learn from your experience. Life goes on, and you don’t want to carry your feelings of grief like an invisible shield that keeps you from opening up and getting close to others.

2. Breathe deeply and exercise.

Body movement is healing and increases blood flow and oxygen to all our cells. Oxygen nourishes and energizes every cell through deep breathing and exercise. Additionally, endorphins are released which create a feel good energy. Walking, especially near the negative ions of water, is the most beneficial exercise after a loss. Or do whatever exercise you enjoy whether dancing or playing golf. Whichever exercise you choose, focus on your breath as you move. When you breathe slowly, your body relaxes and you experience a quiet calm. From that state you can find peace in your loss and allow the lessons to emerge.

3. Meditate and pray.

If you are comfortable with meditation and prayer, these can be very fulfilling when dealing with loss. I love the phrase: Prayer is talking to God, meditation is listening to God. Whatever your spiritual beliefs, these methods allow you to turn inside to your higher self or your higher power. Take 15 minutes/day to spend in quiet contemplation–whether you meditate, pray, or do both. In that quiet place you can ask for and receive answers to help you make sense of your loss.

4. Nourish your body with healthy food.

While grieving, most of us are inclined to not eat at all, or eat only comfort foods. Neither of these paths are the best for your healing journey. Eat a lot of fruits and vegetables to keep your energy up, and drink plenty of water. If you need comfort foods choose low-fat yogurt over ice cream and whole grain pasta over pizza. Do your best not to overindulge in alcohol or other drugs. They only dull your senses, and don’t keep you open to experiencing your feelings so you can move through them. When you eat healthy and stabilize your diet, you’ll stabilize your emotions. Then take a look at what you’ve learned from your loss.

5. Do something positive and fun.

You might not feel like it at this time, but do your best to focus on something positive. Direct your thoughts to a good time in the past, and project to future good times. If you’ve been through a divorce, you might need to complete with the other person and find a way to forgive. You may even need to forgive yourself. Forgiveness starts the healing process and even if you don’t talk to the other person, it’s the most positive thing you can do for yourself, so you can move on.

Also, you might want to find someone who needs your help, and lend a hand. Maybe you can pass on what you’ve learned from your experience. A great way to bring back the fun is to watch a funny movie or read a book of humor. As you change your state, you will get to the other side of the grief and see that you’ve grown and come away changed from the experience–more than likely for the better.

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You read that right. May 29, 2007, Chad Hudgens was waterboarded as a motivational exercise. According to the article, Hudgens volunteered for what he thought would be a routine team-building exercise (as he noted, “Keep in mind, the last time we did a team-building exercise outside, we did an egg toss.”). Instead his coworkers held him down while he lay on a hill and poured water over his face, while his supervisor tried to inspire the team to greater sales by saying, “You saw how hard Chad fought for air right there. I want you to go back inside and fight that hard to make sales.”

(As an aside, I have no doubt that it worked. After all, if a member of your team just got waterboarded for low sales, you’d be “inspired” to work a lot harder, too, I bet.)

This article just boggles the mind. How could this happen, especially in this day and age of the 24/7 waterboarding scandal media marathon? Why didn’t someone just say no? What’s even worse, the company is trying to blow this off as no big deal, as if Hudgens is somehow blowing the whole event out of proportion. And they’re serious – they really don’t see what all the fuss is about.

So how does something like this happen? As it happens, there’s a very good reason. Several in fact. And if you don’t think something like this could happen to you or your business, read on.

*Groupthink. Groupthink is what happens when any group gets so insular, so isolated from the outside and so reliant on internal consensus and the desire to avoid conflict that decisions are made without critical thought, external reference points or rational perspective. The tighter and more stressed a group is, the more likely groupthink is to surface. In the article, it’s plain to see that this company was ripe for groupthink. They were missing sales, stressed to the point of breaking and there was a company atmosphere of punitive measures to enforce metrics. “It is a big pressure cooker in there, I’ll tell you,” said Hudgens. “…low performers were threatened with ‘the Cure Team’ — two weeks to improve or you’re fired.”

*Conformity bias. This is the tendency to do what others around you are doing, regardless of your own beliefs. It’s an amazingly strong compulsion – studies have shown repeatedly that almost everyone will choose the same false or incorrect answer that the others in the group (who are actually plants) have chosen, even though they know the answer is wrong. A preponderance of opposition makes us doubt our own judgment (maybe we are being too serious, or not seeing something), even in extreme examples.

*Group polarization. Groups will make riskier decisions than the individuals of that group would otherwise make. We get carried away by mob mentality, and no doubt feel protected by the presence of consensus and lack of specific blame. So we go along with things we might not otherwise be willing to risk.

Groupthink and its results can be disturbingly quick to set in, and very difficult to shake free of. The best-known case of this is probably the Stanford Prison Experiment (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_prison_experiment), in which a psychological study set up to observe how students would react in a prison setup (with half being randomly chosen as guards, and the other half as inmates) devolved within a matter of weeks into an Abu Ghraib-like nightmare, complete with physical and mental torture, emotional breakdowns and long-term psychological damage. What’s even more compelling is that the study was only halted when someone outside the group saw what was going on. Those in the study (even the professors who were supposed to be monitoring it) were too caught up in the events to see how far it had gone.

The fact is, any sufficiently insular group can fall prey to groupthink, if there are no external frames of reference to gauge actions against, and if there is no freedom to speak up or dissent without repercussions.

So how can you protect your company or group from getting caught up in such a nightmare? A few simple steps can make all the difference: Run ideas past others who have no vested interest in playing along. Mix teams up from time to time to prevent group dynamics from hardening into groupthink. Use positive, rather than punitive, means to enforce rules and create motivation. Assign specific people to play devil’s advocate in any project or endeavor. Don’t allow pressure-cooker situations to go unrelieved – sometimes taking a day off can result in better, faster results than pushing through and burning people out.

Oh, and if it involves torture or something that even vaguely resembles torture, please – just say no.

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However, only you can turn your obstacles into opportunities with your mindset. How you choose to react or act in the face of challenges is always up to you. I know, sometimes it doesn’t seem like you have a choice. That’s because we’re conditioned to think certain things mean something. If this, then that. We’re so conditioned, we forget that we have choices about how we perceive various events in our lives.

For example, if you were to set out on a trip from San Francisco to Las Vegas and your car broke down in the middle of the trip, you would see this as a problem or obstacle. If you choose to react, you would get angry, frustrated, and maybe blame your spouse for not having the car checked out. If you chose instead to act, you would get out your cell phone and call the Auto Club and get your car towed. You might find out this was a minor problem of a broken hose that could easily be fixed. But while the mechanic was changing the hose, he found a more serious problem that would have caused greater damage if gone unchecked.

So while you might have been a few hours behind schedule, you averted a major disaster. Your obstacle became an opportunity to have your car put into a better condition for the rest of your trip. I’m sure if you look at various challenges that have arisen in your life, you can see where there were possibilities of new opportunities rather than seeing the obstacle as the end of the line.

In addition to choosing the mindset of seeing obstacles as opportunities and not letting them irritate and stop you, it’s also important that you don’t deny that they’re there and try to ignore them or go around them. Like continuing to drive while your car is smoking which will only make the situation worse. So the first step then would be to accept the problem or challenge. Anything else, like denial, resistance, suppression, anger, attack, or ignoring it will keep you stuck.

Consider this new way of looking at life’s detours and see where you can find opportunities in your obstacles. It will not only make a difference in the results of your endeavors, but you will have a much brighter attitude and therefore attract lots of great opportunities to you. You just have to be aware, accepting, and willing to choose! It’s always up to you.

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Did you make any resolutions this New Year? You most likely had good intentions when making them, but how are you doing at keeping them?

The most common New Year’s resolutions I’ve seen are to lose weight, make money, and get or improve a relationship. Are these on your list of resolutions?

Most people may write out their resolutions, but I rarely see that they’ve developed a set of actions to achieve their goals. When you want to change a habit or unwanted behavior, you’re going to need more than just the desire or will power. You will need some specific actions, you may need some support and guidance, and you will definitely need accountability. Did you plan these along with your resolutions? I would venture to guess you didn’t!

Reaching your goals or changing habits takes a plan and takes some time. Just think about it. If you’ve had a particular habit for several years, you’re going to need some powerful tools and the necessary time to create a new habit.

For example, if you’re used to having a snack at 11 pm every night, you probably won’t break that habit overnight. You may set a series of actions that begins with having the snack one hour earlier. As soon as you can comfortably do that, you can reduce it to one hour earlier. Then continue to do this until you either give up your late night snack, or substitute it for a stalk of celery or whatever food would allow you to reach your weight goals.

See how that works? Or say you made a resolution to be more organized at work and at home. Now, you have a long standing habit of being a “messy” person. You’ve lived like that for many years, but have finally had enough. So along with your resolution, you have to plan how you will change that habit.

Initially, you might hire a professional organizer to get you started and teach you some organizational skills. You could have that person come back periodically to check up on you and hold you accountable. As soon as you see that your habit has changed, you can let them go or have them visit once or twice a year for maintenance.

How does that sound? You can do that with any resolutions you make. Remember, also, that when you make a resolution, you are making an agreement or a commitment to yourself. Do you honor commitments you make to yourself?

I know we are usually better about honoring agreements to others than to ourselves. So to keep your resolutions, start keeping your word and stay in integrity with what you promise to do for yourself. After all, aren’t you as important, if not more so, than the other people in your life? I would hope you said YES to that!

You can see how keeping New Year’s resolutions takes a little more effort than making them. Here are some suggestions that will help you be among the minority who actually keeps New Year’s resolutions:

1. Set resolutions carefully.

Only choose those goals that are most important to you and that you imagine you’ll be able to achieve. Make sure you have the time, energy, and resources necessary to accomplish the resolution. If you set too many, you could sabotage your efforts. When your daily “to-do” list has more action items than you can complete in a day, you’ll only be frustrated and achieve very little. Your focus should always be on the top priority items each day. That way you’ll always feel satisfied.

2. Schedule specific actions.

List the actions you’ll need to take to achieve a resolution, then, schedule the actions in your daily calendar. Most successful goal achievers spend some amount of time each day toward each goal or resolution. Making an appointment with yourself to take actions toward your goals is as important as the appointments you make with others in your work or personal life.

3. Adjustments & accountability.

Review your goals and actions at the end of each month to assess your progress. You might need to make some adjustments, like adding or removing an action, or checking off a goal you’ve accomplished. You might want to find someone to help keep you accountable if you’re not keeping your agreements to yourself to do what you need to do to reach a goal. Also, look and see if you’ve encountered some obstacles and need to figure out how to overcome them. Some common obstacles I’ve seen are resistance, procrastination, distractions, or avoidance. Can you relate to any of these?

4. Remember to celebrate.

It’s really a shame when I see people achieve a goal, and not even take a moment to congratulate themselves for a job well done before jumping right into the next goal. You worked hard, you overcame challenges, you stuck to your commitments, you took action. Now you deserve to treat yourself for the resolutions you’ve accomplished. Celebrate with whatever feels like a reward—a short vacation, a massage, or a day on the golf course.

Will 2009 be the year you keep your New Year’s resolutions? Let’s plan on it!

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Well, go ahead and take a big sigh of relief because I have some good news to share with you. Even though we’re going through a bit of a rough spot doesn’t mean you just have to throw up your hands and deal with it. Learn how to build your own wealth in a bad economy–and realize that it’s about more than what shows on your resume. Take matters into your own hands and take action now.

Start a side business

You’ve always dreamed of being your own boss. And while now may not be the time to quit your job and go 100% on your own, it may be the time to start a side business. It’ll allow you to pursue your dream and make a little extra money while you’re doing it. You’re probably thinking, start a new business when so many businesses are failing? Yes, you heard me right. Think about it for a moment. Even in a bad economy, there are opportunities to be had and you have to grab them. It comes down to the basic supply and demand rule, so think about how you may be able to benefit from a bad situation.

Maybe you’re a marketing manager. In this economy, one of the first cutbacks that a company makes tends to be their marketing department. Fortunately for you, these companies still have to market their products and services. They just can’t afford to employ the marketing people full-time, plus benefits, plus, plus, plus. So what about becoming a marketing consultant to these companies? It’s a win-win. They need marketing services and you have marketing services to offer. You may make enough money on the side to put it all into savings and investments. You may even find that it is lucrative enough to take it full-time.

Take a minute to think about your talents. Then take a minute to think about how you can profit from these talents.

Lower your spending

We all spend frivolously at some point in our lives. Do you really need a Starbucks every day? Or is it really necessary to spend $200 a month eating out at restaurants? The answer to both questions is no. One of the easiest ways to build your wealth is to stop spending it all! Keep tracking of your spending for one month. Then go line-by-line on your spending sheet and see where you can cut. You may find a couple hundred extra dollars, a few thousand dollars, or 20 extra dollars. Whatever the amount, start socking that money away instead of wasting it. And don’t mistake cutting back your spending for giving up living, either. There are plenty of free and low cost ways to entertain yourself and fill your coffee fix (or whatever fix you have).

Don’t make your exit from the stock market… stay calm

If you have money invested in the stock market, the odds are good that you’ve seen it decrease in the past year or so. This is not the time to panic, sell off all your investments, and start stashing money under your mattress. Panic sell-offs are just making a bad situation worse. The market is cyclical and goes up and down. Your wealth will go back up when the market goes back up–and eventually it WILL go back up. This is not to say that you should just sit back and watch your money disappear either. Evaluate your investments once a year and make necessary changes to watch your money grow. Now may be the perfect time to invest in a company that was too expensive before. It’s kind of like the stock market is having a sale. You can get into investments at bargain basement prices.

Even when times are rough, you can take action and turn the bad times into good ones for you. It’s not always about running off and getting a new job to increase your income and increase your wealth. Sometimes it’s about creatively thinking of ways that you can take advantage of the bad economy and turn it into a positive for you.

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