Become the Change You Want to See

lamp.jpgby David Bohl, Personal Coach and Lifestyle Designer

All of the major changes in life and society, like the Civil Rights Movement, the call to save the environment, and even women obtaining the right to vote, did not just happen on their own.

People didn’t just sit back and say, “Man, that isn’t how it should be. I’m just going to stand back and see what happens.” These changes came about because someone stood up and said, “I am going to make a change and this is what I am going to do.”

You, too, have visions of a changed world for you, your family, and your children. You want to see a safer, more environmentally friendly, and peaceful world to live in. You want to see all of these changes, but you really want and need is to become the change that you want to see. You have to do your part to implement the change and influence others to create the change as well. No matter what the change is that you want to see occur, there are ways that you can become the change instead of just being a spectator. Change is not a spectator sport.

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Become a Savvy Consumer

money.jpgSave Time, Energy & Money!

by David Bohl

Whether economic times are abundant or tight, it’s always an advantage to be a savvy consumer. And whether or not your budget is abundant or tight, it’s always beneficial to know how to shop effectively.

I remember reading The Millionaire Next Door and was surprised to find that a common trait of most millionaires was thrift. I think that’s how a lot of them became millionaires. To me, thrift means spending only when you need to and spending only what you need to.

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5 Books to Read on the Quest for a Better Life

reading.jpgfrom Personal Coach David Bohl

When I was thinking about writing on this subject, I thought about how subjective this actually is. Anyone who is on the quest for a better life most likely has their bookshelves overflowing with “self-help” or “personal growth” books. And if you’re just beginning the journey on your quest for a better life, then you may be looking for someone to help you find the best books out of the thousands that shout down at you from the bookshelves in the personal growth section of your local bookstore.

You may also have gotten recommendations from friends and associates claiming, “You’ve got to read this book. It’s changed my life!” So either you said, “I’m so happy for you,” and ignored their request, or you ran to the bookstore or Amazon.com, bought the book, only to leave it languishing on your already full bookshelf. Or you read it and said, “What’s the big deal? I don’t get it.”

Therefore, choosing a reading list for you is a difficult task. The books we read are a very personal choice. We listen to recommendations, yet, what affects others may not affect us in the same way. Additionally, your quest might be to improve your physical well-being, your wealth, your relationships, your business, or your mental or emotional health. Whatever your focus is on, will ultimately determine the books that will have the greatest impact on you.

That said, the ones I have chosen are classics, so millions of people have endorsed them. Still that doesn’t mean they will change your life, but they may have some impact on you, at least to get you thinking and reading, and maybe lead you to other books that will support your quest for a better life.

So here is my list. With these 5 books, you can’t go wrong. They may become some of your top favorites as well.

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6 Priceless Practices That Will Help You Be a Better Parent

family.jpgParenting in the 21st century is a complex task. You must find a balance between work, kids, and your own happiness. While it can be difficult to please everyone, there are a few priceless parenting practices that will help you achieve order in your life and maintain a sense of personal fulfillment.

Remember Your Roots
As a parent, it’s sometimes easy to forget what it was like to be a kid. In a world filled with violence, drugs, and teenage pregnancies, it can be tempting to shelter your child and protect them from danger. However, it is important to look at this same world through the rosy glasses of a young person, if not to change your point of view then to at least understand that of your child. Communication is always improved when both parties can see the reasoning behind one another’s arguments, so empathizing with your child’s feelings while staying true to your adult wisdom can greatly strengthen your relationship.

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PRODUCTIVITY, EFFICIENCY, EFFECTIVENESS, and FOCUS – Doing the Next Right Thing

There has been an exponential explosion of information available for increasing personal productivity, so much so that it’s become known as productivity porn (or, for those active on the Net and looking to avoid spam blockers, productivity pr0n). Productivity Pr0n consists of those techniques, tools, and all-out systems for getting more organized and maximizing personal productivity.

This full-fledged industry has given rise to Productivity Nirvana, Productivity Gurus, an army of Life Hackers (those who provide productivity tips), and Life Optimizers.

But something’s missing here. If virtually everybody is doing these things, where’s the edge? How can you find out what works for you? Where can you bring your unique strengths and values to the value proposition?

The problem with productivity, as it’s come to be known, is that it doesn’t go far enough. Productivity is a nebulous concept. Its objectives are limited, if not vague.

David Allen, THE Productivity Guru, said: “You don’t have time to do any project, because you actually can’t do a project – you can only do action steps.”

Productivity is about doing things and that simply isn’t enough. It’s a good place to start, but you’ll need to move on from there.

You need to take things to the next level, so you focus on efficiency.

Arnold Bennett said: “A sense of the value of time–that is, of the best way to divide ones time into ones various activities–is an essential preliminary to efficient work; it is the only method of avoiding hurry.”

In other words, efficiency is about doing things right. Becoming more efficient allows you to accomplish specific tasks in the most proficient and cost-effective (in terms of time and money), as well as least wasteful, ways possible.

Being productive and efficient together isn’t sufficient, though. Doing many things proficiently that wind up taking a lot of your time doesn’t help if you aren’t able to choose the best and most important things to focus on.

That’s where effectiveness comes in. Simply put, effectiveness is doing the right things. It means possessing the ability to direct your energies toward and accomplish those things that bring you nearer to your goals and objectives.

Jawaharlal Nehru said: “Action to be effective must be directed to clearly conceived ends. “

Being effective essentially eliminates the human drive to be busy for the sake of being busy, procrastinating, and becoming diverted by focusing on the unimportant. Effectiveness is where we all want to operate.
It all makes sense and sounds simple, right?

But wait a minute …. Now you ask: “Of all the things in front of me that are available and that I’m fully capable of doing, how do I determine the “right things” to do first – to do NOW?”

Congratulations! You’ve hit the nail on the head. You’ve uncovered THE secret to “productivity” that you don’t commonly read about.

The key to being productive, efficient, and effective is simply to do the next right thing.

Walter Savage Landor said: “People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend.”

How do you figure out what the next right thing is?

The best way I know to describe this is to suggest that you become apperceptive. It’s about being focused, centered, and engaged. To strive to do the next right thing, you want to:

  • You want to be introspective, constantly examining your thoughts, beliefs, and values to relate what you’re experiencing – what’s directly in front of you that you want to accomplish – to what you’ve experienced in the past.
  • You want to bring all your creative talents to bear upon the moment at hand to look at opportunities and challenges from all angles, considering the alternatives, and opening your mind to the new possibilities.
  • You want to take the time to stop and think about what you’re doing and where you’re going – to have a sense of direction.
  • You want to operate on instinct. You want to be able to know and act without having to undergo the process of examination at every turn.
  • You want to reorder your life so that all the extraneous clutter is removed from your thought process.

Remove the distractions – it’s fairly straightforward to figure out what they are –and you’ll find yourself more alert, awake, aware, and alive. You’ll find that you’ll be clearer and more focused about doing the next right thing.

Mindhacks: 5 Ways to Increase Creativity, Productivity and Intelligence

“Early to bed and early to rise will make a man healthy, wealthy and wise.”

istock_000005152907xsmall.jpgWe’re all familiar with this old proverb, popularized in Benjamin Franklin’s “Poor Richard’s Almanac.” And in this day and age, most people will do just about anything to give themselves a mental edge, including hitting the sack early and rising with the dawning sun if need be. But aside from this anecdotal option, are there any proven ways to increase your brainpower? Absolutely.

Memory games 

According to a recent study reported in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, researchers have discovered that playing memory games (such as matching pictures on face-down cards) can improve your “fluid intelligence” – your ability to solve new problems – because both memory and fluid intelligence seem to use the same neural pathways. Once thought to be set in stone, the news that fluid intelligence can be improved by intentional exercise is considered a breakthrough result. So haul out those memory games and get busy getting smarter. (more…)

Are You Too Comfortable in Your Discomfort Zone?

We all live in a framework of ideas, beliefs, and actions known as our comfort zone. It’s what we know and what we’ve always done. But when we get to a point of discomfort either because we’re bored, unhappy, or just ready to spread our wings and move to the next level, our comfort zone becomes our discomfort zone. And if we don’t do anything to move beyond our self-imposed barriers, we become too comfortable in our discomfort zone. At this point it’s no longer a comfort zone, but more of a familiar zone.

istock_000005542012xsmall.jpgAs human beings if we’re not growing, we’re stagnant. And if we want to grow, our comfort zone will hold us back. So we’re always needing to stretch the limits further and further out. There’s no growth if we stay inside our comfort zone. When you stay where you are, we call that being stuck. Maybe you’re unconsciously stuck, that is, you don’t realize you’re unhappy, because you’re numb and have become complacent staying where you are. Maybe you’re consciously stuck because you don’t know what to do to move beyond your comfort zone. You’ve tried different strategies but nothing seems to move you to the next level.

Now here’s the paradox. (more…)

Are Your Projects Failing

Because of Group Dynamics?

“If you’re working in a big group, you’re fighting human nature.” So says Nathan Zook in a recent article for 37 Signals. (http://www.37signals.com/svn/posts/995-if-youre-working-in-a-big-group-

youre-fighting-human-nature). In fact, the research shows that the most effective and efficient project groups tend to be in the range of 8 to 14 people.

istock_000005799789xsmall.jpgReferring to a report on business author Antony Jay’s book, “The Corporation Man,” Zook says that the ideal group size has historically hovered around what Jay calls a “ten-group.” Apple calls these groups “2-pizza teams,” meaning that the entire team can be fed with two pizzas – most of their best products have been the result of 2-pizza teams. Within a group that size, decisions are made quickly and collectively, effort is evenly distributed and actions are highly mobile and quickly maneuverable.

Let the group get larger than that, however, and it gets unwieldy. Decisions have to be formally discussed in a series of meetings, as members of a larger group are often out of the loop. Some members may slack off or have their voices drowned out by other more charismatic members. Eventually, larger groups devolve into cliques and other subgroups as the group dynamic tries to equalize itself around the ideal, slowing the work and stymieing progress.

Whether you’re leading a project team at work, organizing a church committee or starting a political action group, you should keep this dynamic in mind when choosing your team. But what is it, exactly, that makes a ten-group such an effective size? And how can you successfully staff your team for best effect?

Here are a few factors you should be aware of: (more…)

What Are You Motivated By: Pain or Pleasure?

istock_000006141383xsmall.jpgPeople are motivated by pain than pleasure. In other words, they are more determined to move away from their pain, than they are to move toward pleasure.

Think about that for yourself. What motivates you? Do you have to get really unhappy with the way your life is in order for you to make changes? Do you have to be really angry at someone before you tell them how you feel? Do you have to have serious bodily pain before you go to the doctor or massage therapist?

Or are you more motivated to move toward pleasure? Do you go to the dentist twice a year to practice preventive maintenance on your teeth? Do you take your car in for service every 10,000 miles to keep it humming smoothly? Do you offer gratitude every day to count your blessings and attract more good into your life?

Organizational consultant and seminar leader Robert Fritz’s studies have shown that although we might use scare tactics to make short term changes or reach short term goals, we must move toward something positive to make lasting change or reach bigger goals. The goal, the desire, or whatever the positive motivation is will more likely draw ir to you because of the law of attraction.

As we know, what we focus on is what we create. When we’re moving away from pain, we’re focused on the pain, and often we create more pain. Say you have a toothache. You can go to the dentist and expect the worst and you might get some bad news. But if you’ve been taking care of your teeth and you go to the dentist with a toothache, imagining it’s just a minor issue, you will most likely have good news.

What would you rather focus on anyway–what you want to avoid or what you want to create? (more…)

The Hardest Part of Getting Things Done

istock_000006114834xsmall.jpgHave you ever noticed that the hardest part of getting things done is starting them in the first place?

It’s true. We’ve all felt the dread of that looming project, where, say, you’ve got to kick things off with a phone call but you just can’t get to dialing. Or how about when the house is a disaster and the kids (dogs?) need a bath. But instead of tackling those chores, you do something like drift away to visit a website that you just know is going to teach you how to manage your life more efficiently.

Sure, any attempt at self-improvement (even the ones that grow out of a need to procrastinate) is a step in the right direction. But if we’re learning and prepping 80% of the time, yet acting only 20% of the time… then we’re really just procrastinating the procrastination. It’s time to nip this problem in the bud. Ditch those beliefs and behaviors that just aren’t serving you anymore, and trade them for ones that bring you closer to your goals (and relief!).

Here are some tips on how you can become an eternal spring of self-motivation… without reading every self-help book in creation or resorting to having a personal trainer following you around supervising your every move! (more…)