Happy? Or Just Going Through the Motions?

nothappy.jpgHappiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.

~ Aristotle

I was shocked to read a recent study that reported less than 30% of people interviewed said they were deeply happy, and that 25% of Americans and 27% of Europeans claimed they are depressed. As a naturally happy person, I was amazed at how many unhappy people there are. Generally when I work with my coaching clients, they are not unhappy about everything in their life; they usually just have one area they are working on or one challenge to overcome.


So why are so many people unhappy? And why are so many people just going through the motions, appearing to be happy, pretending to be happy, when they’re really not?

The first step in determining if you’re happy or how happy you are is to define happiness. To some, it means doing what they want, having what they want, and being who they want, that is, fulfilling their dreams and desires. To others, it’s a state of mind that is not dependent on the outside world, but more on an inner contentment. And to still others, it’s about being responsible for their choices and accepting responsibility for whatever shows up in their lives, even if it didn’t seem like a conscious choice.
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Job Complacency: How to Spot it and How to Deal with It

cookiecutterjob.jpgby David Bohl

“This isn’t my dream job, but it pays the bills and it’s close to my house.”

“I’ve been here for ten years and the company is good to me. While things aren’t always great, I should stick it out when times are tough.”

If these statements sound like something you’ve said or what the voice in your head is saying, now is the time to take a serious look at whether or not you’re suffering from job complacency. Especially in rough economic times, like the ones we’re experiencing now, you’ve got to be hyper-alert to what is going on with your job, your company, and the job market in general. Complacency doesn’t mean it’s time to switch jobs. It may or may not be that you need a new job. It may be as simple as correcting what you need to while sticking it out with the same company.

3 ways complacency in the workplace can negatively affect you:

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What Lessons Can We Learn from A Charlie Brown Christmas?

I was skimming through some Christmas posts of mine from a year ago and came across one I’d like to share with you this year.

Here’s a little history of Charles Schultz and A Charlie Brown Christmas:

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Would it surprise you to know that Charles Schultz, the creator of the extremely successful and enduring Peanuts cartoon, battled many of the same disenchantments and struggled with self-confidence as did his comic-strip characters? He did.

Additionally, he stirred controversy with A Charlie Brown Christmas. CBS executives wanted a comedy from Schultz, but he found he couldn’t be true to himself by compromising his message. The network was reluctant to use children for the characters’ voices. Moreover, they didn’t want that religious message.

But Schultz held strong, and Charlie Brown, Lucy, Linus, and Snoopy’s version of Christmas became one of the most popular and dearly loved specials of all time, including today.

The single biggest lesson to be learned from Charles Schultz: Persistence.

PERSISTENCE is defined as continuing despite difficulties, opposition, or discouragement.

  • Stick to your intuition even when struggling with opposition and self-doubt.
  • Be true to yourself. Don’t comprimise your beliefs.

Happy Holidays to all of you, and Merry Christmas Charlie Brown !!!
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The Ultimate List of 2008’s Most-Read Numbered Lists

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Here are the 12 Most-Read Numbered Posts in 2008 at Slow Down FAST:

12.    5 Tips for Becoming a Better Listener
11.    5 Qualities of Successful Relationships
10.    6 Ways for Effecting Change in Your Life
9.      6 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Busting Out of the Rat Race
8.      5 Signs It’s Time to Slow Down Fast
7.      6 Ways to Be a Friend Without Involving Money, Gifts or Obligation
6.      5 Ways to Reconnect to Your Inner Child
5.      10 Great Productivity Web Sites
4.      5 Signs You’re a Pleaser and What to Do About It
3.      5 Simple Tricks To Make You Smarter
2.      8 Essential Ingredients to Master Your Time
1.      The Causes and Cures of Procrastination

Thank you all for your support throughout the year, and best wishes in all your future endeavors.

How To Combat the Post-Holiday Blues

istock_000007311880xsmall.jpgBy now, the preparation for Christmas Day has reached its absolute peak.  The last minute gifts are being bought and grocery lists are being prepared for the holiday feast.  While preparing for the more obvious aspects of Christmas, we can also prevent post holiday blues by preparing for the emotional aspects of the day itself.

What, exactly, causes post-holiday blues?  For many, the simple reason is that the day doesn’t fulfill expectations.  Disappointment leads to the big let-down that many of us feel the day after Christmas (or any big event), and the best way to avoid it is simple:  lower your expectations.

Unrealistic expectations can lead to repeated disappointment, but the good news is that “lowering the bar” can reduce, if not eliminate post holiday blues and help you achieve your goals of peace on earth and good will toward men.  Some examples may include: (more…)

Top 12 Posts of 2008

I know it isn’t year-end yet, but experience and observation have shown that not many people want to begin the heavy lifting of reflection and self-assessment near the Holidays.

So, after 700+ posts in 2008, I’m publishing the 12 Most Read Posts at Slow Down FAST so we can all get a jump on the new year.

Thank you all for your support throughout the year.

Here they are:

  1. The Causes and Cures of Procrastination
  2. Mindhacks: 5 Ways to Increase Creativity, Productivity and Intelligence
  3. How to Overcome the #1 Fear: Public Speaking
  4. 8 Essential Ingredients to Master Your Time
  5. Do Not Wage Psychological Warfare
  6. Stuck in a Rut? Fire Up Your Creativity with These 7 Steps
  7. What Are You Passionate About?
  8. See How Easily You Can Handle Change
  9. How to Maintain Professional Boundaries
  10. 5 Simple Tricks To Make You Smarter
  11. 5 Signs You’re a Pleaser and What to Do About It
  12. From Greedy to Grateful – Appreciating What You Have

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Can We Finally Move On?

From my article Let’s learn from our mistakes and move forward at BizTimes.com:

istock_000006374278xsmall.jpg“The news headlines would have us believe that everything is coming to a crashing halt tomorrow. But as the sun still rises and sets, and we continue to put food on the table for our children and head to our daily grind … we know that the answer is no, of course, not!

Life goes on. The world keeps on turning. Of course, there are many distractions and much to-do about who is to blame for the financial crisis. And we want to know who is going to “fix” the mess that our nation finds itself in.

But one thing we need to remember as we embark on all of this speculation is: We can’t undo what’s already been done, and we can’t change what’s beyond our control.”

Read the rest of Let’s learn from our mistakes and move forward.

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Slow Down and Experience the Real Meaning of the Holiday Season

sledding.jpgby David Bohl

Amazingly, the holidays are upon us again. It feels as though this time of year comes so fast, turns our lives upside down and is over before we know it. Sometimes it’s hard to be fully present in the moment when we’re overwhelmed and stressed about gift giving, tons of parties to attend, and juggling our families through it all. It helps to step back and take it all in. Slow Down and enjoy the holidays.

Giving is better than receiving…

Make time for others. The good deeds you do will not only help others but really allow you to experience the true meaning of the holidays. Why not volunteer at a soup kitchen, organize a toy drive for underprivileged children or even make time at your child’s school for fun activities? Even simple gestures like baking cookies for your elderly neighbors or inviting those without families to visit during the holidays can be ways to give to others what they would have missed this year.

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Say YES to Personal Choice!

yes.jpgby David Bohl

Are you aware that you are at choice in every area of your life?

When I ask that question of my personal coaching clients they sometimes get very quiet, then say, “No. I don’t feel like I make all my own choices.” That’s a very common response. Many people feel like other people make choices for them, dictate what they “should” do, how they should do it, when they should do it, what they should eat, what they should wear, etc.

It begins, of course, with our parents. Until we’re at an age where they can trust us to make our own, correct decisions, they make our choices for us. If they were controlling, over-protective parents, they may not have instilled in us the opportunity to develop our ability to make our own wise decisions. Thus, we may have grown into adults still looking to others to choose our life situations. Or they may have taught us how to choose and take responsibility for our choices and we became confident, self-assured adults.

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Goal Setting Checkpoint: How Are You Doing With Those Plans You Made?

coaching1-300.jpgby David Bohl

Setting your goals on January 1 is a great way to start your new year with direction and motivation. Of course, you can set goals any time of year. However, after you set goals, your next step is to take action. And, then you need a goal setting checkpoint to monitor your results.

As you take action on your goals, you will most likely encounter obstacles, resistance, and detours, as well as small and large successes. The challenges will force you to make adjustments, and maybe even change the goal or take new actions. The successes need to be celebrated and new goals established to replace the ones achieved.

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