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Editorial Reviews

“The Power of Slow is a life-changing book. Far from stating the obvious, Christine Hohlbaum provides new insights and persuasive arguments for reshaping our time and changing our lives for the better. A must read in our over-scheduled world!”–Wendy Walker, author of Social Lives, Four Wives, and Chicken Soup for the Soul – Power Moms

“In the fast-paced world of Blackberrys, Iphones, and Twitter, it’s hard to find one’s footing. In an easy-to-read style, Ms. Hohlbaum has described a process of slowing down that is so very important to our wholeness, balance, and well being. She does so in a poetic and sometimes humorous way. She has captured a heavy topic with a light touch and yet we learn many lessons.  I highly recommend this book to help anyone who wants to stay healthy, sane, and enjoy life more fully.”–Bonnie Michaels, work-life balance expert and author of Solving the Work/Family Puzzle and A Journey of Work-Life Renewal

Product Description

Getting to the heart of our hassled and over-scheduled existence, Christine Louise Hohlbaum cheerfully investigates 101 ways to increase our quality of life and productivity by reevalu ating how we perceive and use time. She claims that everyone has their own personal bank account of time. We cannot control time itself, but we can manage the activities within the time we do have. The Power of Slow gives readers practical, concise directions to change the relationship they have with time and debunks the myths of multitasking, speed, and urgency as the only ways to efficiency.

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It’s natural to feel sad, angry, and a full range of other emotions. And we should allow some time to go through these feelings, before moving on. Yet, often we grieve longer than necessary because we feel it is what is expected of us. How long you choose to suffer, though, is up to you. If you can step outside your pain long enough to see that you have a choice, you may be able to learn from the experience and take away valuable life lessons. Additionally, if you can tune into the place within you that is always at peace, you may be able to get the courage to move on.

Here are some ideas I’ve used with clients who I’ve helped turn loss into learning:

1. Admit your feelings, express them, then let them go.

Some people write in a journal, some need to scream or cry, some have a creative outlet like singing or dancing, and some just need to talk. Open up to a good friend or your coach. When you’re ready to move on, let go of the grief, and step into acceptance, then joy. From there you will have a fresher perspective to learn whatever there is for you to learn from your experience. Life goes on, and you don’t want to carry your feelings of grief like an invisible shield that keeps you from opening up and getting close to others.

2. Breathe deeply and exercise.

Body movement is healing and increases blood flow and oxygen to all our cells. Oxygen nourishes and energizes every cell through deep breathing and exercise. Additionally, endorphins are released which create a feel good energy. Walking, especially near the negative ions of water, is the most beneficial exercise after a loss. Or do whatever exercise you enjoy whether dancing or playing golf. Whichever exercise you choose, focus on your breath as you move. When you breathe slowly, your body relaxes and you experience a quiet calm. From that state you can find peace in your loss and allow the lessons to emerge.

3. Meditate and pray.

If you are comfortable with meditation and prayer, these can be very fulfilling when dealing with loss. I love the phrase: Prayer is talking to God, meditation is listening to God. Whatever your spiritual beliefs, these methods allow you to turn inside to your higher self or your higher power. Take 15 minutes/day to spend in quiet contemplation–whether you meditate, pray, or do both. In that quiet place you can ask for and receive answers to help you make sense of your loss.

4. Nourish your body with healthy food.

While grieving, most of us are inclined to not eat at all, or eat only comfort foods. Neither of these paths are the best for your healing journey. Eat a lot of fruits and vegetables to keep your energy up, and drink plenty of water. If you need comfort foods choose low-fat yogurt over ice cream and whole grain pasta over pizza. Do your best not to overindulge in alcohol or other drugs. They only dull your senses, and don’t keep you open to experiencing your feelings so you can move through them. When you eat healthy and stabilize your diet, you’ll stabilize your emotions. Then take a look at what you’ve learned from your loss.

5. Do something positive and fun.

You might not feel like it at this time, but do your best to focus on something positive. Direct your thoughts to a good time in the past, and project to future good times. If you’ve been through a divorce, you might need to complete with the other person and find a way to forgive. You may even need to forgive yourself. Forgiveness starts the healing process and even if you don’t talk to the other person, it’s the most positive thing you can do for yourself, so you can move on.

Also, you might want to find someone who needs your help, and lend a hand. Maybe you can pass on what you’ve learned from your experience. A great way to bring back the fun is to watch a funny movie or read a book of humor. As you change your state, you will get to the other side of the grief and see that you’ve grown and come away changed from the experience–more than likely for the better.

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However, only you can turn your obstacles into opportunities with your mindset. How you choose to react or act in the face of challenges is always up to you. I know, sometimes it doesn’t seem like you have a choice. That’s because we’re conditioned to think certain things mean something. If this, then that. We’re so conditioned, we forget that we have choices about how we perceive various events in our lives.

For example, if you were to set out on a trip from San Francisco to Las Vegas and your car broke down in the middle of the trip, you would see this as a problem or obstacle. If you choose to react, you would get angry, frustrated, and maybe blame your spouse for not having the car checked out. If you chose instead to act, you would get out your cell phone and call the Auto Club and get your car towed. You might find out this was a minor problem of a broken hose that could easily be fixed. But while the mechanic was changing the hose, he found a more serious problem that would have caused greater damage if gone unchecked.

So while you might have been a few hours behind schedule, you averted a major disaster. Your obstacle became an opportunity to have your car put into a better condition for the rest of your trip. I’m sure if you look at various challenges that have arisen in your life, you can see where there were possibilities of new opportunities rather than seeing the obstacle as the end of the line.

In addition to choosing the mindset of seeing obstacles as opportunities and not letting them irritate and stop you, it’s also important that you don’t deny that they’re there and try to ignore them or go around them. Like continuing to drive while your car is smoking which will only make the situation worse. So the first step then would be to accept the problem or challenge. Anything else, like denial, resistance, suppression, anger, attack, or ignoring it will keep you stuck.

Consider this new way of looking at life’s detours and see where you can find opportunities in your obstacles. It will not only make a difference in the results of your endeavors, but you will have a much brighter attitude and therefore attract lots of great opportunities to you. You just have to be aware, accepting, and willing to choose! It’s always up to you.

NEWSFLASH: I’ve added another chapter to my life by joining C.A.S.T. Recovery, a Los Angeles based outpatient drug rehab program which specializes in designing highly individualized recovery plans with appropriate professionals to support a client’s health, accountability, and success.

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Did you make any resolutions this New Year? You most likely had good intentions when making them, but how are you doing at keeping them?

The most common New Year’s resolutions I’ve seen are to lose weight, make money, and get or improve a relationship. Are these on your list of resolutions?

Most people may write out their resolutions, but I rarely see that they’ve developed a set of actions to achieve their goals. When you want to change a habit or unwanted behavior, you’re going to need more than just the desire or will power. You will need some specific actions, you may need some support and guidance, and you will definitely need accountability. Did you plan these along with your resolutions? I would venture to guess you didn’t!

Reaching your goals or changing habits takes a plan and takes some time. Just think about it. If you’ve had a particular habit for several years, you’re going to need some powerful tools and the necessary time to create a new habit.

For example, if you’re used to having a snack at 11 pm every night, you probably won’t break that habit overnight. You may set a series of actions that begins with having the snack one hour earlier. As soon as you can comfortably do that, you can reduce it to one hour earlier. Then continue to do this until you either give up your late night snack, or substitute it for a stalk of celery or whatever food would allow you to reach your weight goals.

See how that works? Or say you made a resolution to be more organized at work and at home. Now, you have a long standing habit of being a “messy” person. You’ve lived like that for many years, but have finally had enough. So along with your resolution, you have to plan how you will change that habit.

Initially, you might hire a professional organizer to get you started and teach you some organizational skills. You could have that person come back periodically to check up on you and hold you accountable. As soon as you see that your habit has changed, you can let them go or have them visit once or twice a year for maintenance.

How does that sound? You can do that with any resolutions you make. Remember, also, that when you make a resolution, you are making an agreement or a commitment to yourself. Do you honor commitments you make to yourself?

I know we are usually better about honoring agreements to others than to ourselves. So to keep your resolutions, start keeping your word and stay in integrity with what you promise to do for yourself. After all, aren’t you as important, if not more so, than the other people in your life? I would hope you said YES to that!

You can see how keeping New Year’s resolutions takes a little more effort than making them. Here are some suggestions that will help you be among the minority who actually keeps New Year’s resolutions:

1. Set resolutions carefully.

Only choose those goals that are most important to you and that you imagine you’ll be able to achieve. Make sure you have the time, energy, and resources necessary to accomplish the resolution. If you set too many, you could sabotage your efforts. When your daily “to-do” list has more action items than you can complete in a day, you’ll only be frustrated and achieve very little. Your focus should always be on the top priority items each day. That way you’ll always feel satisfied.

2. Schedule specific actions.

List the actions you’ll need to take to achieve a resolution, then, schedule the actions in your daily calendar. Most successful goal achievers spend some amount of time each day toward each goal or resolution. Making an appointment with yourself to take actions toward your goals is as important as the appointments you make with others in your work or personal life.

3. Adjustments & accountability.

Review your goals and actions at the end of each month to assess your progress. You might need to make some adjustments, like adding or removing an action, or checking off a goal you’ve accomplished. You might want to find someone to help keep you accountable if you’re not keeping your agreements to yourself to do what you need to do to reach a goal. Also, look and see if you’ve encountered some obstacles and need to figure out how to overcome them. Some common obstacles I’ve seen are resistance, procrastination, distractions, or avoidance. Can you relate to any of these?

4. Remember to celebrate.

It’s really a shame when I see people achieve a goal, and not even take a moment to congratulate themselves for a job well done before jumping right into the next goal. You worked hard, you overcame challenges, you stuck to your commitments, you took action. Now you deserve to treat yourself for the resolutions you’ve accomplished. Celebrate with whatever feels like a reward—a short vacation, a massage, or a day on the golf course.

Will 2009 be the year you keep your New Year’s resolutions? Let’s plan on it!

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Well, go ahead and take a big sigh of relief because I have some good news to share with you. Even though we’re going through a bit of a rough spot doesn’t mean you just have to throw up your hands and deal with it. Learn how to build your own wealth in a bad economy–and realize that it’s about more than what shows on your resume. Take matters into your own hands and take action now.

Start a side business

You’ve always dreamed of being your own boss. And while now may not be the time to quit your job and go 100% on your own, it may be the time to start a side business. It’ll allow you to pursue your dream and make a little extra money while you’re doing it. You’re probably thinking, start a new business when so many businesses are failing? Yes, you heard me right. Think about it for a moment. Even in a bad economy, there are opportunities to be had and you have to grab them. It comes down to the basic supply and demand rule, so think about how you may be able to benefit from a bad situation.

Maybe you’re a marketing manager. In this economy, one of the first cutbacks that a company makes tends to be their marketing department. Fortunately for you, these companies still have to market their products and services. They just can’t afford to employ the marketing people full-time, plus benefits, plus, plus, plus. So what about becoming a marketing consultant to these companies? It’s a win-win. They need marketing services and you have marketing services to offer. You may make enough money on the side to put it all into savings and investments. You may even find that it is lucrative enough to take it full-time.

Take a minute to think about your talents. Then take a minute to think about how you can profit from these talents.

Lower your spending

We all spend frivolously at some point in our lives. Do you really need a Starbucks every day? Or is it really necessary to spend $200 a month eating out at restaurants? The answer to both questions is no. One of the easiest ways to build your wealth is to stop spending it all! Keep tracking of your spending for one month. Then go line-by-line on your spending sheet and see where you can cut. You may find a couple hundred extra dollars, a few thousand dollars, or 20 extra dollars. Whatever the amount, start socking that money away instead of wasting it. And don’t mistake cutting back your spending for giving up living, either. There are plenty of free and low cost ways to entertain yourself and fill your coffee fix (or whatever fix you have).

Don’t make your exit from the stock market… stay calm

If you have money invested in the stock market, the odds are good that you’ve seen it decrease in the past year or so. This is not the time to panic, sell off all your investments, and start stashing money under your mattress. Panic sell-offs are just making a bad situation worse. The market is cyclical and goes up and down. Your wealth will go back up when the market goes back up–and eventually it WILL go back up. This is not to say that you should just sit back and watch your money disappear either. Evaluate your investments once a year and make necessary changes to watch your money grow. Now may be the perfect time to invest in a company that was too expensive before. It’s kind of like the stock market is having a sale. You can get into investments at bargain basement prices.

Even when times are rough, you can take action and turn the bad times into good ones for you. It’s not always about running off and getting a new job to increase your income and increase your wealth. Sometimes it’s about creatively thinking of ways that you can take advantage of the bad economy and turn it into a positive for you.

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We are told to strive for unattainable lifestyles and to model ourselves after unrealistic, airbrushed models.

Sometimes you need to step back from this virtual reality and ponder what life is really about. Will that Mercedes or those anti-anxiety medications really make you happier, or are they only temporary solutions to deeper issues? Examine these five myths about how you should be living your life and start living the way you want to live.

Myth 1: Material Things Prove Your Worth

Someone once said, “One reason it’s so hard to save money is that our neighbors are always buying something we can’t afford.” Keeping up with the Joneses is certainly no way to live, and the desire to do so stems from a belief that material things prove your worth. Extravagant clothing, houses, and cars oftentimes serve as status symbols in today’s society, but when it comes down to it, what you have in your heart and mind is worth much more than what you’ve got in your wallet. Furthermore, comparing yourself financially to your friends and family will only cause envy and strife. Remember that while luxuries may be enjoyable, they don’t make you who you are.

Myth 2: You Should Always Take an Expert’s Opinion at Face Value

How many times have you taken your car in for a simple oil change, only to be told you need hundreds of dollars worth of repairs in other areas? Have you taken the mechanic’s word for it and shelled out the cash or gone in for a second opinion elsewhere? We tend to rely on experts for advice, whether they are doctors, lawyers, financial consultants, or repairmen, but you can’t forget that even though they are experts, they still don’t know everything. You always retain the power to do your own research or seek out another form of advice. You may find that separate individuals offer different yet complementary opinions that allow you to shape a more informed decision on the issue you are having.

Myth 3: When in Doubt, Medicate

It’s hard to make it through a 2-minute commercial break without seeing an advertisement for some sort of prescription drug. The prescription drug industry has exploded in the past decade, and Zoloft, Prozac, and Ritalin are now part of most Americans’ vocabulary. While there is something to be said for the positive benefits medications have to offer, they are certainly not quick fix on the road to happiness. Before asking your doctor about the latest mood-altering drug you saw on television or in a magazine, consider seeking therapy and using self-improvement strategies to alter your moods instead. Even if prescription drugs are a feasible option for your treatment plan, it’s important to remember that they are not a cure-all. Healing takes time and a repertoire of varying strategies in order to truly come about.

Myth 4: It’s Hip to Be Forever Young

The world today is filled with Peter Pans – adults who don’t want to grow up. Whether they are lacking in emotional maturity or in wrinkles, growing old has become a faux pas for a lot of people. Don’t get the wrong idea. It’s great to feel young at heart and to be physically fit, but it’s possible to do so and still age gracefully. Aging with class involves learning from your past. What’s the point of a life long-lived if you want to act like a child and look like one, too? Gray hair, laugh lines, and a cultivated point of view are things to be embraced, not shunned.

Myth 5: You Can Do It All

Society tends to tell us that multitasking and the ability to juggle lots of things at once is a good thing, but when you have too many things in the air, something is bound to get dropped. Ambition is a good thing, but you have to know when enough is enough. Yes, it’s possible to be a wife, a mother, a businesswoman, and the best baker at the church bazaar, but it’s also okay to say no when your best friend asks you to help her plan a charity gala. When you take on more than you can handle, the quality of your projects often suffers. Don’t feel pressured to be a yes-man. Even the best of us can’t do it all.

There are so many self-improvement blogs, magazines, and websites out there these days, everyone has an opinion on the way you should be living your life. It’s important not to focus on the myths flooding the media but to analyze your situations carefully and live the way that is right for you.

NEWSFLASH: I’ve added another chapter to my life by joining C.A.S.T. Recovery, a Los Angeles based national outpatient drug rehab program which specializes in designing highly individualized recovery plans with appropriate professionals to support a client’s health, accountability, and success.

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The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a leader as “a person who has commanding authority or influence.” Though this definition leaves room for leaders who influence their followers in a negative manner, such as Adolf Hitler, there are many leaders who have changed the world for good. In taking a page from the book of these modern-day leaders for positive change, you can improve upon your own life.

Oprah Winfrey

Oprah’s rags-to-riches rise to fame is a well-known story, especially since she has been noted as the most influential woman in the world. However, despite the fact that she can afford the best of the best, Oprah has remained true to her humble roots. Being at the head of a media empire as large as hers has subjected her to criticism and mocking, whether aimed at her weight, her romantic life, or her choice of reading material, but Oprah has found a way to succeed in spite of the naysayers. Through all of her ups and downs in the public eye, Oprah has upheld her own values and done things the way she believed was right. Take a tip from Oprah and follow your gut. It doesn’t mean you will be without hardships or criticisms, but when you do achieve something great, you’ll know it was because you stayed true to yourself.

Martin Luther King Jr.

Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech is one of the most quoted and most recognized speeches in all of history. At the time in American history when Martin Luther King Jr. spoke his famous words, the climate was tense and racially charged. Yet somehow, Dr. King remained a dreamer. He did not give up hope that one day his mission would be accomplished. Though his life met a tragic and early end, Dr. King should inspire you to dare to dream. When you allow yourself to have hope for the future, you never know when your dreams will come true.

Bono

It may be trendy to go by a one-word name, but Bono has done much more for the world than just following in the footsteps of Cher or Madonna. He is known as one of the world’s most prominent philanthropists and is often seen singing at benefit shows or acting as a spokesperson for charitable organizations. The lesson to learn from Bono is an obvious one – remember those less fortunate than you. Whether you have been blessed with unfathomable riches or you barely earn more than minimum wage, everyone can find something to give back to the global community. You’ll find that not only are you changing the lives of others when you give your time or money, but you’re also bettering yourself.

Al Gore

Al Gore has come a long way since losing the 2000 presidential election by a narrow margin. Whether you are a Republican, Democrat, or Libertarian, you have to acknowledge that for someone to spend the amount of time as is required to run for President of the United States and then lose in such a closely contended race as Mr. Gore, the result must be devastating. However, in the year 2008, the tides have turned. Al Gore is now a Nobel Prize winner and a well-known advocate for the fight against global warming. After his loss in the presidential race, he regrouped and found a way to follow his passion. In the same way, when you experience a disappointment in life, don’t give up. Use your setback to reevaluate your goals and find opportunities for future successes.

Bill Gates

A lot can be said about Bill Gates’ accomplishments as a businessman and a philanthropist. He is the richest American and one of the most well-known entrepreneurs ever. However, as much as Mr. Gates’ fame and fortune have brought him, he chose to step down as chief executive officer of Microsoft in 2000. You’d think it would be easy to become a workaholic when your company is as successful as his, but Bill Gates chose to pass on his obligations as a full-time Microsoft leader and pursue other opportunities. Similarly, even if you don’t have the luxury to retire early, make sure to maintain a balance between your work life and your personal life. No matter how successful you are in your career, you won’t be able to keep up “all work and no play” forever.

New leaders emerge each and every day in the world. They come from different walks of life and can teach you different lessons about how to succeed. The leaders in this article have been successful in their endeavors to change the world. By learning from the way they live their lives, you too can become a mover and a shaker.

Find Your True Calling and Be Happy.

David Bohl is offering The Happiness Trilogy as an alternative to personal coaching. Three self-improvement guides, packaged together at one low price. Includes “Your Life in Balance,” “The Goal Book,” and “Your Personal Mission Statement.” Learn more and order today!

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NEWSFLASH: I’ve added another chapter to my life by joining C.A.S.T. Recovery, a Los Angeles based outpatient drug rehab program which specializes in designing highly individualized recovery plans with appropriate professionals to support a client’s health, accountability, and success.

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Maybe it’s not your biological clock that’s keeping the Sandman away. It could be that elements of your life that are in disarray. Check out these six tips for sleeping better if you’re one of the millions of Americans that tosses and turns at bedtime each night.

Know Where You’re Going

The future is always uncertain, but setting goals makes the unknown a bit more tangible. When you have goals to progressively work toward achieving, you then have a map directing you to where you want to be. Although unexpected challenges and bumps in the road are certain to arise, you will sleep better at night knowing that you have a plan.

Bend a Little

Since life is unpredictable, being able to react with flexibility and open-mindedness when a curveball is thrown your way is essential to living — and sleeping — well. Having a plan is necessary, but you can’t react with shock and awe when things don’t go as you expected. Build room into your goals for unforeseen challenges and your worries will no longer be able to keep you up at night.

Make Sound Decisions

You’ve heard of buyer’s remorse – the guilt a consumer feels when he purchases something he later regrets. The truth is, any kind of remorse, buyer’s or otherwise, can affect your sleep patterns. When you feel guilty about a decision you made during waking hours, that decision will certainly haunt you when you lay your head down to sleep. That is why it is important to make sound decisions based on solid logic and reasoning. Impulsive actions are often the ones that cause the most grief, so you should avoid making large leaps on the spur of the moment. Though it is impossible to predict the results of every action, if you take care to think things through before acting, you can feel secure in knowing you did everything possible to ensure a positive outcome.

Don’t Fret About Finances

Money is one of the most stressed-over subjects among career-minded adults, but, as Cyndi Lauper sang, “money isn’t everything.” Being smart about how you manage your money, including knowing when to say enough is enough, is a great way to schedule some surefire z’s. Whether you have the luxury of working only part-time, or whether you must work a 50-hour week to pay the bills, you have to be at peace with what’s in your wallet at the end of the day. Maybe you can’t put a down payment on the house of your dreams just yet, but with diligence and some spending smarts, you might achieve that goal in a year’s time. Meanwhile, don’t let your bank account balance dictate the amount of rest you get.

Cut Out the Drama

There’s a reason Hollywood drama queens need professional makeup artists – to cover up the dark circles under their eyes that result from getting no sleep! High-drama celebrities might be able to last on four hours of sleep per night, but if drama in your life is allowing you only twenty instead of forty winks, it may be time to ask what all the fuss is about. There’s no denying that drama can be exciting, but it is also mentally draining. Seek out the source of your dramatic vibes and seriously consider whether it’s worth keeping in your life.

Put Off Today What Can Wait Until Tomorrow

Fact: There are only 24 hours in a day. If you attempt to spend 20 of those hours being productive or even worrying about how you weren’t productive enough, it’s sure to cause turmoil in your sleep life. When you feel overwhelmed with the amount of things you have to accomplish in a short period of time, that’s when you must prioritize. What must be done immediately, and what can wait? When you decide what can be put off, commit to that decision! Losing sleep over what you haven’t yet accomplished is just as bad as trying to cram too many things into too little time.

Though physical stressors are often the culprits when it comes to lack of sleep, emotional and mental dilemmas can play a huge factor in your sleep life as well. Next time your lavender-vanilla aromatherapy spray isn’t helping you drift off to dreamland, consider evaluating your life using the above factors and attempt to get a better rest the next night.

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The 21st-century world can be a dangerous place. The wide reach of the Internet and other technological developments makes people more interconnected than ever before. Though this interconnectedness can oftentimes be a positive thing, it opens the doors for identity thieves, child predators, and scam artists to take advantage of unsuspecting victims.

Furthermore, when news headlines are filled with stories of morally bankrupt business leaders and dishonest politicians, it makes the path to righteousness seem like an uphill battle. However, you can start the climb and hopefully have an effect on others by buckling down and beginning to live right.

Know Your Ten Commandments

The Ten Commandments brought down by Moses from Mount Sinai are often referenced when people cite their personal rules for living. Whether or not you use the Bible as your ethical measuring tape, it is important to have your own code of ethics to live by.

Survey your life and the world around you. What do you believe is right or wrong? Subjects such as abortion and the death penalty are hotly contested moral issues in the public eye, but when it comes to how you live on a daily basis, attempt to formulate guidelines that you feel comfortable with and then put them into action.

Find Your Purpose

If you work full-time, you likely spend over 2,000 hours at your place of employment in one year. Sure, some of those hours are spent eating lunch and chatting with colleagues around the water cooler, but the bulk of your time spent at work is used to contribute to your company’s purpose. When you spend such a huge amount of time on something, isn’t it only natural that you should feel useful in your position?

If you don’t feel fulfilled and like you have a purpose at work, it could be time to seek out a change that will allow you to feel more satisfied. Think of your personal code of ethics and what you value. Do you see these values coming into play in your work week? Having a job that helps you feel constructive and effective in the broader sense of things will certainly help you on your way to living right.

Do Unto Others…

Everyone knows the Golden Rule, “do unto others as you would have others do unto you,” but not everyone lives by it. It’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind and let stress rule your attitude and the way you treat others, but living right requires a determination to override negative feelings and focus on treating others with respect.

So, the next time your server at a restaurant brings you a hamburger cooked medium-well instead of the rare you asked for, or a newly licensed teenager rear-ends you at a traffic light, think back to a time when you got yourself into a situation that required a little grace and channel that energy.

Give Back

Anyone who has spent time volunteering can tell you that to give is better than to receive. No matter what stage of life you are in – rich or poor, young or old – opportunities abound in your community to help those in need. Volunteering can be a one-day, one-year, or even one-hour commitment, but its impact is sure to last much longer.

If you have plenty to give but don’t know where to allocate your resources, try searching the VolunteerMatch website. VolunteerMatch allows you to search by location and also by keyword. You can even search for virtual volunteering opportunities! Whether you choose to donate blood, tutor a child, or build a home, giving back to your community is a surefire way to start living right.

Buckling down and living right is not a fast process, but it certainly is a life-changing one. Don’t underestimate the power of your own resolve and the changes you can make in the world. Begin by analyzing your personal code of ethics and finding a purpose in your work, but continue the process by treating others how you would like to be treated and giving back to your community.

In the end, you will find your own life has been changed and the positive ripples that flow outward from your actions will in turn change the lives of others.

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If you had a dime for every time someone told you, “life isn’t fair,” you might dethrone Warren Buffet from his seat as richest man in the world. Unfortunately, being aware of life’s inequities doesn’t prevent them. In fact, hardships are virtually guaranteed to occur — it’s just a matter of when and where. So, when disaster strikes, you usually have one of two options – crumble under the pressure or become a survivor. Survivors persevere, but perseverance may not come naturally.

To find out how to be a survivor, read this collection of characteristics of those who keep at it when life gets rough and apply them to your own life.

Ask Questions

Survivors don’t just sit back and let life happen to them. Even though they are in the midst of a breakdown, they use their intuition and ingenuity to pose questions about what is happening to them. And they aren’t simply asking, “why me?”. Survivors use questions to gather information about the situation they are in and how it can be resolved. They also ask questions to learn how to prevent problems from occurring in the future.

See Things in a Different Light

Have you ever been stumped by a brainteaser and decided to let the puzzle simmer in your brain and return to it later, only to come back and find that the answer was right in front of your eyes the whole time? In this same manner, it’s helpful to attempt to find new ways to solve old problems. Survivors don’t get burnt out trying to fit a square key in a circular lock. In other words, they don’t repeatedly try a solution that clearly isn’t helping to solve a problem. To become a survivor, you need to look at things from all perspectives in order to find the best possible resolution.

Be Flexible

One of the absolute pillars of being a survivor is being flexible. Most people are not expecting it when disaster strikes. Therefore, it might be necessary to change your plans to accommodate the new developments.

If you become stressed by the thought of altering your roadmap to life, you will only add to the difficulties that have already been presented to you. Instead, work hard to keep an open mind and bend, don’t break.

Plan Ahead

There is a difference between worrying and planning. Worrying does little to prepare you for future challenges. It only deprives you of the time spent fretting over impossible-to-predict scenarios. Planning, on the other hand, is a practice used by survivors to allow them to effectively handle hardships when they do occur. For instance, keeping a first-aid kit in your house is a positive way to be ready if someone gets hurt. Worrying about your child scraping her knees every time she leaves the house is not. Survivors certainly aren’t psychic, but their ability to make effective and quality plans in advance of trouble’s wake allows them to rise above the ashes when the flames have been put out.

Set Goals

Goal-setting is an excellent strategy that allows you to step back and view a situation from an outsider’s perspective. Survivors can remove themselves from what is happening to them and see things rationally, which allows them to make benchmarks for restoration. You can set goals for how to deal with current problems or how to handle them in future settings. The idea is that you use goal-setting as a tool to step out from behind the “victim” title and become someone who makes the most of what they’ve got.

There is no telling what sorts of trials and tribulations you will go through in life, but there are always options as to how you can deal with it when these trials occur. Perseverance may be difficult, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. To be a survivor, you must simply use techniques and tactics that allow you to tackle your problems effectively and with an eye to the future.

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