This movie is A MUST SEE !!!  I think it was better the second time, even though it was only 5 days later when I viewed it the second time.

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Forget the dramatization of addiction on reality TV. Living with addiction day in and day out is much more horrific. The New York Times nailed it:

“The degree to which “Smashed” refuses to indulge a voyeuristic taste for the kind of sordid details exploited by reality television amounts to an unspoken declaration of principle.”

http://movies.nytimes.com/2012/10/12/movies/smashed-by-james-ponsoldt-looks-at-alcoholism.html?_r=0

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It’s an age-old question, one that is hotly debated at treatment centers and enthusiastically discussed in 12 Step rooms.

Now’s your chance to weigh in on the discussion.

What Is Recovery is a project of the Alcohol Research Group (ARG.  ARG conducts and disseminates research in alcohol consumption and problems, alcohol health services and policies, and trains future generations of alcohol researchers.

The project is funded by the National Institutes of Health (NIH).

Participants complete a Web-based survey about your definition of recovery. You do not have to provide any personal identifying information to participate. It is anonymous, which means that we will not be able to identify you as having participated in the study, and we will not be able to link your answers to you. Answers to the web survey also are confidential.

To be eligible to participate in the project, you must be at least age 18 and consider yourself as being in recovery from an alcohol or drug problem.

This is important to the recovery and treatment communities.  Please take the time to share your thoughts.

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Wikipedia describes synchronicity as “the experience of two or more events that are apparently causally unrelated or unlikely to occur together by chance, yet are experienced as occurring together in a meaningful manner. The concept of synchronicity was first described in this terminology by Carl Gustav Jung, a Swiss psychologist, in the 1920s.”

For those of us who need to keep things simple,  Dr. Jung used the simple term “meaningful coincidence” to describe these events.

Would you believe that I had (another) one just two days ago?  While walking down the block outside of my office, a car stopped at the light beeped at me.  I waved, then recognized the passenger as someone I knew through my work.  She waved me over, asking me to come closer.  I did.  She the said “I just want you to know that meeting you was the greatest thing ever to happen to me.

As I walked away, I thought to myself:  ”What are the odds that I walked out of work at the same time one of 3,000,000 Chicagoans I knew was driving by?  What if I had stayed a minute longer talking with the front desk staff at work?  What if the light was green when she approached it?  What if I had my iPod earbuds in and the volume was cranked on my iPhone?  What if I had tunnel vision and simply didn’t see her?  Well … we never would have shared that moment.

The saying in recovery goes:  ”Is it odd, or is it God?”  I guess I’m thinking that “synchronicty” just doesn’t begin to describe what happened.

What do you think?

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Native Americans have created the term “Wellbriety” that combines the words “sobriety” and “wellness” to more fully describe the process of recovery.  In addition, it avoids the stigma associated with those other words.

How about you?  How do you feel about these words?  Have you found any alternative terms that you feel more comfortable with?

David B. Bohl is a life coach, chemical dependency counselor, and recovery coach.

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David Bohl is a domestic adoptee directly affected by chemical dependency.  He shares the following philosophy with Adoptees Have Answers:  The power of the narrative–sharing one’s story with others – empowers, inspires, and positively affects all of those involved in the dialogue.  For those of you with 12-Step recovery experience, this message clearly translates into “One alcoholic (addict, etc.) helping another.”

The group will affirm 12 Step principles in its support of members, and much emphasis will be placed on acceptance.  Says Bohl: “Accepting ourselves as we are today – truly loving ourselves – is contingent upon giving up all hope for a better past.”

The group is FREE and open to adult adoptees  18 years and older.   The first support group meeting will be held Monday, December 13th, from 7:00 to 8:00 PM.  For additional information, please contact David Bohl.  Or simply stop by – no reservation needed!

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Dear Lindsay,

Please , please, PLEASE ask for help.

You’re quoted in this article as saying “Substance abuse is a disease, which unfortunately doesn’t go away overnight.”

NO, LINDSAY! Substance DEPENDENCE is a DISEASE. There is no generally-agreed upon definition of substance ABUSE, but it’s no disease according to the DSM-IV-TR of the American Phycological Association of Substance Abuse:

A. A maladaptive pattern of substance use leading to clinically significant impairment or distress, as manifested by one (or more) of the following, occurring within a 12-month period:

1. Recurrent substance use resulting in a failure to fulfill major role obligations at work, school, or home (e.g., repeated absences or poor work performance related to substance use; substance-related absences, suspensions or expulsions from school; neglect of children or household)

2. Recurrent substance use in situations in which it is physically hazardous (e.g., driving an automobile or operating a machine when impaired by substance use)

3. Recurrent substance-related legal problems (e.g., arrests for substance-related disorderly conduct

4. Continued substance use despite having persistent or recurrent social or interpersonal problems caused or exacerbated by the effects of the substance (e.g., arguments with spouse about consequences of intoxication, physical fights)

B. The symptoms have never met the criteria for Substance Dependence for this class of substance.

SUBSTANCE DEPENDENCE (ADDICTION) is defined as:

A maladaptive pattern of substance use leading to clinically significant impairment or distress, as manifested by three (or more) of the following, occurring any time in the same 12-month period:

1. Tolerance, as defined by either of the following:
(a) A need for markedly increased amounts of the substance to achieve intoxication or the desired effect or
(b) Markedly diminished effect with continued use of the same amount of the substance.

2. Withdrawal, as manifested by either of the following:
(a) The characteristic withdrawal syndrome for the substance or
(b) The same (or closely related) substance is taken to relieve or avoid withdrawal symptoms.

3. The substance is often taken in larger amounts or over a longer period than intended.

4. There is a persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control substance use.

5. A great deal of time is spent in activities necessary to obtain the substance, use the substance, or recover
from its effects.

6. Important social, occupational, or recreational activities are given up or reduced because of substance use.

7. The substance use is continued despite knowledge of having a persistent physical or psychological problem
that is likely to have been caused or exacerbated by the substance.

QUITE A DIFFERENCE!

Lindsay, please stop talking about AA.  Please reach out and ask for help.

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This from Amazon.com:

Editorial Reviews

“The Power of Slow is a life-changing book. Far from stating the obvious, Christine Hohlbaum provides new insights and persuasive arguments for reshaping our time and changing our lives for the better. A must read in our over-scheduled world!”–Wendy Walker, author of Social Lives, Four Wives, and Chicken Soup for the Soul – Power Moms

“In the fast-paced world of Blackberrys, Iphones, and Twitter, it’s hard to find one’s footing. In an easy-to-read style, Ms. Hohlbaum has described a process of slowing down that is so very important to our wholeness, balance, and well being. She does so in a poetic and sometimes humorous way. She has captured a heavy topic with a light touch and yet we learn many lessons.  I highly recommend this book to help anyone who wants to stay healthy, sane, and enjoy life more fully.”–Bonnie Michaels, work-life balance expert and author of Solving the Work/Family Puzzle and A Journey of Work-Life Renewal

Product Description

Getting to the heart of our hassled and over-scheduled existence, Christine Louise Hohlbaum cheerfully investigates 101 ways to increase our quality of life and productivity by reevalu ating how we perceive and use time. She claims that everyone has their own personal bank account of time. We cannot control time itself, but we can manage the activities within the time we do have. The Power of Slow gives readers practical, concise directions to change the relationship they have with time and debunks the myths of multitasking, speed, and urgency as the only ways to efficiency.

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Have you been affected by the recession? I surely have, and so have most of us, right? Our economy has gone through some pretty startling changes in the last year or two.

I believe that how we react to these changes will determine whether we prosper or fail, as individuals, and as a nation. Will you wave the white flag and hope that better days are coming, or will you adapt and overcome? I choose the latter. Whether you call it a “down-turn”, “recession”, “slow-down”, or even the dreaded “DEPRESSION”, the truth is that it is up to you to use our changing economy as an opportunity to excel.

Don’t Drink the Kool-Aid.

We’ve all been hearing it in the media. Every other commercial is advertising a “recession proof” this, or a “beat the slow-down” that. The television news has been falling all over themselves covering the recession ad nauseum. If you listened to all this hype you might believe the world was coming to an end. It isn’t.

It’s hard to find quality information on the news these days. What you can easily find is infinite quantities of spin and hype. Don’t focus on the gloom and doom, sensationalist reporting. Stay positive, even if times have gotten tough. You’ll be fine, but you’re probably going to have to make a few changes.

Do Something Different.

The other day, a friend was telling me about his woes. “I’m a union carpenter, and I haven’t worked in six months. I’ve never seen it this bad”, he says. I got the sense that this man was prepared to wait another six months, or more, for things to get better.

In the meantime there are other union carpenters – smarter, more industrious ones who are already making their moves. They are becoming entrepreneurial, and going into business for themselves. They aren’t going to sit and wait for the union to save them, they are going to make things happen now. These are the kinds of folks who will prosper through difficult and changing times while others shake their heads and blame “the recession”.

Diversify:

When money gets tight, we need to re-think our business model. Say, for example, your hours have been cut. You went from 40 to 30 hours per week. It is probably time to find a source of supplemental income. Pick a skill or a talent that you have and market it.

Say, for example, you play the guitar. If you’ve been at it for a while, then you probably have knowledge and information that is worth money. Put an ad on Craigslist, or something similar, and start giving guitar lessons. Get yourself a few good customers and you’ll be right back where you were in terms of income, and you’ll be doing something different and presumably more enjoyable in the process.

If you’re not sure what to do, then make a list of your skills. We all have them – things like: gardening, tennis, piano, second language, computer, etc. Now put a possible way to earn money next to each skill. Go from there, and you’ll be on your way to leveraging your individual skills to earn extra cash.

Most of us believe that we have made something out of ourselves through hard work, and smart decision making. In this country we have to earn what we have. We aren’t born entitled, and there are no free rides. The economy has made some pretty tough circumstances for most of us. Nobody is denying that, but, it is important to recognize that we are dealing with exactly that – circumstances.

I will never surrender and become a victim of circumstance. We will all persevere and meet these challenges as long as we keep things in their proper perspective. Tune out the hype and negativity, get back to the basics of hard work and opportunism. Let the tough times weed out the defeatists, and we and our economy will come through this recession stronger than ever.

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Personally, I’ve never been bored a day in my life, but for some people, if they’re out of their normal routine, say on a weekend, holiday, or vacation, they get stuck and lose their momentum. They may not be thinking creatively of what they can come up with to do. Or they may have a pretty simple life of work and the basic home life. Or they keep so busy at their jobs, that there’s no time to develop hobbies or outside interests, so when they do have that rare free time, they don’t know what to do with themselves.

Do you see yourself in any of these scenarios? One suggestion I’ve made to some of my coaching clients, is when they have a few minutes, to make a list of all the fun activities they’d like to do—with no limits on time, talent, or money. This list might include simple things they rarely have time for like going to the movies, visiting a friend or relative, or working in the garden. Or they might include more time-intensive activities like learning a new hobby or sport, writing a book, or taking a trip.

So consider spending 5 or 10 minutes making a list of your own of your interests, hobbies, passions, secret dreams, and anything else you can think of that you don’t have time to do, you’ve always wanted to do, or you fantasize about doing if you had the time and money.

If your creative juices need a little tune up, here are just a few ideas to get you started:

1. Read a book: do you have a massive collection of books gathering dust on the bookshelves in every room of your house? I love books and sometimes feel more like a collector than a reader. But if you have some downtime when you’re feeling there’s nothing to do, it’s the perfect time to pull one of those dusty books off the shelf and settle in for an adventure.

2. Write a book: I’ve heard the 81% of people say they want to write a book someday but a very small percentage ever do. If you find yourself with time on your hands, that’s the perfect time to plunge into this project. You’d be surprised that once you’ve outlined your book, the rest is just filling in the blanks. Set a certain amount of time every week (or day) for this project and you won’t have nothing to do for quite a while!

3. Review your investments: If you’re like most people you might get all those statements in the mail, but you either stack them or file them away in your filing cabinet. With nothing to do, how about pulling them out, sorting through them, making a chart to see what you have, what the current values are, and deciding if you want to make some adjustments.

4. Start a business: If you work the 9-5 routine, you may have always dreamed of starting your own business. There are some that can be started easily in your home that you can do part time to provide some tax benefits. Now that you have some time, start the research into seeing what might be the best venture for you, whether it’s offering a service that you are skilled at like consulting, or a product you’d like to sell, perhaps on eBay.

5. Organize your house: To some people this is a lot of fun, to others it’s drudgery. If the whole family is in the “nothing to do” mode, gather them together, assign each one a room, and have a reward when everyone is done–pizza and a movie! You can also encourage the kids that they’ll make some money when you hold a garage sale to sell all your cast-offs!

6. Take some “me” time: How little “me” time most of us have in our busy lives. When we have nothing to do, we generally think we need to get busy, find some activity to fill in the empty spaces. Instead, what about time for reflection, a walk in the woods or on the beach, writing in your journal, just lying quietly on a blanket or lounge chair. We spend so much time as human “doings” it’s refreshing and renewing to spend time as a human “being.”

7. Volunteer: I see notices in my local newspaper every day with more volunteer opportunities than I could even imagine. Giving back is extremely rewarding to the place and people you’re giving to as well as yourself. If you’ve never done it, put it at the top of your list of what to do when there’s nothing to do.

With all these suggestions and your own list, I don’t ever again want to hear you say “There’s nothing to do.”

For some humorous things to do that you may want to add to your list, check out http://www.cs.earlham.edu/~jimg/reading/bored.html.

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